


Hisomiya - Deep Shadow - Part II

by SonicoSenpai



Series: Hisomiya [2]
Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Alternate Ending, Auction, Awkward First Times, Awkwardness, Beating, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Sex, Demon Deals, Demon Sex, Demon trials, Demons, Devils, Escape from Brothel, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, First Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Forced Prostitution, Grooming, I have it out for Konoe, Jealous Rai, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Magicians, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Consensual Violence, OOC Rai, Outdoor Sex, Poor Konoe, Rough Sex, Sanga Training, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence, Shaman - Freeform, Submission, Sword Training, Tests, Torture, Trauma, Trials, Violence, Weirdly Consensual for this Universe, Weirdly Easy Escapes, What Have I Done, breaking curses, outdoor blowjobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-06-15 16:51:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 61,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15417363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai
Summary: Instead of escaping Karou on his own, Tokino's father, the merchant, trades his goods to help Konoe escape his fate as the sacrifice of his village. However, in exchange, Konoe ends up getting traded to the largest brothel in Ransen. Tokino swears he will save all his money to get Konoe out of this predicament.Konoe is grateful for having his life saved. After all, he knows nothing of the city, of Ransen, of brothels, of females, or of sex. And he's about to learn it all very quickly.Part II begins after Konoe's virginity has been auctioned off. It's the middle of the night with his first client, a beautiful, silver Setsuran bounty hunter named Rai, who actually got his consent before taking his virginity. Konoe has fallen hard for his cat, and wants to leave the brothel with Rai--will, in fact, do ANYTHING to leave with Rai. But his collar is locked to the bed, and he finds himself a little hopeless, knowing that by the end of the evening, his new life as a whore will begin, and Rai will go back to being a bounty hunter. He is thinking of a way to make sure Rai doesn't forget him, and to make sure he comes back for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is based on Nitro+Chiral's characters from Lamento - Beyond the Void, and I'd say it will have some dark, non-con stuff in it. It may feature some redeeming moments, but if you don't like the bad endings (like the devil endings) in Lamento, maybe don't read this fiction. It's not for you. I was craving an outlet and didn't want it leaking over into my school-boy fanfic.
> 
> I'll try to keep the tags updated. And trigger warnings will be posted in the chapter summaries. But really, this one is dark and unrealistic. It's Sisa, and Konoe is cursed, in more ways than one, in this fanfic.
> 
> Also—if you haven’t played the game and you plan to—please do. This may feature some spoilers from the game, though the plot is quite different.

**Mind-blowing** —those are the words I’d use to describe the sex we just had. My first time. I can't believe it. Rai has been grooming me, letting me rest and recover.

Afterward, I found my heart shattered—knowing Rai would be leaving me to my new life as a whore in this place. I begged him—promising myself and my body to him—promising I’d do anything and everything for him and him alone—if he would just take me with him.

But he can’t. I _know_ he cannot. I’ve literally been chained to the bed. Perhaps Ryo thinks that my escape—or kidnapping—is a possibility, and has planned for that possibility. However, Rai's words still ring in my head.

_“I will take you out of here.”_

And I believed him when he said those words. This cat is not a cat who says things simply because I want to hear them.

And now, we are here. He has pulled my head into his arms, and I am finding myself getting aroused once again. Is this the result of the heat? The aphrodisiac? Whatever the case, my body is starting to shiver wherever he touches. He is gently grooming my ears, each formerly comforting stroke of his tongue is becoming hotter and hotter, little shivers running down the length of my body, stiffening my tail and making the fur fluff out again.

I need to _show_ him—I need him to remember me—I need him to remember me once he leaves here. What can I do—even with my lack of experience?

When I open my eyes, I look down the length of his body—he is nude—he’s actually undressed fully, lying on top of the sheets. He has the body of a god—an ancient deity—perfectly sculpted. I’m aware he is a bounty hunter, and that he trains and fights to maintain this perfect form. His chest is broad, his stomach flat and well-defined, and his waist and hips are slender and muscular. He has powerful legs—he must be incredibly fast.

He must be successful, if he was able to afford my price. What is he even doing _here_? He should have cats pursuing him—drooling after him—unless—are they afraid?

I still don’t say anything, my mind working. He still is grooming my ears—now, the touch is getting a little rougher, and I squirm out of his grip for a moment to look at his face.

The pale blue eye watches my face.

“What,” his not-question tone demands. “What is it.”

That tone—I really, _really_ like it. I love his voice, that commanding tone spills into my ears and does something to my body. It makes me do things I would never normally even _think_ of doing.

My body curls up a little, and I crawl up on top of him, resting my hands on his shoulders, my knees resting on either side of his hips. My feet move inward a little bit, smoothing over his bare legs, stroking his thighs gently, my toes spread fully, trying to maximize skin contact.

I’m still completely naked—but I do not care. I lower my face to his and kiss his nose playfully—such a dignified nose—I almost feel naughty when I kiss it so playfully—a blush spreads across my cheeks.

His eye drops to my lips, then to my throat and chest, then lower still. I know what he’s looking at, and the flush on my cheeks deepens.

“Haven’t had enough yet?” His voice purrs softly, and one of his hands grasps the base of my tail, which makes my body jerk suddenly. It feels so good when he touches me like this.

I lower my face to his again, sitting down on his hips, and I kiss his mouth aggressively—invading his mouth with my tongue. I run my fingers through silky strands of silver, brushing his ears, and hold the back of his head, cradling his head to deepen the angle of our kiss. I want to touch the back of his throat with my tongue and make him purr—and so I do.

I want him to remember how good he feels when he is with me—I want him to _dream_ about me—I want him _obsessed_ —because to be forgotten here, left alone here… I don’t think I can stand the thought.

“Let me,” I whisper against his lips when I finally pull away. His small silver ears twitch in the corner of my eye—interest? I drop a trail of kisses along his jaw and down his throat, and I hear a small gasp—stifled just a little too late. I notice how he does this—he does not permit himself to make noise, almost as though he will not allow himself to indulge in too much pleasure.

It's _that_ which makes me even more determined. I want to see what it looks like when he comes undone, when he loses self-control, when he is no longer able to control his panting, short breaths, when he is no longer able to stifle his sighs.

I continue dropping soft, tender kisses along his chest—and I keep moving lower and lower—till I reach his belly. His abs are not relaxed—not at all—his muscles flex beneath me.

“What are you—what do you plan to do.” His voice comes out raw, hoarse, sexual. 

Closer, closer to what I want to hear, how I want him to remember me—but not enough. I cannot be forgotten here. I will _not_ be left here. I draw my tongue out of my mouth and being to groom the soft silver fur below his navel, curling my own body up on top of his legs, though I feel his knees trying to pull up underneath my body, almost as if he’s trying to protect himself from my caresses.

I use my claws to comb through his fur carefully—it’s straight and fine—surprisingly fine, compared to the thick hair on his head and the fur on his ears. It’s cute. And he smells so good, I notice, as I inhale deeply at the space where his hip and his leg connect.

He actually shivers underneath beneath my fingers when I breathe in and enjoy his scent—and I _love_ that. I want more of _that_.

Somewhat impulsively, I take a similarly languid grooming stroke against his length—from base to tip—and then swirl my tongue around the tip, mushing it into the slit, but I do not take him completely into my mouth. I repeat the long stroke, and I lift my eyes up to his face and am shocked to see he is actually _watching_ me.

 _Good_ , I think. I want him to remember. I want him to remember that I’m the one making him feel like this.

“Remember me,” I say, a little shocked to hear the words spilling from my lips—and even more surprised to hear my tone of voice. It’s sexy, heated, breathy like I’m finding it hard to breathe. “You _will_ come back for me, won’t you?”

I watch the silver cat’s pupil blow wide and dark, in both surprise and pleasure, when I take him into my mouth fully his hips relax and the muscles of his buttocks relax into my palms.

 _Mine_.

A gasp escapes his lips—a guttural sound—which also surprises me since he was quiet when we were just what we were doing a few hours ago. It tingles deep inside my ears, making them twitch wildly, mimicking the impatient, twitching movements of my tail.

I am not exactly sure what to do—I haven’t done this of my own free will before, but my only goal is to make him feel good. I’m operating on instinct alone now, not remembering anything Ryo showed me. So I use my hands. I can’t fit all of him in my mouth—not at first—without risk of choking or gagging. I’m dripping saliva everywhere—onto his hips, his thighs, the bed, down my chin, and out of the corners of my mouth—but I really can’t pay attention to that now.

I try swallowing a little—and it seems, just after I swallow there is more room in my mouth. I take a little more of him into my mouth, now that my throat is a little more relaxed, and I use only one hand to guide him, stroking his fluffy tail—and its fur completely bristled at the base—with the other.

When the tip of his dick brushes the back of my throat—and I do not gag—I am pleased. I also start purring, loud and wet, my own tail whipping behind me in delight. Again, I feel another shudder rushing through his body, through the hips I’ve pinned to the bed—and I want to see if I can do this till he comes. I increase the suction in my mouth, ever careful to cover my fangs, and keeping my throat relaxed. 

I peep up at him again through my long lashes, and his eyes are closed—but he looks almost strained—as though he is struggling to remain quiet—and I see his throat convulsing as though he is suppressing his voice. Heat shoots through my body right then—seeing him like this—vulnerable—overcome—and my own dick gets a rush of pleasure. Even the lewd wet sounds leaking between my lips and tongue and his cock make my ears twitch with desire.

Increasing my enthusiasm, I wonder—is there _more_ I can do?

The heat in my own body is becoming slightly distracting. No—not slightly distracting—but _more_ than slightly distracting—it’s _really_ distracting. I can actually feel a pulse in my own cock now, and it will not be denied.

My heat-raddled brain starts to fire ever so slowly, and I move. I watch my body as it moves all on its own—it’s like I’m a separate creature and I’m watching myself from the outside. 

I take my mouth away from his cock but keep moving my hands. I am pretty desperate at this point, I have to confess. I think he could probably make me come by just touching me—and he has grown very large in my mouth and my jaw is tired. But mostly… I want… _more_.

I bring my body up to a kneeling position, straddling my own hips over his. Keeping my eyes on his face—and he opens his eye rather abruptly when I take my mouth off of his cock but doesn’t speak. He _almost_ looks relieved, but his face is filled with passion, still.

I feel myself blush, the heat scattering across my chest, my neck, and my cheeks. But again, I don’t have time to worry about that. I take his length in my hand and line him up with my entrance, as I kneel over top of him. There’s no reason this shouldn’t work, is there?

I arch my back just a little and start to back up against his dick, lowering myself onto him—and both his hands shoot out to my hips suddenly, offering me a little more stability. The look on his face changes—into something _more_ than heated—surprise, perhaps—and something else. Maybe it’s pure lust. To be looked at like that—by this silver cat—it sends shivers up my spine and down into my tail. It makes me feel _desired_ —and wanted.

I feel like I should look away, but I find I cannot. I know Ryo would tell me I would be disobedient and disrespectful for not dropping my eyes. I still feel my face burning—but I feel like I _have_ to see him. I have to see Rai’s face, and so I watch.

He helps me guide my hips lower myself onto him—with me controlling the angle this time, with my body weight controlling the depth of the penetration—it feels so different. Still impossibly tight—almost too tight, too restricted—but I want to take him into my body. I want to _welcome_ him into my body.

And I can watch him as he enters me—I do watch his face. He closes his eye partly, those long lashes coming down half-way—but it also looks like he wants to see my expression, and he also finds it difficult to look away.

“You are so beautiful,” I see his lips move, and his low voice purrs those words, but his voice sound different—desperate, on the edge, heated, passionate. “Irresistible. Enchanting. Captivating.”

Each one of those words tickles my ears—deep inside, making me want to shake my head a little bit. The words touch me, deep inside my head, deep within my heart.

His hands wrap around my hips and support my butt, grasping for my tail, stroking it gently at the base and then moving out along the length toward the tip. While I wait for a moment without moving, I adjust to his size, taking deep breaths, enjoying this connection.

This feels like a deeper penetration than before, although I control the movement, once I rock my hips even a little—and stars shoot against the backs of my eyes. I thought the heat had cooled off after our first session, but it hasn’t at all. Even a slight rocking of my hips sends those sparkling lights and wonderful tingling sensations up my spine. 

“You feel so good,” Rai whispers.

I rock a little more, less tentative now, trying to shift my angle, wondering if I can find that spot inside my body that makes me go a little crazy—when Rai suddenly pulls himself up to a sitting position. I watch as his abdomen contracts, and he pulls me close to him, pulling me close to his chest.

 _Hot_. His chest is hot and covered with a fine layer of sweat. And gods, he smells so good.

His hair brushes against me and he brings his mouth to mine and kisses my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck and his back, pulling him closer, returning his kiss with abandon. The curtain of his hair sticks against my chest and neck—the sweat covering my body acting like glue, making my skin adhere to his.

Drawing my claws, I run them through the long strands of his hair and down his back, leaving light scratches behind, and I hear him growling into my mouth—but it’s a purring growl—I feel his fangs in my mouth against my tongue. I lick them tantalizingly.

Suddenly, I feel him thrust up his hips while I am rocking mine—and I feel an electric shocking sensation from within my body—and an almost nauseating pleasure that feels like I am falling rushes through my body that starts at my hips and zips through the rest of me—and a loud gasping, shuddering sigh escapes my mouth into his.

“Raiiiii…”

"So responsive..."

The corners of his mouth curl up underneath my lips, and he repeats the motion, only this time, his hands move from my ass to the small of my back, making me sit up a little straighter and pressing my body closer to his, squeezing my cock in-between our stomachs. It’s almost too much stimulation.

“Ah, Rai, if you do that—” another moan escapes with that odd sinking feeling. 

“You’re going to tell me you don’t _like_ it?” He thrusts his hips up again when he says the word “like.” I wonder at his strength since I am sitting on top of him. And I continue moving on top of him, rocking my own hips, moving up and down as much as I can.

“I’m close—please— _please_ ,” and just like that, I’m begging and pleading and at his mercy, even though I was planning on making this about _him_ , making this something he would never forget.

Within a matter of minutes, I lose my ability to think, and the world decelerates into slow motion. The wonderful, nauseating pleasure takes away my reality and reduces my current world to a blinding silver—silver hair, silver fur, and that pale blue eye. Rai pulls his lips away to look at my face just as I climax— _what is he doing? Is he watching me lose myself??_ Loud gasping, purring sounds come out of my mouth, and he rubs my tail, and I clench my insides when I finally come, and he squeezes my lower body close to his stomach, pressing my dick between our bodies, which is where I release.

Rai watches me—carefully—his pupil blown so large the pale blue looks almost black. Pleasure comes to me in waves, and as relaxation starts to take over. I feel something inside me start to come loose—I hear a sound—something like a melody—when Rai’s body starts to unwind. I feel his climax—I actually _feel_ it. I can feel his climax, too.

I feel his body stutter first and then release—it isn’t that I hear it, it’s that I actually _feel_ it. It’s different from the first time. I feel him shuddering first, and then I feel his body release. I feel him restraining his voice, and then—then, I feel the pleasure rushing through his body, and I tremble as well. I feel his release—and I know when it’s coming—and then it releases into me.

My eyes fly open—does he know what just happened? What was that?  
  
His eye is closed—and he is resting his head on my shoulder.

Was that a hallucination? I was so connected to him that I _felt_ him come. I have to leave with him. The collar around my neck has _never_ felt so heavy—the chain rattles loudly in my ear as I slowly lift myself up from his lap, intending to grab a towel to clean us up.

However, I collapse to the floor when I try to stand. I have no power in my legs.

“Oy! What are you doing? Come back here.”

Before I know what is happening, my body has been grabbed and Rai has pulled me back into bed with him.

“I-I was just going to grab something to clean up,” I say, ashamed. I didn’t realize my legs wouldn’t work.

I can't get the memory of his climax out of my head. Did he hear the melody? Did he experience that?

“Hush, now. Just be still.”

Rai gets up to grab a towel, bringing it to the side of the bed and cleans me up, gently and tenderly. Occasionally, he glances up to my face with a curious expression. Is he confused, too?

I’m a little embarrassed now.

“You don’t need to—”

“Be still. Just let me,” he interrupts.

I sigh quietly.

“Did you—” Rai starts to ask.

My ears perk up. He _did_ notice, didn’t he?

“Just now, did you _do_ something to me?” Rai asks.

“What?” I ask. “Did you feel something, too?”

“It was weird. It was almost as though you were inside my head.”

“I felt you when you… when you came,” I say, looking away. “I heard a melody, deep within my body, I think. And then I could feel you.”

“I heard part of that song. Something like that happened when I first met you, too,” Rai says, continuing to clean off my body, moving to my chest and arms. The water is quite chilly, but I try not to shiver. “It felt like something within you was calling out to me. It’s this power that drew me to you originally. Do you think—you might be able to do it again? Deliberately?” 

“Um, I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I could try, but I feel very, very tired now.”

Rai drops the towel in the bucket and sees I am shivering. “Ah, I’ve made you cold. Let me warm you up a little.” 

He wraps his body around me and starts grooming me. Somewhere along the way, he’s cleaned himself up, too, and he is nice and warm. He feels so nice. It doesn’t take long for me to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the first time, Konoe is rather blown away by the sex he had with Rai, and he wants to be sure that this silver cat will remember him when he leaves here. So he starts his own offense.
> 
> He attacks Rai with everything he has, plays with his tail, and goes down on him, and Rai responds quite nicely. But he doesn't get to finish since his own desperation has increased so much--he rides Rai on his own, which Rai also quite likes. When Konoe comes--almost feels like he is connected to the silver cat this time, and he thinks he heard a melody in his head. (He did--he's a Sanga, after all, and this is his most favorite Touga.)
> 
> Rai is pleased as punch to have found himself a Sanga in a brothel of all places. That's why he liked Konoe's voice so much!
> 
> Whoops—in re-reading this, I found an error. I’m fixing it now!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written from Rai’s point of view.
> 
> He swears a little.
> 
> Trigger warnings: references to sex (with Konoe), intimidation.

The moon of light must be barely peeking over the horizon, and a few rays are shining through the window. The kitten is still sleeping soundly in my arms—almost as though he hasn’t slept for weeks. I lean over and inhale the warm scent at his nape—he smells _delicious_ —even still.

Last night through the early hours of the morning... it feels a little like a dream. That was the best sex I’ve ever had. Perhaps the old man was right about something—he’s always accused me of not knowing what I missing. Is this kitten the key? For years, that damned innkeeper has been nagging at me—twice yearly, without a break—“Rai, find someone compatible,” or “Rai, it will change your life.” And I thought how could such an act—my body being thoughtlessly driven by uncontrollable (and often annoying) instinct—be fulfilling in any way? 

I was wrong, it seems. I think it’s the first time I’ve been wrong and the old man was right. Perhaps that old guy has some experience with sex that I don’t. Because last night—both times— _amazing_. Our interaction didn’t simply cool off the heat in my body. It was like this kitten fit against me like a piece of a puzzle, filling a hole in my life I never knew I had.

Of course, it helps that he’s cute and nice on the eyes. He was adorable when I first saw him in the lobby—that perfectly round ass of his being paddled was a sight that would turn anyone’s head. Honestly, he probably did nothing wrong except having an ass shaped like that, to begin with. Well—I can imagine his mouth didn’t exactly help out any, either. But not just his body—his face is adorable, those golden eyes—but what surprises me so much are his soft ears. Is it possible I have an ear fetish? It’s meaningless to think about it now.

Even before I was sure he as a Sanga, I knew he was something special—but I know for sure that his voice wasn’t the only thing that attracted me so powerfully.

But I know what I heard. This kitten is a Sanga. I don’t think he knows it, and I’m sure the brothel owner doesn’t know it. I’ve already checked the chain connecting him to the bed three times, and there’s no way for me to undo it with the tools I have. I considered hacking the headboard to pieces with my sword, but that would be too noisy—only the walls are sound-proof, probably to safeguard the safety of the brothel’s merchandise—and it would take too long, I think. However, I can come back for him, this time with the right tools. I just didn’t know I’d be taking him along. I’ve already decided that he will be my Sanga. 

I think he wants to be mine. 

I don’t really care either way. His life will be better with me than it would be at this place. I just have to figure out what I need for tools and how to sneak them in with me. And I want to do it soon—because this kitten is not cut out to work here.

Perhaps if I could borrow something for metal-working in my pack—it must be able to cut through brass chain—and then escape through the window, we would be fine. I’m sure I could persuade him to go along with me. I doubt the owner would pursue me—especially not after a little research into my history.

Then, I’ll train him until he can control his song, and that will increase my power. We can visit a shaman to see about his curse. I think there’s a famous one who lives a little way outside of Ransen. Then we can take on those four devils—who undoubtedly will be in pursuit. If they are indeed the cause of his curse, they will be able to locate him regardless of where he runs, and we will deal with them together. I’ve taken out devils before—one at a time. However, four at once will definitely be a challenge. Maybe it would serve us to see what it is they want with him and see if they can be reasoned with. 

Why _this_ kitten? Do they know he is a Sanga? Is there something else about him we don’t yet know?

I can’t help smiling when I remember him clicking his tongue at his handler before the door was even closed. Looking down at his body, he has been severely treated here. They must subject him to daily beatings—it’s probably that handler who beats him, in fact. I cannot believe this kitten would be so bold and lippy to the one who beats him, however. His face looks so innocent and compliant.

He may prove hard to handle, but I’m sure I can take anything he wants to dish out for me. Forcing obedience is a specialty of mine—it comes with the job, after all. Plus, Konoe seems to garner me some respect, at least—well, he did _after_ he told me to go fuck myself.

I repress a chuckle. It probably wouldn’t be funny if he told another client the same. Or if the sex we had afterward wasn’t so godsdamn gloriously fur-raising. 

I’ll find out from the brothel owner when he will be available next, and I’ll be sure to show up then. Greasing his palm will hopefully guarantee the kitten’s safety. I can’t imagine someone else spending time with him in the way I just did—in fact, the thought of him servicing another client fills me with anger, much to my surprise. What is this feeling? Not jealousy, I’m sure. I do not feel jealous—it’s just not an emotion I ever feel. So it really can’t be that.

Still—the thought of this small black kitten being forced against his will—being held down or restrained on this bed—while some useless rich lecher fucks him makes me _livid_. And the thought of another cat pleasuring him—another cat hearing those sighs and gasps he doesn’t repress—my gods—if that happened, I’d want to kill the cat who provoked that response. Those sounds are reserved for _me_ , and me _alone_ , after all.

But I’m sure this isn’t jealousy. Since I don’t get jealous after all.

Also, I’ll be sure to give him positive feedback—hopefully they will give him a day to recover, some decent food, and some additional rest—and in a place where he can actually sleep since he is acting like he hasn’t slept in days. I wonder where they keep him. It surely isn’t in here. 

I look at the sleeping kitten on the bed next to me. He’s so thin, and his body is so delicate—Karou, huh? It’s a starving village, apparently. He’s probably been overwhelmed here with the demands of his new life. I run my fingers along his side, tracing the dip in his slim waist—he has such a nice waistline—exaggerated, hips almost like a female’s—in fact, prettier than many of the females at this very brothel. He sighs and murmurs in his sleep. It almost sounds like he just said my name—but that can’t be. He only just met me. He wouldn’t be dreaming about me.

I really don’t want to leave him here. However, I don’t see a way ahead without me coming back for him with the right supplies to break him out. I rise from the bed with a strange heavy pulling sensation on my heart—maybe I ate something that didn’t sit well with me last night. Heartburn? I’m not old enough to get heartburn, am I? What is this unpleasant feeling?

I look over my shoulder at the kitten on the bed. He’s on his side, his hands curled up underneath his chin, his tail coiled loosely around his body. There’s that pulling sensation again, and it hits me right when I look at the sleeping kitten. He just looks so sweet and innocent—so helpless. What the fuck is this feeling? It can’t be the heat—I _know_ that isn’t it. Fucking twice should have cured me of that ailment. And I’ll be damned if I have to ask the old man about this. 

I feel slightly ill as I’m pulling on my clothes. The kitten will probably be upset that I didn’t wake him before I left, but he needs his sleep. I’ll ask the owner to let him rest for the rest of the day. I look around in my coin pouch and dig out some silver coins—as generous as a tip as I can justify. After all, I’ll be getting it back in a few days, assuming the owner doesn’t keep it, which I suppose is a possibility—and I leave it on the side table.

Foolishly, I lean down and kiss those soft, oversized black ears, and they twitch in response to my touch. It isn’t like he is rejecting my touch—only like he is startled by it—and then he relaxes. A gentle but strangely loud purr emanates from the core of his body. It tempts me sorely to get back in bed with him—if only for a few minutes. But if I do, I won’t be able to collect the supplies I need and make sure I know how to get him the fuck out of this place to keep him with me, which is where he belongs. When I think that, the heavy feeling in my heart eases just a little.

Also, I’ll need to learn a little more about his history from the old man at the inn, much to my dismay, and the kitten with the mop of orange hair. The merchant’s son—I’d guess. He was watching my kitten with the eyes of more than a friend—but who wouldn’t? How could you not see him as anything other than what he was intended to be, the way he was dressed, in the peak of his heat? It was hard to look away from him when he was up on stage last night.

I think I know his father—if the orange fur is hereditary and those blue eyes—I’m pretty sure that’s the merchant who helped me when I lost my eye to that damned demon. He provided me valuable medicines as well as his skills as a medic to sew up what remained of my eye socket and stop the bleeding. What a horrific mess that was—I _hate_ unfinished business. 

In any case, I will likely be able to get information and tools from his shop.

My only hesitation is leaving my kitten here now, while he is sleeping. However, I’d like him to rest. And I don’t want to look into those pleading eyes again when he asks me to take him away from here. Something inside my chest hurt when he pleaded with me before—when he was promising himself—his body, even—to me, despite his pride and that lippy attitude of his. I don’t think I’d be able to convince him that I will come back for him, and I plan to be his next customer, too. He knows, after all. I already promised. I just can’t stand the idea of seeing disappointment and fear in those beautiful eyes.

I’m fully geared up and at the door, glancing over my shoulder once more at my peacefully sleeping kitten.

Shit.

I walk back to his side, stroke his ears one last time, and whisper, brushing the inky downy fur deep within that ear with my lips, “I’ll be back for you. I promise. I just need a few tools, and I will come back as your next customer. Don’t be afraid. You did so well tonight, and you pleased me greatly. I’ll be sure to sing your praises to the manager.”

At the spur of the moment, I take out my handkerchief. It’s a useless, meaningless gesture, I know, but I wrap it around the coins I left him. Then I find myself back at my kitten’s side, whispering again.

“I’ll be back to collect my hanky, and you along with it. Rest well, and dream of freedom.” 

I follow my words with a comforting, grooming lick to his ear, and he shivers little in his sleep. 

Gods, he’s so cute.

Did he really ask me not to forget him? How could I? I can barely get my ass out the door. It takes everything I have to push open the door and leave my kitten there sleeping, that fancy gold collar locked around his neck, and that sinking feeling returns to my chest when I walk out of the room. 

Wait a minute. “My kitten?” When did I start thinking of him as “mine”?

Not to worry, though. This will only make me more devoted to the task I have to accomplish.

I am pleased to see both the owner and his handler waiting at the bottom of the stairs, rather nervously. This means I won’t have to rap on any doors, waking random strangers while I hunt them down. As I walk down the stairs with my usual dignity, the owner instantly looks up.

“How did Mikage behave for you? Was he to your liking? What sort of discipline did you find necessary?”

“He exceeded my expectations, and I left him a tip. He is soundly sleeping—I’m afraid I may have exhausted him.”

The owner looks up in shock, and Ryo asks, “What sort of discipline did he require?”

“None whatsoever,” I say in a loud voice. “He was as mellow and willing a partner as I could have hoped for, and by gods, he was actually in heat and compatible. I was most impressed. He is quite skilled at what he does, despite that innocent face of his.”

Ryo looks shocked. 

“I’m sure this young boy isn’t here of his own accord,” I say, my voice rather sharp. “However, you have profited from his auction quite handsomely. To be clear, the tip I left is intended for his own personal use.” 

“Of course,” the owner says, his brown curls bouncing as he nods his head.

“Also, I would like it if he might be given the rest of the day—as long as he likes—to remain where he is, sleeping. I will pay additionally, if necessary.”

“Oh, kind sir, that is a given. We were planning to return him to his quarters, but we can let him rest there if you think he will be more comfortable.” The owner’s voice irritates me.

“Also, I would like to know when he will next be available. I’d like to be the next client he services as well, and I would like to pay for a full night with him.”

“Kind sir, you honor him with your request—” the owner is unable to keep this shock and delight out of his voice.

“Not at all. I just recognize it when I receive exceptional service, and I will do everything I can to return to that service. I will be in Ransen for the next three days. I plan on spending as much time with him as is possible.” 

“Well, since this was his first time, we were planning to give him tonight off, but if you don’t want to wait, we might be able to have him ready for you by later this evening?”

“Hmm,” I place my hand on my chin. “I would hate to overtax the kitten, but he still may be benefiting from the heat. I’ll stop by tonight, late, after the evening bells, to see if it’s possible.” 

The owner rubs his hands together.

“However, when I say I would like to be the **next** patron, I mean, I would like to be the **next patron**. Do you understand what I am saying?” I take a step closer to the two cats in the lobby, towering over them. “I will be **very** disappointed if he is given to another client before me, or if he is used in any other way.”

“Oh, we understand completely,” Ryo answers. “When our whores behave appropriately—even the conscripted ones—they will earn rewards for good behavior. We will certainly allow Mikage peace until you return.” 

“If it helps, this is a deposit for tonight’s fee. I realize you haven’t posted his rates, but I expect they will rise once you find out what he can do.” I place a small bag of coins in the brothel owner’s hands. It’s about twice what you’d spend on an entire night with four females, from what I have gathered.

The owner’s eyes get wide, and he states, “Please, sir. Mikage will be free anytime you come into town. Just let us know your schedule and we will happily work with you. I’m sure your schedule may be hectic at times, so I’m glad our facilities can help relieve some of your stress.”

“Thank you,” I say. I make sure to look down at both cats again. “Please make sure he is very well-rested and well-fed before I arrive. The poor thing needs some meat on his bones. Please offer him your best food the moment he wakes and put it on my tab.”

More disgusting groveling and bowing, and several more shocked looks exchanged with the handler. I turn to the handler directly.

“Whatever lessons you were trying to teach him worked perfectly under pressure. That was not the same kitten I saw out here in the lobby.”

The handler smiles nervously, mostly sizing me up and examining my weapons carefully. “Thank you, sir. All I did was threaten him if he failed to please you. I’m thrilled to see that wasn’t the case. We shall reward him for his excellent behavior.” 

“Thank you. I will return tonight, expecting that my instructions will have been carried out to the letter.” I’m standing quite close to the two when I say my final farewells. “Congratulations on a fantastic final closing bid price. He is indeed a gem and was worth every penny.”

Ignoring the many pairs of staring eyes from the top of the stairs and down the hall, I take my leave, hearing an instant flutter as soon as the door slams shut behind me. Soft female voices begin to chatter—all at once—do they care for the kitten? They couldn’t be cruel to him, could they? And I couldn’t help feeling the tension between myself and the owner and handler resolve the minute I walked out the door.

“Terrifying!” I hear one of the men say.

“He was able to please _him_? How?”

I start walking briskly toward the inn. Worst to the first—it’s what the old man taught me about cleaning up my plate when given food I disliked. As long as it wasn’t too hot, anyway—eat what you like least (the worst) first, and save the best for the last. In this case, my worst case is a confrontation with the know-it-all old man. All I want to know is why he was there, and what he knows about the ginger cat’s involvement.

I dread conversations with Bardo. They always turn awkward, but today, I’ll be sure to keep my dagger sheathed. Although even that doesn’t bother him. Nothing bothers him, and that usually bothers me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Rai's POV.
> 
> The moon of light rises while Konoe is still sleeping. Rai feels guilty for leaving him behind, but he can't exactly subtly hack the headboard to pieces right now. He decides to come back with metal-working tools and escape out the window the next time, and before Konoe has to see a "real" client.
> 
> Rai is confused about his feelings--he gets really angry thinking of Konoe with anyone else--but insists it isn't jealousy since Rai doesn't get jealous. (It's jealousy.)
> 
> Rai leaves Konoe a tip in his handkerchief and whispers into his sleeping ear--remembering what he did the last time he left him here. Then, reluctantly, he leaves to find the brothel owner.
> 
> The owner and Ryo are waiting nervously downstairs, shocked to hear Mikage performed so well and pleased his first client. Rai slips them some cash--a deposit on the next available night--with a promise to return that evening, warning that he wants the kitten to rest up and eat before he arrives.
> 
> Also, he almost threatens the owner and Ryo, saying he would be terribly disappointed if someone else got to him first.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: non-con touching, caning.

When I finally open my eyes, I’m surprised to find I’m in the same room, but I notice Rai is gone the moment I awake. It almost startles me from sleep, and I bolt upright, all drowsiness has gone and is replaced with heartache and loneliness, the heavy chain weighing my neck down.

Rays of bright light shine cheerfully through the cracks in the curtains, but my knight in shining armor has left without a farewell.

I _knew_ he couldn’t take me with him. I mean—what was he going to do, take the bed, too? But I believe him when he said he’d be back for me and was working on a plan—and as I sit here, touching the golden collar around my neck, which feels extraordinarily heavy today, I remember I had a dream. 

Rai probably spoke to me, whispering softly in my ear, before he left, which is why I have that memory. Perhaps it’s even stronger because of that strange connection I felt the second time we had sex. 

Something glints in the slim rays of light on the table beside the bed—several silver coins wrapped inside a white handkerchief. It’s more money than I’ve ever seen at once time, but I don’t care about that. I want that handkerchief! I grab it immediately and press it to my face—and I can tell he’s been carrying this with him for days. I can almost feel his presence in his scent, and it’s so comforting. I want to be allowed to keep this. 

At first, I think of hiding it. If Ryo knows I want it, he will make me do terrible things for it—I foresee my miserable future ahead of me. Not every night is going to be like last night. When I move, my muscles are sore, but not _there_ —where I expected—where I think I should be the sorest.

I can’t afford to think about that right now because I’m starving, and I need to eat. It’s been almost 24 hours, and I’m getting desperate. I’m thinking of drinking the water he used to bathe me when the door opens.

It’s Ryo, of course, and I look down immediately.

What on earth did Rai tell them? Did he remember to give me a review? 

“So, sleeping beauty finally wakes.” Cold. His voice is so cold and chilling. An uneasy feeling washes over me when he walks into the room.

“Come, we have orders to feed you, so eat.” 

He plops the tray on the floor, and I scramble out of bed—not bothering with my clothes—and try to reach for it, but he pushes it slightly out of my reach, considering the length of my chain.

“Why don’t you beg for it?”

I’m starving—I’m still a little tired and I want to bathe. And he wants me to beg. I swallow my pride—he may not believe the lies Rai told him, so I obey.

After a slight hesitation, I move my body onto my knees in a humble bow, and I lower my face to my hands.

“Please, sir. I’ve not had food for the past 24 hours, and I’m famished. I obeyed your rules, the house rules, to the letter, and I left my client satisfied. I let him do whatever he wanted, and I made noise, just like you suggested. Please, I beg you, allow me to take part in this meal.” At the last part of my plea, I look up from underneath my long eyelashes, which I’m sure must be worse for wear from the makeup from yesterday—and I see Ryo is satisfied.

He pushes the tray closer to me.

“You did seem to leave him quite pleased with you. You have another client this evening, so you will need to eat your meal quickly before we get you cleaned up.”

Another client? Who? I want to know, but also, I almost _don’t_ want to know.

Instead, I nod my head, looking down at the tray of food before me, waiting for him to give me permission to eat or else leave. He waits.

“You are changed, Mikage. The owner is pleased with your services. But I’d like to remind you that you owe me personally.”

His words surprise me, so I glance up in confusion.

“At the auction, you agreed to exchange ‘anything’ for a chance to speak to your orange-haired friend.”

My stomach sinks. Those were fool-hardy words, but what choice did I have?

“I won’t be taking advantage of your offer for a few days, so you are in luck. But you’d best be prepared to show me what you’ve learned or face severe consequences.”

“Sir, have I performed well enough to earn my reward?” I’d almost forgotten to ask.

“Hmm. You did.” Ryo leans down a little, and I feel his fingers nudging my chin. I lift my face up to meet his gaze with this prompt. “Mikage, you earned us more last night than our best whore has in an entire week. Your auction was unprecedented. I was surprised, but your client left satisfied, making sure you received rest and food in this room as he departed, and I have never seen that before. And that client—he did not look easily pleased.”

“He was in heat as well, sir, and compatible with me, it seemed.” I’m embarrassed to talk about it.

“How were you punished?”

I pause a moment because I thought he said I had done so well. 

“How did that white cat force your obedience? How exactly did he discipline you?”

“There was no discipline necessary,” I look down. “I found him attractive, and that made it easy for me to comply with his demands—in my current state.”

There is another pause, making me worry that I’ve said the wrong thing, but Ryo huffs a little. “I’m glad you made as much noise as you did. It seemed to please him.”

Could he hear me? I don’t want to think about that.

“He said he left you a tip?”

“It’s here, on the table,” I give it to Ryo.

“He said it was meant for your personal use. I will start an account for you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Would you like to keep the handkerchief as a memento?”

“Please, if I may,” I respond, pretending to think it over before answering. I don't want to sound too eager.

“I’ll find a place for you to keep your acquired personal belongings, then.”

I want to know who my next customer is, but I don’t think I can ask. Also, I’d like to eat. “May I?” I look up at Ryo through my lashes again.

“Is this how you bewitched him? I haven’t seen you flashing this kind of look until today.”

“Bewitched?”

“Yes—looking up at your client through your eyelashes like that. It makes a person think of ways one might subjugate you—in the most graphic way possible. Keep it up, though. I think it’s a great selling point.”

It wasn’t intentional—I only meant to be permitted to eat. “May I eat? Please?” I ask again.

“You have been very patient. Go ahead. I’ll be back to collect you for bathing shortly,” Ryo replies, turning on his heel and leaving.

My stomach isn’t quite as ravenous when I think about the night ahead of me. Will the silver cat really come back for me so soon? I have my doubts, and it upsets me to even think about doing that sort of thing with anyone else. My heart hopes he will—but I think Ryo would have mentioned if he booked my services again so soon. Although, it would also be like him to keep something like this from me to keep me in a state of constant anxiety.

I have a horrible feeling about the devils. The markings on my wrists and ankles seemed to be less painful yesterday, but they are burning now. The skin around them feels hot to the touch. What if _they_ have asked to spend the night with me? All four? Even Kaltz, the least threatening of them—he was kind, but now, I don’t want to choose him because Rai may return for me.

I finish eating sooner rather than later, and I drink a lot of water. I’ve been sweating so much that I can’t remember emptying my bladder since yesterday. The meal I’ve been given is light and easy to digest—fresh and tasty—even better than what I’ve usually been given. Was it meant to be a reward?

After I finish eating, I put on my clothes—I don’t know when I will be able to wear them again. Ryo will rip them from me if I am not allowed to be dressed—except I will have to remove them for bathing.

In a short while, there’s a knock at the door, which surprises me. No one knocks—they just enter and drag me off where I need to be. I’m decent, and so I nervously say, “Come in.”

To my utter surprise, it’s the beautiful oiran, Sayuri, standing there.

“Mikage, I heard your auction was a success. I congratulate you,” she bows to me.

“Oh, please don’t,” I don’t really know how to behave around young women, as there were none in Karou. They all died of the Sickness when I was around five or else were taken from the village to be sheltered and protected.

“Ryo told me to fetch you for your bath.”

I look rather embarrassed, because I am currently chained to the bed, yet Sayuri walks right over to it and unlocks it without a word. She’s elegant and dignified, so delicate and small. I cannot imagine what she would do in a situation like last night, and I blush thinking about it.

I find myself admiring her kimono—so many layers—and the obi looks so heavy—does she take everything off when she does that? Maybe females do things differently? I know they are different from males but are they like other animals—like a cow or more like a chicken?

She smiles at me, staring at her, and I say, “Your kimono is so beautiful.”

“Thank you. Mikage,” she approaches me, holding my chain in her hand, and she touches my face. I’m still kneeling on the floor. “You are much more beautiful than any fabric I could wear. Come, let’s take you to the baths before Ryo loses his temper. He seems to enjoy taking his anger out on you.” 

I obediently follow her, watching her small footsteps—the way she walks makes her look like she glides across the floor. She is similar in size to me. I wonder if I could copy that. It looks like she puts her feet in a single straight line when she walks.

She leads me into the bath and asks, “May I stay and help you?”

“Uwa,” I’m flustered. “Ah, no. Thank you for your kind offer, but—"

“I could scrub your back. I do that for clients sometimes. We wouldn’t have to tell Ryo.”

“Ah, I’m afraid I would be punished and that might involve you as well. I am punished for looking at Ryo at the wrong times.”

“I’m so sorry, Mikage. But, you should know, we are glad you are here. We want to be of help to you in any way we can.”

I’m not sure I quite understand what she means.

“Are you here because this is where you want to be?”

“I am sterile, like many of us in this profession. When it was discovered I had no value in bearing children, I was given the freedom to play my instrument. This is the only place I can do that safely, these days. But yes, I am here of my own free will. It seems you are not, poor thing.”

Again, that smooth hand—so small and delicate—touches my face gently.

“I would love to hear you play,” I say. “That is actually why I asked—” and then I stop. Perhaps she doesn't know her services were offered to me as a reward. It's rather shameful.

“You asked for me as your reward because you wanted to hear me play?” Her eyes sparkle with delight. “I can’t fulfill your wish today, but I would like to, Mikage.”

“My name—” I start and stop again. “It’s Konoe. I feel like a liar when you call me that other name.”

“My name really is Sayuri now, although before I became an oiran, I was called Chiyo. We are given new names by our older sisters who train us.”

“I see.”

“Enjoy your bath—Konoe,” she says my name quietly, then leaves me in peace.

I strip off my clothes and shower quickly—and then try to find a way to clean my insides. I spend a little time soaking in the tub as well. While the water still burns my pinky—the one missing its nail—my body feels nice. My tooth is feeling all right now, too.

But soon, Ryo interrupts, demanding I get out for an inspection.

Inspection? Perhaps my nails? I obey immediately, but Ryo barks, “On all fours, now. Present yourself.”

Humiliated, I assume the position, and he does indeed inspect me quite carefully. I’m slightly tender when he pokes at me—but I always am.

“Let’s prepare you with another aphrodisiac tonight.”

I shudder when I feel his long finger invading my entrance—and that’s when I feel the soreness. I wince slightly at the pain.

“Setsuran cats are the largest breed, but I have seen some even larger than the silver bounty hunter. Sometimes they prefer small prey, for some reason. You’ll become used to it in time. You may still experience some residual effects of your heat, but you won’t have that on your side like you did last night.”

I get tired of his voice, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t spend this much time inside me last time, but I try to keep still.

“I worry you may be feeling prideful, Mikage, so I will be softening you a little to prepare you for this evening.”

I feel tears spring to my eyes, and my body starts to shake.

“I thought you were pleased with my performance!”

“I am—you have made the house proud. That is why I am only going to do your feet and your tail today, ten strokes each.”

I’m really discouraged. He doesn’t beat the girls—why does he feel the need to beat me?

“Sir, please—” I start to beg.

“Stretch out your tail behind you, Mikage,” Ryo’s voice sounds threatening, sending a chill through my body.

“If I behaved so well, why am I being punished?” My own voice sounds powerless, hopeless.

“You know I don’t appreciate you talking back to me. If you don’t shut your mouth, I’ll add on to this lenient sentence. I know you can take it, and the pain will remind you of your place. I don’t want to worry about you injuring a client and incurring additional wrath upon yourself. After this, you will go to the wardrobe, where the girls will prepare you. Now stop resisting and comply.”

Hesitating, I stretch out my tail behind me. He does not restrain it, however.

Smack—smack—smack.

“One, two, three,” I force the count out between gritted teeth. Sharp, stinging pain singes my tail and zips up into my spine, making me raise up onto my knees. Ryo is _not_ holding back today—almost as if he’s angry. 

Smack—smack—smack. 

The sharp pain switches to a burn, slowly fading into an off-putting tingling sensation that reaches into my spine and makes my hips feel heavy. I so much want to pull my tail away, out of the reach of the cane, but if I do, I know he will start over or punish me more. 

“Four, five, six,” I whisper. Over half-way done, I tell myself. I can do this.

Smack—smack—smack—smack.

Sharp cries fall from my lips with every strike—this is much harder than what he usually does, and he seems to be mainly aiming for the middle of my tail, staying away from the tip and the base. I gather my wits and clench my teeth, my sobs trying to break through, and I manage to count. 

“Seven, eight, nine, and ten.”

I’m filled with relief since the blows to my tail are usually much worse than the ones to my feet. I lower my body to the floor, resting my face on the cool ground, trying to catch my breath. Before I manage to catch my breath, however, Ryo is already punishing the soles of my feet.

Smack-smack-smack.

“Ah!” I cry out in surprise, my ears twitching back toward the sound, and then from the pain that makes my toes curl. I keep my upper body pressed to the ground, however, and I count again—still through gritted teeth.

“One, two, three.”

Smack-smack-smack-smack.

I cry aloud with every blow again—and I can’t stop the tears from falling. Pain is creeping into my toenails, and also upward, toward my ankles. I nearly forget to count but manage a whisper.

“Four, five, six, and seven.”

Smack-smack-smack.

Another rapid succession—again, Ryo is hitting me very hard today—much harder than I remember, or else my nerves are completely fried from the heat and aphrodisiacs. Tears are falling freely, and I am crying now. I manage to sob through the count, though, my fear and anxiety nearing a critical level.

“Eight, nine, ten.”

I am _afraid_ of Ryo. I feel him hovering behind me, and then I feel his hands—both of them—stroking my ass, his fingers slipping dangerously between my cheeks. Only yesterday when he’d touch me like this after a beating, it would feel good—a tender touch after something so brutal. Today, however, I feel bile rising in my throat. It feels disgusting. I want his hands off of me, and I don’t know what to do without showing impertinence.

“You handled that very well, Mikage,” Ryo whispers in my ear, which is also revolting. Earlier today when the silver cat would do the same thing, I recall the pleasure with which his voice seemed to sink into my heart, even—not just into my ears—and his honesty and gentleness was refreshing. Ryo’s voice whispered, in the same way, feels intrusive and nasty—exactly like an unwelcome touch—and I shudder violently in response.

“Ho? Your response has changed. Do you find yourself more sensitive today?” Ryo asks.

I nod my head slowly. I am terribly sensitive, and I keep my body low to the ground—almost pressed flat—and not just to avoid the cane. It’s meant to keep myself as far from him as I can. I can sense his desire to dominate and humiliate me in some other way.

“It may be that the aphrodisiacs have extended your heat a little longer for this season. I will keep giving them to you since they make you more pliable and compliant. If a compatible cat were to see you like this, more than likely, he would also enter rut, even a second time. You seem to have that gift.”

Is it a gift?

“I know what you’re thinking. You may feel hot and uncomfortable now—but the first time you’re fucked while you’re _not_ in heat, you will remember these times fondly, I assure you. It’s _nothing_ like being in heat.”

Another shudder runs through me. I need Rai to come back _tonight_. A few tears slip down my face. I will not survive here. I know I will not survive this place.

“Come, let’s take you to the girls.”

Dragging me to my feet by my collar, I find it difficult to stand, much less walk, so he throws me unceremoniously over his shoulder instead.

“Quite possibly, I overdid your feet. But I don’t want you getting any ideas that you can run from here.”

It’s almost as though he knows what I was thinking. I suppress the shudder going through my body, relax, and allow this “care” of his. Although, those wandering fingers on my ass and at the base of my tail are extremely unpleasant—even with the aphrodisiac on board. I feel utter revulsion. 

“Ladies, do your best with him—like yesterday. I want him to be as beautiful as yesterday, only no stage lighting will be required. And why not use this on him today as well?”

He hands one of the young women a bottle. It looks like lotion.

“But Ryo, the poor thing is already suffering—from heat, and it looks to me like you’ve dosed him again. I can see it in his eyes.”

“I want him pliant and obedient for this evening’s client.” With those words, he leaves me in their hands.

I’m kneeling on the floor on a cushion like I was yesterday, and the grooming begins.

Several of the females try to engage me in conversation, praising my performance, saying how well I’ve done, and how wonderful it is that I’ve managed to please my first client.

“I couldn’t please my first client, no matter what I did!”

“I may have pleased him, but he did not leave a tip.” 

“I still can’t believe you received three silver coins, Mikage! Even if he spent the night with you, he still spent a lot of money on your purchase. What did you do for him? Perhaps you can teach me?”

Their soft voices are soothing, their hands feel cool against my skin. My hair is combed, my fur is brushed till it shines, but there is no makeup for me this evening. That lotion is applied liberally to my chest and shoulders—one of the girls spends extra time massaging it into my neck and shoulders, and then spreads it over the rest of my body, and it really feels good. 

However, when my outfit for the evening is being selected, I realize my heart is thumping loudly in my ears, my body is hot, and I’m aching again.

“Could it be—you’re still in heat, Mikage?” 

“You smell so good—perhaps we can ask Ryo to borrow you for this evening instead.”

“I can’t believe he even paid ahead of time—you really must have pleased him if he’s coming back tonight.”

My ears twitch. _What was that?_ What did she just say?

“What did you say?” I look up sharply, meeting Mana’s gaze. “The silver cat is coming back tonight?”

“Yes—didn’t Ryo tell you? What a jerk—please don’t let him know I spilled the beans. We all heard him singing your praises in the lobby this morning when he left.”

“What did he say?”

“Well, he said you pleased him very much, that no discipline was required, and that you should be allowed to rest as long as you liked today. He paid extra, I believe, to make that happen, and to ensure that you’d be fed a decent meal.” 

I don’t know what to say.

“He also said he’s planning to be in town for the next three days and would like to spend as much of that time with you as possible.”

“Also, he said that no one else should touch you or harm you—and that you should receive a reward for your performance.” 

“He basically threatened the owner and Ryo that if his orders weren’t followed—if he found out that you had been given to another cat—he would be very displeased.”  
  
“I’ve never seen the two of them so upset, but they wanted his money and promised your next three days with him.”

I breathe a sigh of relief—plus the effects of the lotion are kicking in—it smells good—a little minty. Could it be infused with catnip?

“I don’t blame you—I wouldn’t have to fake it if someone like that were my regular! He was very attractive—if a little scary.”

“What’s he like in bed?” 

“Um,” I say. “I don’t really have anything to compare it to.”

“Aww, you’re blushing! It must have been good! Was he gentle? He doesn’t look like he’d be the gentle type. He looks like he’d just take what he wants.”

“No!” I respond almost hotly. “It wasn’t like that at all. He was very kind to me. I think I may have… liked it.”

“Ho? You’re starting to see why we’re in business here, then! But not all our clients are like that. Sometimes we get someone who is hard to please or unpleasant—but now that you have _him_ as your first experience, you can always fantasize about him when you’re in bed with someone less pleasant. That’s what most of us do, anyway.”

“You do?”

“Yes—we just think of the best lays we’ve ever had—and that makes it quite pleasurable.”

“Would you—dress me in something that flatters me? I want to look my best,” I ask shyly, looking down at my hands, my tail swishing back and forth.

“Of course—how about this?” The girl is holding up another robe—this one also silk but in shades of royal blue. It’s gorgeous.

“That’s perfect!”

“I think it’s his favorite color—he’s usually dressed in black and this shade of blue. It makes his gorgeous eye stand out so well. And it will flatter you, too.”

I’m given another pair of underwear as well, different from the ones I wore yesterday—these have a more relaxed fit. I haven’t seen this kind before. They are a soft, pale blue—which remind me of the silver cat’s eye.

“Those are called boxers. They should be comfortable for you.”

The robe is tied with a silver obi, after being draped lowly around my neck and shoulders. I still need a little assistance walking, though I find I can stand all right now.

My anxiety is relieved, knowing that Rai is coming back tonight—I was afraid of having to spend the night with one of the devils (or all of them)—and I start to relax. The scent of the catnip in the lotion and the aphrodisiac are having strange effects, but the catnip seems to help my pain.

“Let’s get some of this on your poor little feet,” Mana says, grabbing the bottle. “I can’t believe he beat you again, even after your performance last night! I know you made this brothel more money than they’ve ever seen.” 

The lotion burns a little, though I have no broken skin on my feet, and it helps almost immediately. I’m given another pair of black geta, these slightly lower, and Sayuri teases me about how I walk in them. She gives me a little lesson.

“Swing your hips a little more when you walk,” she says. “And walk in a straight line, as though you were on a tightrope.”

“My hips don’t work like yours do,” I say, slightly discouraged.

“Maybe not, but you do have a nice shape,” Mana says. “Look at your waist when compared to your hips. It’s not like a male’s at all.”

What’s that supposed to mean? She thinks I’m feminine?

“I don’t mean to insult you. I mean—I think you’d be very interesting in the bedroom. I bet you’re quite flexible as well.”

“Well, thankfully you’re still in heat. I have a hard time with Setsurans when they visit my chamber,” Sayuri says. 

This is awfully personal and graphic, and I find myself blushing again. It occurs to me that this is business for these strong women. It’s only business talk. 

“You keep blushing,” Mana pinches the tip of my nose. “It’s very sweet.”

“I’ll bring you back upstairs,” Sayuri says. “Look at yourself in the mirror. See—you’re glowing—from yesterday.”

The reflection staring back at me must be me. My hair looks very pale—almost silver—in this outfit. And the girls are right—the cool colors of blue and silver really bring out the gold in my eyes. But that cat standing there, mimicking my every movement—that _cannot_ be me. He looks so different from how I see myself. He looks rather sexy, I think, and even attractive. I would turn my head if I saw a cat like that on the street. It’s strange. 

“Good sex does that for you,” Mana adds. “It’s great for your complexion—and now you’re blushing even more.” She laughs lightly, pressing her nose to my shoulder. The intimate gesture of friendship surprises me—the last person to do this to me was Tokino. It makes my eyes tear up. 

“Oh, now, don’t cry,” Mana says, kissing my cheek. “Though you actually look quite stunning when you cry, too—which must be rather unfortunate for you. Good luck again tonight—though you won’t need it.”

Sayuri takes the lead and heads upstairs, back to the same room as last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Konoe wakes, a little sad and lonely to find that Rai is gone. Ryo comes to bring him food and then has Sayuri bring him to the bath.
> 
> After bathing, Konoe is given an "inspection" by Ryo, and also additional aphrodisiacs. Ryo canes his tail and his feet--this modified punishment is a "reward" for his good behavior.
> 
> Then Konoe is brought back to the girls for grooming and an outfit. Sayuri brings him back upstairs once he is dressed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: references to prior beatings and abusive treatment, consensual blow-job.

I’m waiting in the room—alone—for Rai, the silver cat. I know he will be here soon. He has booked a second evening with me, though Ryo refused to tell me, hoping to provoke my anxiety.

Honestly, I’m feeling a little strange.

The aphrodisiac I was given is certainly working. The more I think of the silver cat, the more I remember our interactions last night, the more I crave his touch, his scent, the feel of his silky hair gliding over my skin, his everything.

However, he is coming to break me out of here tonight. I know that. But how? How will we escape? I can barely walk after the beating to my feet, which are red and swollen. And my balance is off slightly because of the beating to my tail. 

I don’t know what to do. Perhaps we should wait for another night instead? I don’t want to become his burden. 

I’m feeling anxious. How will he manage this? 

Right now, I am kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed, my sore tail wrapped around me. I tried grooming it a bit earlier, but it didn’t help. It’s throbbing in time to the beat of my heart, just like my feet. 

I hear footsteps approaching—two sets. The quiet set must be his. I think I detect his scent. But I keep my face lowered submissively because I recognize the other set as Ryo’s.

The door swings open, and I keep my eyes submissively pointed to the floor, but I cannot repress a quiet sigh of relief— _palpable_ relief—when I smell Rai’s strong, clean, comforting scent. I think I hear him make a sound when he sees me—a soft purring sigh. Is he glad to see me?

“He has been fed and well-treated?” Rai’s low voice asks.

“He has, and he has bathed and is clean,” Ryo replies. “He is ready for anything, sir. I must say, you have a way with him. You are welcome back anytime to continue his training.”

“Like I said, no discipline was required,” and I startle a little when I feel Rai’s large hand on my ears. He approached me without making a sound, though I’m _sure_ I heard his footsteps in the hallway. Perhaps my heart was thumping too loudly in my ears for me to appreciate his quiet movement in the room. “I’m sure we won’t have any problems tonight, either, will we?”

“No, sir,” I reply, shocked to hear a definite purr in my voice.

“Mikage, behave yourself tonight like you did last night. It’s the highest honor to receive a second request from the same client, you realize. Your value has decreased, yet he has chosen you just the same.” That condescending voice irritates me. Who is _he_ to talk about my _value_?

However, I bow my head and lower my torso to the ground.

“I am honored by your presence. I thank you, sir,” my purring voice continues. I sound downright sexy if I do say so myself.

I think Ryo is even shocked by my behavior and the sound of my professional voice.

“Enjoy yourself, sir, and thank you for your business.” He closes the door, and I don’t even look at him once.

“This color suits really you,” Rai says, his voice still quiet, but slightly lighter. “You can get up if you like.”

I lift my face to the silver cat, but I remain on the floor.

“You didn’t wake me when you left. You didn’t even say _goodbye_ ,” I say—and I realize even with my voice sounding the way it does, I still sound like I am accusing him.

Rai looks surprised. He replies in an even gentler tone, reaching out to my ears once again. I wonder if he really likes my ears.

“I said I’d return, didn’t I? And I’m here now. You were sleeping so soundly—I thought you needed your rest. And I did whisper to you. Didn’t you have another dream about me?” 

I look at him a little desperately, unsatisfied with those excuses.

“I was afraid you might never come back.” I look away, hiding the tears that spring unbidden to my eyes, surprising me.

“Didn’t you believe me? You need to trust me,” Rai brushes my ears again, softly. “I do not like unfinished business. And like I said, you have something special that I need, but I will tell you about that later.”

He tugs my chain softly, urging me to sit next to him on the bed.

“Come.”

I wince in spite of myself when I get to my feet—and he notices, his face immediately darkens.

“What is this.” It is not a question, his voice dropping to an icy tone. “I said you were to be treated _well_. I _demanded_ it.”

I’m suddenly pulled into the larger cat’s lap, and he takes a closer at one of my swollen feet. “Your _feet_? The soles of your _feet_? What possible reason…?”

“It’s so I do not run. And to keep me submissive and so I do not feel above my station. Also, so you would not notice. I should not be walking much in this room, after all. You should be keeping me on my back, after all.” My joke—which is more a hint and a request, than a joke—goes undetected.

“What else? What _else_ did they do to you?” 

“My tail,” I say.

“Wounds there would not show, I suppose, if they beat you there since your fur is so dark. Does it hurt?” He interrupts himself to stroke my tail, and sure enough, immediately finds the middle of my tail that has been beaten so severely. “And you have you been medicated again, for my sake?”

I look up at that pale blue eye—I could drown in it. He is beautiful, and he smells amazing.

“How can you tell?” I ask.

A sly smile appears on his lips.

“Your voice. You do not hide your feelings well. I will see what I can do about that.”

My heart makes a sudden leap into my mouth when I hear those words, taking me by surprise. He _does_ desire me—and more than just my ears.

“You smell delicious. But first, I think we should get you away from here. I’m considering changing my plans, however, because they did not follow the letter of the law I laid down. A cardinal sin in my book. I am so sorry you had to suffer. I realize you were not safe here, but I did what I could to keep you as safe as possible. But you have made enemies here, more than you realize. From your appearance, you look like you have made friends as well. You look and smell good enough to eat. I would like to take you right now, Konoe.” 

He is calling my true name. I don’t know if it’s the aphrodisiac or the remaining heat in my body, but hearing him say my name—in that soft, sexy voice—it makes my heart race.

“However, we should take you out of here first, I think. And I shall stick to the original plan. If you like, I will come back and kill your handler and the owner. But if I do that, any friends you have made may be without protection. And at this point in Sisa, I’m not sure that is a good thing. Let’s think about it tomorrow. _After_ we deal with your medication issue.”

He takes something out of his pack—it looks like a small metal-working tool.

“Be very still for a moment,” he says, and I obey. I hear a quick metallic snap. I will hear that sound in my dreams for the rest of my life. It is the sound of _freedom_.

My collar still feels heavy around my neck, but the chain falls lifeless into my lap. He has broken my chain with a single clip.

“So—you cannot walk?”

“I _will_ walk,” I insist.

Ignoring my words, “How about climb? Can you climb?” Rai nods toward the window, wrapping a hood he’s pulled from his pack around my shoulders, fastening it in front. He pulls it up and covers my ears. I feel a little bit like a doll, looking up at him rather shyly while he dresses me.

“I will try.”

“If you slip, try to slip directly _over_ me, so I can catch you—or better yet, may I carry you? I won’t worry so much then.” 

Not waiting for my reply, Rai scoops me up in one of his arms and heads to the window, putting his free hand on the window sill. Before I can even protest, he takes a leap over the side and then holds me tightly against him once we drop over the side. Never, _ever_ would I make a leap like that from a second story window— _especially_ not with another cat in my arms. My stomach is left somewhere on the second floor.

But he lands on his feet easily, going into a crouch, holding me bridal style in both arms. He stands back up—and underneath my buttocks, I can feel his thigh muscles flexing firmly—they are the reason he was so easily able to jump from that height. The hood not only covers my ears, but also my collar. No one is on the street, and no one saw us escape. It’s rather impressive. Maybe white cats really are lucky!

This is the first time I have been outside in a long while—and the evening breeze is brisk and cool. I’d love to pull down the hood and have the cool breeze ruffle through my hair, but Rai is smart to cover up my unusual color. A tall pure white cat carrying a small black cat would be an unusual sight—someone would surely remember it.

Rai walks casually from the brothel—he does _not_ run—weaving through both deserted alleys and the crowded streets—it’s a long walk. All in all, it lasts over half an hour. I get a little tired—but that isn’t why I snuggle my head against his chest almost immediately. It's so I can listen to the sound of his calmly beating heart and inhale his comforting scent.

We finally arrive at a small, obscure building labeled “Inn,” that is backed up on the outskirts of town. An inn? We’re staying at an inn? Isn’t that a little obvious? 

He walks into the lobby without saying a word and continues straight upstairs to the second floor. I can hear other cats enjoying themselves in the dining room as we pass through the lobby. He opens the door at the end of the hall and places me on a bed in the room. He sets me down gently, as though I am something precious. The inn is clean and cozy, with a lamp lighting up the small space. I shy away from the fire at once, since I don’t like fire, but I try my best to ignore it.

I watch him as he starts to remove his gear and his boots.

He returns my gaze and says, “We should be safe here for a few days, if you can keep your black fur and markings out of sight. It may seem obvious to search for you at inns, but it will be the _last_ place they expect us. We will visit the shaman first thing in the morning—I spoke to your ginger friend, who knows of one in the woods who can tell the future, supposedly.”

“You met with Tokino?” I’m surprised.

“It’s his metal-working equipment, in fact. We also need to get that collar off you, as lovely as it is and as much as it suits you.”

His voice has changed slightly, and he is drawing nearer now. I wonder—does he desire me as much as I desire him?

I feel him undoing the clasp on my hood, and he removes it carefully, almost reverently.

“How is your body?” The question is direct and very much to the point.

“Ah—I am fine,” I say.

“Don't you feel sore? I’ve heard even during the heat that the first time can be rough for males. I tried to do my best, and I tried to be gentle, but I fear I may have gotten slightly carried away,” Rai looks away—and the mannerism is so unusual for him—is he a little embarrassed? Shy? Vulnerable? It’s very strange to see him like this, and I cannot look away from him. I find it absolutely fascinating and completely endearing. It's cute.

He should be blushing, in fact—as a pale cat as he is—but for some reason, he does not. That makes it all the more interesting to me.

“Thank you for your concern,” I say, wanting to look away, too, once he meets my gaze directly once more.

“So—were you sufficiently prepared then, last night?” Rai asks again, his voice slightly lower.

I feel a flush in my cheeks. He was being so direct before. What is he _really_ asking now?

“Why are you asking? For future reference or for, um, my current status?”

I make sure to maintain my direct gaze when I ask.

“Might it be either? I do not wish to impose. And I don’t want you to feel obligated—not because I paid for your time nor because I came to your rescue.”

“I suddenly feel obligated to you for _both_ of those reasons,” I say, adding a little playful tone to my voice and a smile to my lips.

I reach out my hands to the silver cat’s face, who is hesitating before me.

“Did you forget that I was medicated earlier, specifically for _your_ enjoyment? It might be a mistake not to take advantage of it.”

“Perhaps,” Rai says, a soft purr now lacing his voice. “However, we have all the time in the world ahead of us. And there are many other ways we might deal with the… issue of medication, you realize.”

Actually, I can only think of _one_ , but it might be the medication talking.

“But if I am still suffering from the effects of the heat, wouldn’t it be a waste?”

“Are you?” Rai asks curiously. “Still suffering from the effects of heat?”

The way he asks—eagerly like that—makes my heart pound loudly in my ears. My hands reach out to stroke Rai’s small soft ears. He is kneeling before me—why? _Why_ is he kneeling? Why did he return for me? Why is he here with me now? Why is such a beautiful creature with _me_ now?  
  
“I think I might be—perhaps from overuse of medication,” I reply. 

“Or it could be, perhaps, how you have been treated before you went into heat,” Rai says, the purr in his voice taking on the slightly harder edge of a growl. “If you were handled—inappropriately—before your time, that can also affect the length of time you will be in heat. It can affect all kinds of things. I’m sure both the owners of that brothel and your handler knew this. I should very much like to pay them a little visit and ask why my instructions weren’t followed. I very much _dislike_ leaving unfinished business.”

Cold—like ice—the tone of his voice has dropped again. What would he do to them, I wonder? Kill them?

“Um, please don’t—not on my behalf, anyway. I’m much more concerned with this curse, and those devils. I don’t want those guys after me, too.”

“They won’t come after you—or if they do, it will only be _one_ time.” Rai sounds confident. His hands are softly stroking my thighs now. “You know—you _do_ still smell like you did yesterday—nothing but sweet to me, like honey. I could hardly think clearly on the way back to the inn. You’re _terribly_ distracting. However—I do not want to take advantage of you in this situation.” 

“But—what if that is exactly what _I_ want?” I press.

“I’m not entirely sure you know _what_ you want,” Rai answers, looking at my eyes again. “Perhaps I might solve the problem another way.”

I can’t imagine there would be another way that I would find acceptable. I look at him, and he smiles at me—his eye sparkles mischievously.

“Like I said earlier, you do not hide your emotions very well. You certainly do _not_ look pleased,” Rai says, his voice light and teasing, and he runs his hands through my hair—but it’s just another excuse to touch my ears. “Come, give it a try. If you don’t like it, we can do things your way, all right?”

I maintain my gaze and he returns it, eyebrows slightly lifted.

“You are terribly stubborn. Is _this_ why your handler thought discipline would be required?”

I click my tongue, looking away from the silver cat, and Rai laughs.

“Such _contempt_! You dare show such contempt for your rescuer and savior—to whom you now owe your very life?”

Immediately, I look back at Rai. I can’t tell how serious he is. However, his voice is very soft—and very sexy. 

“Did you not promise to be _mine_ in exchange for your freedom?”

My heart skips another beat in my chest. That fluttering feeling is so strange! It's unnerving. How is he making me feel like this?

“I did,” I answer. I meant it, too. 

“Do you still maintain that promise, or have you changed your mind after seeing your new surroundings?”

“This is fine,” I answer. I still mean it, but I’m a little nervous of being taken advantage of. 

“Ah, good. I had no idea what sort of lifestyle such a princess as yourself would expect,” his voice is soft, though—and when I turn my head, he is urging me to lie back. “Why don’t you just _try_ what I am suggesting? I promise it won’t hurt you. If you don’t like it, we don’t have to do it. Just let me know if you don’t like it, and I will stop.”

A princess like myself? He considers me a princess? What is that supposed to mean? I feel slightly offended.

Suspicious, I allow myself to be pressed back onto the mattress, and Rai begins to untie the obi around my waist, which is not what I was expecting.

“Wait—”

Rai waits, looking in my eyes.

“What are you—?”

“We are doing things _my_ way. I think it might be easier on your body—at least for today. And then, I won’t feel as though I’m taking advantage of you. Is that all right? Will you permit me to do this?”

 _Consent_ —he’s asking me for my consent again. It’s weird. Doesn’t he realize I’m nothing but a whore? He called me a princess, and he is sadly mistaken.

I nod, and I swallow the saliva in my mouth, and the tears that have gathered in the back of my throat.

“Close your eyes,” his soft voice suggests, and he appears suddenly at my ears, giving them a few gentle licks, urging me to relax. Instead, his touch makes me shiver with pleasure and anticipation.

I comply, however, and he finishes untying my obi and opening my robe, but he doesn't remove it from my shoulders. He runs his hands all over my body—up and down my sides along my waist, on my stomach and chest—and it feels good. His hands are warm—surprisingly warm—even though I feel hot and a little sweaty.

When his hands approach my lower half, I struggle to keep my hips flat on the bed, but they keep lifting up—I can’t help it. I am too eager, and I’m a little embarrassed by this.

I hear a slight chuckle from him—but it doesn’t sound mean. It sounds… excited. And that laugh comes from the wrong place. It _should_ come from close to my ears. But twitching my ears again to make sure, I realize his head is close to my lower half, and I sit up suddenly.

My eyes fly open in surprise.

“What are you doing? You don’t have to do this. _Please_ ,” I sound desperate and pleading.

“I know. I don’t feel like I _have_ to do anything. _Konoe_ ,” Rai says, pushing a hand against my chest gently. “Lie down and relax. Close your eyes. I am doing this because I want to. If you are going to be spending time with me, I thought perhaps you could use a good grooming—and perhaps I could put my scent on you, all right? Make you feel a little more comfortable? That’s all this is.”

Putting his scent on me? That’s what he is doing? Then his tongue dips into my navel, and I shiver uncontrollably—a sound leaks out of me that I completely fail to suppress. It sends tingling sensations up and down my spine, into my tail, making my fur fluff out in an instant. Rai notices this—and he starts rubbing the base of my tail with one of his hands.

“Um, the lamp—it’s still on. Isn’t it a little too bright in here?” I ask, lying back in the sheets, trying not to dig my claws in, though my heels are already rubbing against them, as though they too are trying to maintain a grip on reality.

“Why? Don’t you want to see? Oh—you _won’t_ , since your eyes will be obediently _closed_ ,” he continues speaking to me in between soft, languid, grooming licks of his tongue. It’s driving me a little bit crazy. “I need to make sure I cover every part of you—plus, I’d like to see what tonight’s efforts have bought me.”

That sounds like he’s teasing—but does he consider me _his_? His _what_? His whore? His property? His partner?

I rest the back of my hand against my forehead and cover my eyes and feel a flush in my cheeks. This is rather embarrassing—the fact that he can see me in the light—it causes me much confusion. Then I cover my face with both my hands.

“No,” Rai whispers, pulling at my elbow. “Don’t cover your face. I want to _see_.”

What? Is he serious?

I do move both hands for a moment—mostly because I’m surprised, and because I find it hard to disobey him when he speaks to me in that low, sexy voice. Didn’t he say something like that before? He wanted to hear my voice, didn't he?

But then, if I keep my eyes open, I can watch him, watching me—and I see his long tongue grooming me ever so slowly, so carefully, and he’s now grooming the soft fur below my belly and dropping even lower. I don’t know what to do with my hands, though—for now, I claw them into the sheets on either side of my body to keep myself from injuring him or myself. I don’t know how long I can watch him groom me like this. It’s too intimate. 

He seems to be watching my expression, however, and his ears twitch when I make a noise, and he goes back over the same spot if I make more noise or if my eyes close, I realize. He is responding to my expressions—and carefully. I wonder—is he memorizing what I like so diligently? Another shiver traverses my body when I think he might be doing just that.

I have to close my eyes when I feel his tongue on my hip bone, and his hand—the one that isn’t currently rubbing the base of my tail and making those strange sounds come out of me—drops a little lower and presses against my groin, over the silk of my boxers. A strange whine comes out of my mouth that I also can’t suppress, and I happen to see a flash of his ears twitching as my eyes close, and I realize again that he should _not_ be here with me. He could be with anyone he wanted—certainly, with any beautiful cat _without_ a curse. 

I feel tears burning my eyes when he touches me. It makes my chest ache, my heart thump loudly in my ears, my breathing goes all funny, and my stomach feels filled with butterflies. I try to bend my knees, but he is lying on top of my legs—however, he senses my muscles flexing, and he moves his large body slightly for a moment.

First, however, he slides my underwear down my legs, unthreading my tail from them as well—it feels soft and silky against the fur of my tail—even in the sore spot in the middle of my tail where I was beaten earlier—the silk fabric feels nice and cool. Then, he settles his large body between my spread legs, letting me bend my knees on either side of his body however I wish.

I’m still wearing my robe—he’s just taken off my underwear—yet I’m feeling very naked. It isn’t as though he hasn’t seen me before—and it isn’t like he hasn’t seen me this aroused. But I’m not sure he’s seen me this close up before. And I am feeling _some_ effects of the heat, and some effects of the medication—but not enough to make me completely comfortable before him. I’m embarrassed, and my tail starts to lash side to side, showing my discomfort.

This discomfort only lasts a moment, however—just until I feel his soft lips surround my dick. Then—any and all discomfort I have been feeling is completely overpowered with the pleasurable sensation of being completely engulfed by him. His mouth is warm—and I can feel his tongue lapping at me—even while inside his mouth—and I even feel the vibrations of his purr in the back of his throat.

I start purring even louder in response, and my tail starts to move back and forth much more slowly—contentedly. And Rai hums—which vibrates me to my very bones, making me shiver, sigh, and gasp loudly.

I didn’t realize how aroused I was—how close I was—till he actually takes me into his mouth. Feeling him like this—it’s almost too much—but it feels so good—and I love it. Is this what he feels like—when he is inside my body? It's overwhelming. The connection is so intimate.

My ears are twitching—I realize it’s gotten awful noisy in this room, and with embarrassment, I realize the gasping sighs that are filling the air are all coming from _my_ mouth. I try to stop or at least quiet myself, but I cannot. I cannot control or restrain my voice. I can’t slow down—because _he_ is not slowing down.

Understand—it isn’t just my body that is heating up like this. Something inside my heart—inside my soul—is heating up, too. I feel a special kind of care, someone doing something to me with the specific intent to _care_ for me, to take care of a physical need I have—and he is doing this selflessly. I don’t quite understand the meaning of this act, and it brings tears to my eyes.

That sensation I felt, last night, just before my second climax, it starts to well up inside my body once more. I can now identify it as a warm feeling—it feels like a light glowing in my body from within—and it has a meaning. It feels like _affection_ , affection directed specifically toward the silver cat caring for me in this way.

It isn’t that he is taking care of me, specifically—not necessarily that—but that he is physically _here_ , that he is _with me_ , that he has _chosen_ to be with me, despite my curse, despite everything I am and all the baggage I bring with me. He is making me feel so _special_.

I want to tell him I feel this way, and instead of words, this warmth comes out of my body. It starts in my body’s core—almost in my stomach—and then radiates out into my bones. I can even feel a melody vibrating in the small bones of my fingers and of my tail. And then it spreads even more—into the flesh and into my skin and even enough to ruffle my fur, making it bristle fully.

The melody doesn’t care that I am a cursed cat—that my fur is black, that I have these four markings on my body, that I have been abused at the hands of cruel handlers at a brothel, or that I was sold. All it cares about is getting _out_ of my body and into the ears, sinking into the heart, of the silver cat between my legs.

When I open my eyes just a little, tendrils of light are floating in the air, connecting my body to his. I lift up my fingers and the slim strands of light seem to float like golden strands of hair—and make their way directly to Rai, surrounding him with a warm soft glow. 

His eyes fly open—he can hear my song—he is experiencing it—and I think I can hear his response. 

 _What is this warmth? Is this for me? You would sing for me?_ He speaks without words.

 _Yes. I am singing for you._ I have a soft smile on my face, and I feel myself approaching my limit now—and I relax—into the song, into his touch, into the warmth I feel inside me and surrounding me. 

Over the edge, past the point of no return, my own gasping sighs blend in with my body’s melody, and I feel an explosion in my hips—a release of pleasure so great that it jerks my body up off the mattress and makes my tail freeze its movement. I climax while still surrounded by Rai's soft, warm mouth, his plush lips around the base of my cock, his tongue pressing into my slit. The relaxation, relief, and release that follows is only natural, and I sigh at the feeling flowing through my limbs—listening to the melody that is still settling in the air—and I feel Rai gently licking me, then moving to lick the fur below my navel, making me shiver and tremble, as he pulls himself up to me for a kiss.

He tastes a little salty and surprisingly, a little sweet. He swallowed my release—I am tasting a little of myself, which freaks me out a little—and he smiles when he pulls away. I hear my song fading—quietly—leaving me quite exhausted. And the light fades, too, leaving the lamp light the only light in the room.

“You’re not bad—kind of sweet, even,” he says, keeping his soft smile while he brushes the hair from my face. “I wonder—do they consider that when they created your diet at the brothel? Perhaps we should keep you on the same sort of food.”

The thought astounds me—and the fact that he would say such a thing out loud. I can’t even look at him now for the blush on my face. Instead, he pulls me against him and grooms my ears.

“So, did you like it? Did you like _my way_ of solving your problem? Perhaps you might trust me in the future?”

“Yes,” I reply shyly.

“Enough for you to _sing_ to me—using your full voice this time. I loved it. What I wanted to tell you, earlier, that thing you have that I need—Do you know—you are a Sanga, Konoe?”

His words hang in the air for a moment before I can bring myself to reply. 

“What? That can’t be true,” although right after the words come out of my mouth, I realize that song wasn’t a normal song. I don’t know _what_ it was.

“Perhaps that was the first time you’ve sung. I’m a Touga, and I can sense these things. You will be _my_ Sanga, won’t you? Will you sing only for me?”

“Of course,” I reply, unsure. I would do _anything_ for you, I think, after what he just did for me.

“Would you, now?” Rai purrs.

Ah! I didn’t mean to blurt my thought out loud! I’m embarrassed.

“Oy, your ears are hot now. Are you ill?”

“N-no. Just—I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

“Why not? Was it a lie?”

I pause for a moment. “No.”

“Then why not say it out loud? Are you afraid I might take advantage of you? Have you not realized that I could indeed take advantage of you whenever I wish?” I can feel his lips smiling against my ears, however, when he says these words.

After a short pause, I ask, “Why are you here?”

“What do you mean? I said I would come for you, didn’t I?”

“That isn’t what I mean. What is a cat like you doing with someone like me? I’m cursed. I’m little. I'm plain. You’re strong and beautiful. You could have anyone.”

I can feel his teeth against my ears, now—a full smile, a grin perhaps?

“Konoe, you are strong and beautiful, too. I knew so the first time I ever laid eyes on you. Those guys tried to beat the will out of you, and they could not. You have a strength unlike any I have seen. Plus…”

He licks my ears again.

“I’m rather partial to these oversized ears of yours. Now, sleep. You have exhausted yourself.”

“My ears are _normal_. Yours are too small,” I murmur quietly.

Almost as if to irritate me, Rai slips my robe off my shoulders. I am paralyzed—from singing my song, perhaps? But I cannot defend myself—leaving me naked on the bed. He strips off his shirt and his trousers and slips back into bed with me, pulling my body close to his—this time, crushing me against his chest, so as much of our skin is touching as possible. He wraps his warm fluffy tail across my back like a blanket to keep me warm. It feels so nice.

“Much better,” Rai says. “Be still, now, and sleep.”

He can leisurely groom my ears in this position as well, since my head is right at his mouth level. He is warm, though, and I feel safe. Safer than I have felt in a long time—probably safer than I should be feeling, considering I have just escaped a brothel and four devils may be pursuing me. 

I fall into a gentle, sound sleep in his arms while his tongue lulls me to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rai returns to the brothel with a metal-working tool and a hood (to cover Konoe's ears). He cuts the chain and escapes through the window with Konoe, carrying him through the streets of Ransen. They spend the night at an inn on the edge of town where Rai has rented a room.
> 
> Rai is pretty upset to find out Konoe has been beaten--despite his warnings, payment, and requests to the brothel owner. He suggests going back--he hates "unfinished business," after all, but Konoe is more concerned about the curse than the brothel at this point. Plus, he doesn't want the girls left without anyone to care for them.
> 
> The plan is to see a shaman the next day about Konoe's curse and to get that collar removed somehow--probably Tokino can help with it. The more immediate plan is to deal with Konoe's medication issue--he has been dosed with aphrodisiac again, and Rai feels a little bad about taking advantage of him. So he has another idea, and again, oddly for Sisa, asks for Konoe's consent to try something different.
> 
> He gives Konoe a blow-job, which Konoe enjoys very, very much--so much, in fact, that it brings out his Sanga song. (I know, I know--I just couldn't help it, but I need to reward Rai for good behavior, too.) Rai tells Konoe he is a Sanga, and Konoe has a hard time believing it. He goes to sleep in Rai's arms, feeling exhausted and safer than he should, considering the devils are after him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe wakes the next morning and Rai is out.
> 
> He gets dressed, meets Bardo and gets breakfast and gets his wounds treated. A much-needed short filler chapter here.

I wake late the next morning. Rays from the moon of light are pouring into the window for the second day in a row. I stretch my body long and lean on the soft bed—my arms and legs, my tail, even my ears—and I feel surprisingly well-rested. 

In the light, I realize I don’t recognize the room I’m in, and I’m flooded with anxiety as the sleepiness clears my head.

_Where am I?_

I’m alone in this room. There is a single large bed in here, a small table and two chairs, a large barrel of water with a mirror hanging above it; the room is sparse but clean. My robe is folded neatly on the seat of one of the chairs. My underwear is on top, also neatly folded. I see a hood as well—and then I remember.

I’m at an inn. I’m _free_! Rai helped me to escape the brothel last night. 

I climb down from the bed—my body feels slightly sluggish, and my feet are still pretty sore where they have been caned. My mouth is a little sore, especially on the lower left—but I won’t think about that, so I push the memory of the lime green puff of hair and creepy black mask out of my mind. My left pinky is throbbing, and my palms are tender, and I have no shoes. But if I walk on my toes, it’s bearable. 

First, I get a drink from the barrel of water and use a little to wash my face. It’s nice to be able to care for myself again.

Where is Rai? Did he perhaps go downstairs? I still feel the heavy weight of the collar around my neck when I walk over to my clothes to get dressed. It feels strangely heavy today. The caning marks on my back, thighs, and butt hurt when I put on my underwear—how long are these going to hurt, I wonder?

Should I wear the hood inside the inn? I wrap the robe around myself as best as I can and slip on the hood to cover my black ears. My markings show if I lift my arms and the sleeves of the robe slide up. But if I’m careful, they won’t show. 

I wander out of the room and down the stairs, and the comforting, warm smell of food drifts into my nostrils. Sitting behind the reception desk is the huge striped tiger cat who was with Tokino at the auction. I’m surprised to see him, and I freeze in place on the staircase. 

“Oh? Are you finally awake? Did you sleep well?” He looks up and me and smiles. “You and Rai are my only customers today. Everyone else checked out after the festival ended the day before yesterday. You don’t have to wear the hood inside. It’s okay. We are all your friends here. Come on down and I’ll get you some breakfast. Come now.” He gets up from behind the desk, motioning me to follow him with a flick of his tail. His voice is low and friendly but filled with an almost fatherly authority. He expects me to obey.

I’m feeling a little timid. Is he the innkeeper here? He doesn’t look like an innkeeper to me. He is too broad in the chest and shoulders for an innkeeper, I think. However, defying him might be a mistake, so I decide to obey. 

I follow him into what appears to be a dining room. 

“Have a seat, little one.” He motions to a bench. “I cook everything here myself, and we are known for our excellent meals. Let’s get some food in that flat belly of yours. It sounded like you worked up an appetite last night.” 

I feel a blush in my cheeks—he _heard_ us? Gods, he heard _me_? I certainly made no efforts to control my voice last night! Ugh—how embarrassing! 

I sit down gingerly on the bench, bending one leg underneath my body like a pillow. It hurts less to sit on my leg than on the bench alone. I look down at my hands in my lap, and when he brings a tray out, setting it down in front of me, I feel his hands stroking my ears softly. It’s a friendly gesture, but it startles me and I flinch.

“Oh, now—don’t be scared. This is a friendly place, little one. My name is Bardo. I’m so glad you’re out of that place—it was no place for a kid like you. What should I call you?”

“Mi—“ I stop for a moment.I almost introduced myself as Mikage! I’m ashamed, although it makes sense since up till yesterday, I would have been beaten if I’d used my real name. I clear my throat and look directly at the tiger cat. “I’m Konoe. I’m a cat from Karou. But I cannot go back there anymore.”

“I see. Your friend Tokino told me. Quite a mess you’ve gotten yourself into. However, you’ve found yourself quite an enthusiastic ally.” Bardo smiles, adding one more word in a sigh. “Finally.” 

“You mean Rai?” I ask. I wonder what he means. I wasn’t in the brothel for long—not much longer than a week. So is he referring to Rai with that “finally”?

“Yeah. I’ve known him since he was a kid—I was friends with his parents, and I taught him how to use a sword long ago. He’s out right now looking for a way to get that collar off of your neck. He wanted you to stay put, asked me to feed you and check out your injuries, treat what I can.” 

“My injuries?” I hesitate a little. 

“I saw you limping down the stairs. I know they beat you at the brothel. Let me look at you after you eat.”

“Um, okay.” I’m a little nervous. I hope he’s just talking about my feet.

The food is really good. I really like it—I mean, the food at the brothel was tasty, too—but it didn’t taste _anything_ like this. Bardo’s food tastes homemade, made with love, and it’s like I can tell he wants those who eat it to feel _good_ —and I haven’t had anything like this since Mom was alive. It gives me a nice nostalgic feeling. And then there’s this delicious juice with a sweet and sour taste, made of kuims which I love, too.

I eat till I’m full—trying to remind myself that I don’t need to stuff myself. Bardo comes back (I could hear him washing up in the kitchen) to clear my plate. I stand up to help, and he pushes me back to the bench. 

“No, no. You sit and relax. It sounds like you’ve had a rough week. I’ll bring my stuff if here if you like. No one else is here—except Rai should be coming back, and that won’t bother you, will it, if he comes in?”

“N-no,” I say, slightly hesitant again. I’m very worried about which injuries he’s planning to treat—which ones he knows about. How much has Rai told him, how much did he see when he was at the brothel? I try to remember _when_ he saw me there, and I was probably naked when he saw me. But it would be different if I was in the cage or in the indecent contraption...

“All right.” Bardo clears the dishes and returns with what looks like a medical kit and water in a bucket. “Let me see your feet. What is this?! Did they use a cane?”

I feel the tips of his fingers on the soles of my feet, brushing along the lines left by the cane, and they are still sore, even though he is gentle. I try not to flinch. He uses a clean cloth to wash my feet, using tender motions—it doesn’t hurt, which shocks me. That such a large cat would be capable of such a soft touch surprises me. 

“To keep you from running, I bet,” he murmurs. “I’ve got some salve, too. This should calm down those marks and help them heal.”

He takes out a jar and dabs a tiny amount on my feet, and it _burns_. I cry out in pain, snatching my foot out of his hand, and he flicks his ears up in surprise.

“Ow!” I cry out, looking at him angrily. 

“Oh—I’m so sorry—did that hurt you? This really _shouldn’t_ hurt—it shouldn’t burn at all, it should actually even help numb your pain. Unless, did they put something else on your skin, maybe something to make the marks stand out?” His voice darkens a little when he asks.

Tears are flashing in my eyes, and I say, “Yes. They did. After each softening, R-” I can’t even say my handler’s name. I don’t want to acknowledge him! “—he would finish the session with that horrible cream, which would burn and make the welts stand out more—making them redder. Even if I could lick them, it wouldn’t help them feel any better.”

“‘Softening’? That’s what he called it?” Bardo asks.

I just look at him.

“It wasn’t meant to punish you?”

“Well, I was punished also, but I was beaten regardless of how I behaved.” More tears well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over.

“Listen, Konoe. I know this is going to hurt. But if I put this on your skin, it will burn at first and then it will soothe you. Rai isn’t going to cane you. I’m _sure_ of that. But I’m also sure he wants these wounds treated. And that’s what this is supposed to do. Do you think you can let me put this stuff on your wounds, even if it hurts?” 

I just look at him for a moment.

“You’d be doing it for Rai, you know.” 

I nod my head, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. Rai _saved_ me. And I can do that for him—if he wishes it. 

“Let’s try this. Do you want me to give you something for pain? It might make you feel a bit weird, though.”

“Weird? How?” I do not want it to be anything like those aphrodisiacs I’d been given, that’s for sure.

“Well, you’re a little guy, so it might make feel a little loopy.”

“But it won’t be like the stuff they gave me at that place?”

“You were given drugs there, too?”

“Yes—I-I think to mimic the symptoms of heat. I hated it—I don’t want that! I’d rather be in pain than go through that again!” It was humiliating—I remember what I did to Ryo rather vividly, in fact, with terrible embarrassment. 

“Oh? Did they give you an aphrodisiac? My gods, you’re only sixteen, aren’t you? Isn’t that how old you said you were or were going to say you were when I asked?”

“Yes,” I reply quietly. 

“This is not anything like that. This stuff comes from poppy, not from catnip. The only thing—I’m not too sure about your dose since you’re so small. Do you know how much you weigh?” he asks, getting a brown glass bottle, and shaking it up. After I shake my head, he pours a sticky-looking liquid into a small cup, measuring carefully, and hands it to me to drink. “Also, it tastes bitter, but it will work. Just do your best, okay? Drink it all.”

It is bitter. 

“Good boy. Now, let’s see those feet. Don’t worry about hurting me. If you accidentally kick me, I’ll be all right,” Bardo says. “I’m sure this is going to sting. Take a deep breath.” 

I obey, taking a deep breath, when the edges of my vision start to blur and the bench starts to shake slightly. I claw the table with my hands suddenly, my tail lashing.

“Oy, is it working?” 

“Um, it feels like the bench is moving...” my voice sounds funny as it trails off.

“Wow—that was fast! I hope I didn’t give you too much, kitten. You doing okay?”

Bardo dabs the cream on the sole of my foot, and the burning sensation starts immediately, creeping up into my ankle, all the way to my knee. At first, I want to scream in pain, but then—but it gets better quite quickly, a tingling, numbing sensation flooding in right afterward.

“Is that tolerable?” He studies my face. 

“Mmm. Much better.”

Then, my right foot is attacked in the same way. Burning, stinging—then tingling and numbing. So weird.

“Good job, I know it hurts, just a little more and I’ll be done,” Bardo is speaking to me softly in a voice he might use if speaking to a wounded animal.

He releases my legs and watches me for a moment—and then he takes my left hand. 

“What’s happened here? What is this bandage?” 

I am still sniffling, and I say, “I had a claw pulled.”  
  
“You were declawed??”

“I scratched a customer.” 

“Let me see this.” Bardo immediately takes my hand. “Oh gods, your hands—they caned your palms, too? Jeez. You’re a mess! Did they put that ointment on your hands, too?”

Fresh tears come to my eyes when I nod. 

“Please—I think my hands will be all right just like this. They seem to be healing just fine on their own—” I start to feel weepy and scared.

“Konoe, you don’t want them to scar or get infected, do you?” 

“N-no,” I glance up at Bardo and stop trying to pull my wrist away.

He uses his other hand to gently wipe my tears. 

“Let me check out your claw and see if I can clean it up for you. We will change your bandage first, and then we will treat your palms, all right? I’m trying to _help_ you. The medicine will help you.” I watch as he starts getting stuff out of his bag—bandages, scissors, other small bottles, and herbs.

“Hey, let’s get you more comfortable, then,” he gently unhooks my claws from the bench, and lays me down on the bench, pulling my head into his lap, and I submit.

“Mmmm,” I make a small noise from Bardo’s lap. He smells nice—clean, but also like that nostalgic scent of food that I had for breakfast, and something that reminds me just a little of Rai’s scent, too. It’s strange. I’m very relaxed now, not worried anymore, even though my head is in the lap of a stranger. 

My eyes are mostly open and blinking slowly, staring up at Bardo’s face—he appears to be concentrating on something—I think he is removing the bandage from my pinky. From this angle, I can see he has a few silver hairs in his beard. Involuntarily, my right hand is drawn right to that beard, and I stroke it. I want to know—is it soft and silky, or is it scratchy? Huh—it’s a little of both.

I get his attention immediately, and he looks down at me in surprise. 

“What is it, little one? Are you starting to feel better? I’m glad. We will get you in shape before long.” He offers me a warm smile and takes a moment to brush my hair and my ears at the same time, flattening them against my head.

“Sparkly,” I murmur, talking about the silver in his beard.

He quirks an eyebrow, but I don’t say anymore, and already the bandage is undone. He inhales sharply when he sees the damage, looking at the damage pityingly and shaking his head.

“You’re just a child! How cruel! However, from what I can tell, it was a clean pull, and there is a small chance it may grow back. We will have to watch it closely.”

He disinfects my finger with some liquid from one of the bottles, and I flinch because it stings. But it certainly doesn’t hurt like it could have if I hadn’t been given that bitter stuff. Then he puts some herbs on it, which he chews up before applying, and bandages it carefully.

“Now, I’m going to treat these caning marks on your palms, all right?”

I try to pull my hand away, but he holds my wrist gently. 

“You’re all right,” he brushes my ears again. “Think of something pleasant, somewhere enjoyable that you would like to be right now and go there in your mind.”

Instantly Rai pops into my head. I would like to be in the forest—deep in the forest—with Rai, my head in his lap just like this. I can picture it, hear the sounds of the forest, the birds singing—romantic, just relaxing with him.

I feel a slight stinging sensation on my hands, but I am all right. Because here, with Rai, nothing can hurt me. 

I breathe evenly. 

“Good boy. You’re doing great. All done. What else did they do to you? Rai said one of your teeth? May I have a look?”

Obediently I open my mouth, showing him the empty space in my mouth. Strangely, I’ve already gotten used to that fang being missing.

“Ahh, ouch. That must have hurt. I’d like you to rinse with salt water several times each day, all right? I’ll prepare it for you while you are here.”

“Mmm-kay.” 

“You’re in no shape to do it now,” Bardo comments. “I noticed some other things as well. How is your tail?”

“Hurts.” 

“Do you mind if I check it for broken bones and other damage? I will be very careful.”

“Um, mm-kay,” I’m being surprisingly agreeable with that medicine on board. 

Bardo turns me to my side gently and lifts up my tail. My robe actually has a tail slit—to display it properly. It’s very sexy, but I wonder if robes usually have slits for tails. It feels weirdly provocative, plus sort of strange since my emotions are so obviously on display. I certainly have never personally owned any clothes like this.

Bardo gently runs his hands along my tail, checking each vertebra and all around the circumference, even in the fur. It feels very weird since he’s checking from the base to the tip.

I get a strange little shiver up into my spine, more than one that I can’t control. And now I’m thinking of Rai again.

“Has Rai been kind to you?”

“Oh, yes. He saved me, after all.”

“What I mean is—was he kind to you when you have been intimate?” 

“Oh.” That is a very personal question! I glance at Bardo quickly, but he is looking at my tail carefully. He meets my eye for a moment and smiles gently. But if he is like a father to Rai, then I suppose that’s okay for me to answer. He is checking in on him, I suppose. “Yes, he has been very gentle and kind. Much more than I deserve,” I state honestly. 

“Kitten, you deserve only the best treatment. You are young and have only just gone through your first heat, haven’t you? My question is—did he force himself on you?”

“No!” I’m horrified. “He had a right to, of course, since he paid so much for me, but he actually got my consent before he did anything more than kissing.” My voice is soft and dreamy when I remember that first evening we were together. “I thought there had been some kind of mistake.”

“I’m very glad to hear it. He seems rather taken with you—more than I’ve ever seen him taken with anyone before. How about last night? Did you feel obligated because he saved you?”

“Oh no, last night—he didn’t even—we didn’t—well, he did _something_ , only just for me,” I’m stammering, blushing, even in spite of the medication. I don’t want to spill the details, but I’m sure my blush gives it away.

“Did he now?” Bardo smiles. “That is good to hear. But he got your consent first?” 

“Oh, yes—and I wanted it _so_ much—and not just because of the stuff they gave me at that other place—I _love_ that silver cat!” The words just come spilling out of my mouth. “I just—I really _love_ him! He’s so _elegant_ and _pretty_  and _handsome_ —and _perfect_ —and he came back for me, just like he said he would—and he _saved_ me! I just _love_ him!” 

Bardo stops what he is doing, glances up, and then looks back at me. 

“Do you now? He’s needed someone _just like you_ in his life for a long time, little one,” he murmurs softly. 

Suddenly, I recognize a wonderful and familiar scent: my silver cat is back, and he’s in the room, I think. I can barely move, however, with that medicine Bardo gave me.

“What have you done to my Sanga?” His voice sounds so beautiful to me—it sinks into the depths of my ears, which are twitching toward the sound of his voice. It sounds like he is coming closer. But is he upset?

“Let’s see,” Bardo says. “I’ve fed him, gave him a little medicine since his wounds were so painful, treated the wounds on his feet, and then treated his declawed pinky—disinfected it and determined it may even grow back if we are careful, prescribed saltwater rinses for his mouth—and you’d best be careful with his mouth now—he is _sore_ —he had a fang pulled, did you know?” 

A small dissatisfied grunt comes from the silver cat who is now within my view, looking at my face, a worried expression in his eye—and his wonderful soft hair sweeps over me.

“And I treated his hands and tail as well. He has wounds, um, _elsewhere_ that you may want to treat, um, privately. Use this. Do it before the medication wears off, or it will hurt a lot more. 

Another dissatisfied grunt from the silver cat. Sounds like a huff of disdain or contempt.

“Were you able to find what you needed?’ 

“It’s none of your concern.”

“Actually, if you’re staying here, haven’t you _made_ it my concern? Isn’t the welfare of my guests _my_ concern?”

“Hmpf,” Rai responds. 

I don’t understand the coolness with which he is responding to Bardo, but his hands scoop me up, coming up under my body, under my back and my knees, and I’m suddenly in his arms, the world spinning again. But then, I’m pressed against Rai’s chest, and everything is okay again. Everything is right this way. 

“You’re all right,” he whispers, and I feel his nose nuzzling my ears, as he carries me out of the dining room and up the stairs, back to our bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short update. And I should have probably edited one more time—not so close to bedtime. I *might* have dropped off to sleep while posting this chapter, but I just wanted to finish it! Please forgive the typos and grammar mistakes my software doesn’t catch! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot development.
> 
> Summary at the end. Sorry it's been so long since the last update!
> 
> BTW: You may recognize the conversation between Rai and Konoe and the shaman. It's from the game--with minor modifications. I do not take credit for it.

I don’t remember a whole lot of what happens upstairs, but I’m pretty sure Rai treats the rest of my wounds, and it has to have been pretty painful. I’m sobbing by the time he’s finished, but the salve he uses does help, and I end up feeling tingly and numb—the stinging starts to fade.

I end up mostly naked on the bed, laying on his chest, with his arms around my back and his nose and mouth nuzzling my ears. I can hear him whispering to me softly.

“You did so well, Konoe. You were very brave. You are safe now. It’s all right. It’s okay.”

I feel very strange as that medication starts to wear off, but he keeps me in his arms.

“I think I found a tool to remove that collar from you, too. Let me know when you’re ready and we can get it off of you.”

“I want it off now,” I reply. I do. It’s heavy and annoying, and I want to be free. No—wait. Not _free_. I want to feel like I am _his_. Am I his? Will he leave me if I don’t have this collar? I don’t know and I feel anxious.

It’s a metal saw, and he has me lie on my belly. He inserts a slim piece of wood between my collar and my neck, so he doesn’t accidentally hurt my neck when he saws opens the collar. He turns the collar toward the back, so the locking mechanism is in front of him, and he gets to work.

The sound is kind of strange—hypnotizing.

“Try not to move,” he says. I realize if I did move, he might slice my neck. So I keep still. But I’m not afraid. He seems pretty good with his hands. I’ve only ever seen him restrain that brothel owner, and he did that effortlessly. But considering how strong that guy was—I’m sure I’m in good hands.

In a few moments, I hear the saw hit the slim plank of wood on my neck, and my ears twitch.

“There we go,” Rai says, lifting up the collar. The hinges creak when he opens it—in fact, he struggles with it a little, it seems—but I feel so much lighter once it’s off.

However, he drags his finger around my throat and to the back of my nape, right where the collar was, and I realize my skin there is not unscathed. I have a mark there.

“Huh, I wonder—if I can use the same cream here,” Rai asks. “I think we don’t need to cover it, though. How are you feeling?”

“A little strange, but I’m all right,” I say.

“Do you have the energy to visit the shaman?” Rai asks.

“You found someone who might know about the curse?” I ask. “Yes! I can go.”

“Let’s get you dressed. In something other than this—as lovely as it is, it’s rather noticeable.” I feel Rai stroking my tail through my robe.

I don’t have anything else, though—but when I look down at where he's indicating, there is a small parcel waiting for me. Inside, I find a dark brown knit shirt, which I pull on, a lighter short-sleeved shirt with white sleeves and a black and blue pattern on the chest, similar to Rai’s—it must be from the same merchant—black leather pants, a black hooded cape, and black leather gloves and fur-lined boots, all which fit me perfectly. How did he get my size right?

“Perfect,” Rai says, looking at me admiringly. “You should be set for the winter as well—maybe a fur-lined cape will be necessary later.”

“Um, thank you,” I say. I don’t know how to respond, really. No one has ever bought me anything like this before. 

“Oh, and you might need this,” Rai says, picking up a small sword and a scabbard. “I don’t know if you’ve had much sword training, but I will help you. This one felt about right for weight and size for someone of your stature.” 

He approaches and attaches the scabbard to my hips with the belt, buckling it securely.

“How’s it feel?”

“Surprisingly like my old one,” I say, except that this one is a much nicer quality. I give it a few swings, and I realize I am very much out of practice. “Ah, it’s been so long.” I look up at Rai and smile. “Thank you. No one has ever given me a gift like this.”

“We need to make sure you are protected, after all,” Rai says simply. “Now, are you sure you have the energy for a walk? The shaman lives in the forest.”

“I’ll be fine,” I say. I’d go anywhere with this cat, and I don’t want him to leave me here. It’s been so long since I was outside, I’m excited, actually. I’m still feeling slightly loopy, too—probably from the medication.

Rai pulls up my hood, covering my ears. “You may want to keep your ears and tail covered, just while we’re in the city. No one can see your markings now, though.”

We walk downstairs and through the lobby—Bardo whistles as we leave—and it makes me turn my head. I realize he’s whistling at _me._ It’s weird. Why? What does that even mean? He gives me a bit of wink. 

“Pervert,” Rai mutters under his breath as we leave the inn. “He needs to stop staring at your ass.” Oh. I didn’t think that was what he was doing, but I wasn’t paying attention. 

I see Rai is carrying the metalworking saw with him, so I guess we are returning it before we leave for the shaman. I keep close to the silver cat—but when the streets get crowded, I get nervous. So many cats! In spite of myself, I grab onto Rai’s cape, just so I don’t get separated. He glances back at me and nods.

I guess it’s okay then? 

I keep my face down, still nervous the brothel owner will be looking for me, so I don’t notice when we get to the merchant’s shop until Rai pushes open the door. I let go of Rai’s cape once we are inside and let my eyes adjust to dim light inside the shop. 

“Oy,” Rai says, looking around for the owner.

To my shock, I see a mop of bright orange hair and a pair of blue eyes pop up from behind a tall stack of crates. 

“Hi!” Tokino says cheerfully. “Did it do the trick?”

“See for yourself,” Rai says, his voice neutral.

“Tokino!” I exclaim happily—and I am relieved to see that he is all right. 

“Ah—Konoe—I saw you standing there but I didn’t even recognize you!” Tokino comes out from around the crates and crashes into me, giving me a great big hug. 

Do I hear a tiny growl from the silver cat? He is staring at me, but his expression remains deliberately neutral.

Tokino pulls his body away from mine—though it’s nice to smell his scent again, warm—like the sunshine, I’ve always thought—and he takes a look at me from head to toe.

“Are your ears and tail still black? And you have those same markings? You’re off to see the shaman?”

“Yes, Rai is going to help me,” I say. “Thanks for letting us use that tool. It feels so good to get that collar off my neck.” I look down when I say that. It’s embarrassing—he saw me—twice—when I was in the brothel—but he doesn’t seem to have changed his opinion of me.

“I’m just so glad you’re all right and are away from that place. I did everything I could—my father forbade me to see you, but I told Bardo—thinking, he’s a big cat, maybe he knows someone from Setsura, and he told this guy.”

Really? That seems backward to me since I am pretty sure I saw Rai before I saw the tiger cat—but who knows? 

“I’m so, so sorry, Konoe,” Tokino says. “I had no idea what Dad had in mind, and I’m sure he thought—well, he only thought to save your life—”

“Tokino,” I say, grabbing his shoulders and looking at his face. “It’s all right. I’m actually grateful. I’d be dead if not for you two. You _did_ save my life. And now, I have someone to help me break my curse.” I look shyly at Rai. He has somewhat of a smirk on his face and seems slightly more comfortable now. “Plus, he’s really handsome,” I whisper softly in Tokino’s ear. “I don’t know if you perhaps didn’t notice,” I say that sentence out loud.

I see Rai’s ears tilt toward me curiously, but I spoke quietly enough so I know he couldn’t have heard what I said, and he wants to know.

Tokino laughs.

“Oh, I noticed!” He presses his nose to my shoulder. “Konoe, you’re really a good guy. I still have not forgiven my father for what he did to you, nor myself in the part I played. Seeing you like that…” 

“Please, _don’t_ think about it,” I say, thinking I really don’t want to be remembered like that. “You _have_ a father, Tokino. Don’t let that come between you. He did what he thought was right, and I don’t hold anything against him.” I return his affectionate gesture, pressing my nose to his shoulder. Sunshine—sunshine, freshly cut hay, and sunflowers. That’s what he smells like, like summer. 

“Don’t be a stranger,” Tokino says. “And don’t keep him all to yourself!” The tabby smiles up at the silver cat, who looks down at him with a rather cool expression.

“Let’s go,” Rai says.

“Thank you,” I say again, flicking my tail as I follow Rai out the door.

I hold onto his cape as we walk out of Ransen—and as soon as we reach the forest—the natural woodsy scent hits my nose. It smells so good and fresh—but I’m brought back to the last time I was here. Afraid, my life in turmoil, the curse fresh and burning my skin, my fur strange, no idea where I was headed—now, though, it’s different. I have a new outlook.

“So you’ve forgiven him, just like that,” Rai comments, as we are walking into the forest. 

“Things seem to be working out, so yes,” I say. “He’s been my only friend for many years. I had no one in Karou.”

“Even though they sold you to that place?”

“It’s a hard time for everyone. I’m sure that wasn’t their original intention, and his father can’t make a living without goods. He needs goods to sell, doesn’t he?”

“Even if it means your body is sold in place of those goods?”

I feel a shudder running through me when I think back about the brothel, and I touch my neck. “Can I take off my hood?”

“Of course. We should be isolated enough here.”

“If they hadn’t, I would have never met you,” I say quietly, enjoying the feel of the forest breeze in my hair and my fur.

Rai stops walking suddenly, turns to me and says, “So, you find me handsome?”

How the _hell_ could he have heard that? His hearing must be really, _really_ exceptional. I feel the blood rushing into my face and into my ears—and just for today, I’m thankful for the black fur covering my ears to hide my blush. 

“Well, y-yes,” I stammer. “I’ve n-never seen a cat as handsome as you. I still can’t figure out why you are helping me.”

“I need a Sanga, first and foremost,” Rai replies, and continues walking—now with a smile on his face. 

“So, you knew I was a Sanga the minute you saw me?”

“No,” Rai answers, keeping the smile on his face. But he doesn’t say anything else.

“Is it because you’ve really got a heart of gold under all that icy exterior?” I say, somewhat flippantly.

Rai laughs—and it’s a sound I don’t know that I’ve heard very many times before. He laughed when he heard me click my tongue at Ryo, of course, but otherwise—when else has he laughed?

“You’re a noisy cat,” he replies. “You would have been hopeless if you’d stayed at that brothel. Driving your customers crazy with this incessant prattle.”

“You don’t seem to mind so much,” I say. “In fact, you like it enough to listen even when I’m talking to other people about things that don’t concern you.”

“And you think that statement didn’t concern me? If you didn’t want me to hear, you should have whispered more quietly.”

“How can you hear _anything_ with those nubby little ears of yours? That’s what I don’t understand.”

“Nubby little…” Rai echoes and he stops again. “Is that any way to address your savior and rescuer?”

Is he being serious? I sometimes can’t tell. My ears droop slightly.

“You're one to talk, with these giant elephant-sized ones,” Rai says, flicking the tip of one of my ears.

“Ouch,” I say—but it didn’t really hurt. It was sort of, strangely, stimulating. I am kind of feeling a little weird. Out here—in the forest—kind of like my fantasy earlier, I have to confess.

“If you have the energy to chatter, pick up the pace. I want to get there before it’s dark.”

I obey—for a while—watching that pretty white tail sway proudly back and forth. He preens under compliments, although I know he knows he’s handsome. He has no doubts about his looks. And he shouldn’t. He’s tall, lean, muscular—and he has such a nice face, a perfect tail, and his long hair is gorgeous. And he’s white. He could have anyone he wanted.

I wonder—will he like me if he breaks my curse? Will he think me plain?

I’m just a small cat with a hooked tail, after all. And my normal fur is white tipped with brown. It’s nothing special, after all. Will he just drop me if things are too weird, or if the curse is too complicated? I start to worry.

He finds a small pathway off the main road—I would have missed it—and I follow him. The grass is really high, almost reaching my chin—but off on the cliff, I can see it. There’s the shrine.

When we arrive at the entrance, Rai looks at me, pulls up my hood—I like that he feels like he can touch me freely—and says,

“I think you know this, but be careful. He’s a shaman, but he that doesn’t mean he knows everything.” 

“I got it.”

I follow him into the cave, which is a long, narrow hallway. Inside is much warmer and more humid than outside. At the end of the hallway, I see a light—a fire? Oh great, _fire_.

I try to stay calm, but I’m afraid of fire. 

There is a cat, light gray, dressed in long robes and wearing a mask that doesn’t hide his green eyes, standing there, almost as though he was expecting us. I realize both of us are resting our hands on the hilts of our weapons.

“Are you the shaman who can foresee the future?” Rai asks his voice echoing in the cave.

“Hou, you found me. There are not many who know of this place,” the gray cat answers cryptically. “This is interesting. Last night, something did occur in the stars. Indeed, this must be it.”

“Answer me,” Rai replies, almost rudely. I’m a little surprised at his tone. “Are you the shaman?”

“How rude. Don’t be in such a hurry. Impatience gets nothing done. I’m surely the person the world refers to as such, although I cannot know.” The gray cat turns to me and says, “You’re especially repulsive. What’s happened here? Let’s see, let’s see…”

“Do you know something?” I ask hopefully.

“Do I?” he replies, and his voice is tinged with laughter—and he suddenly pulls off my hood, exposing my ears. I’m embarrassed and drop my gaze. I think two weeks ago, I would have drawn my weapon, but I don’t today. I don’t have the energy. Plus, isn’t this why I’m here? A look of eager delight appears in the shaman’s eyes. “Hmm. There are others as well. Show them to me.”

I take off my gloves and show him my markings and present my tail.

“Hoh-hou… There is no mistake: this is the curse that has been spoken of since olden times.” I don’t like the feel of the shaman’s hands on my body, skimming across my fur or my wrists, and I think I hear Rai growl softly again. “So then, what exactly has brought you two here?”

“We’re looking for a way to break the curse.” The silver cat is nothing if not direct. 

“A way to break the curse? What an amusing idea that is! ‘A way to break the curse’? How interesting!”

“Is there a way?” I ask, almost desperately.

“I don’t know of one. To begin with, I don’t know whether or not it can be broken.”

“It’s a fool’s errand?” Rai asks.

“I told you not to be in such a hurry. Such an impatient cat! Well, I’m interested, since you came all this way.” The shaman takes a deep breath and looks at me. “Behind you, I see a large shadow.”

“A shadow?” I ask. What could that be?

“Yes. It is an incredible power that can trap your soul in its hand and shut it inside a cage. Do you have any idea as to what it might be?” the shaman probes. 

“Why me? What for?” An awful desperation surfaces in my voice again. If this is too much for Rai, will he leave me?

“I wonder. You were born under a strange star. Your future is shrouded in darkness. It cannot be seen. No, rather than that, there is nothing. The future itself is empty.” 

“Future... empty?” What does that even mean? My heart sinks. “Is it death?”

“It is not so. It all depends on how you will act.”

I feel a little sick, swaying on my feet. I lean forward, catching myself on the altar, and accidentally touch one of the ornaments lying there. Suddenly—my mind is filled with a rapid succession of images—one after the other—right after I touch the ornament. What _was_ that? I make a surprised gasp and pull my hand away as though it's been burned.

“Ho-hou, you saw something?” the shaman asks. “What fun. Why don’t you look a little closer?” He approaches me with both hands out. He wants me to take his hands. I hesitate. “Why do you lower your ears? I won’t bite. I just need a closer look. Even if there is no way to break the curse, you won’t have visited for nothing.”

Before I can decide, however, Rai draws his sword and thrusts it between us. The shaman is displeased.

“What do you intend to do?” he asks Rai.

“What you said so far is true?”

“You believe it to be a lie?”

“I have no reason to trust you.” Rai’s voice is icy in the warmth of the cave. Is he trying to protect me?

The shaman takes a step back and pushes the tip of his sword away with his finger, still glaring at Rai.

“If that’s the case, I must know, what exactly do you trust in? Should it be visible? Or rather, should it have the consent of many? On the other hand, let me ask you: is there any evidence you are who you say you are? Is there any evidence that this reality is reality? Maybe you have been in bed all this time, and, without even knowing it, have been dreaming for a long, long time. The world is already being overtaken by the Void, the land becoming a desolate place. However, if this world is your dream and thus your reality, it will remain so. Do you understand? What is reality, what it trust? You must decide this for yourself. It is not up to your surroundings.”

Rai remains silent, glaring at the shaman.

“If you understand, sheathe your sword. Overall, _you_ are the one who must decide,” the shaman’s voice lightens when he turns back to me. “Go on, then.”

“I...” I consider carefully. “If you see something, I want to know. I want you to tell me.”

“There’s the spirit! That is what is most important: you must not lose sight of it.” With that, the shaman takes both my hands in his. “Now, look into my eyes. Keep your eyes on me.” He uses a calm voice, which drops to a whisper. “Now then, keep still.” 

I obey, concentrating by staring deeply into the shaman’s green eyes just for a few frozen moments, then I suddenly startle in surprise.

“Did you see something?” I ask. 

“Four shadows.”

“Four shadows?” I can’t stop myself from echoing his words. Am I really the noisy cat Rai accused me of being earlier?

“As if they were enveloping your soul, I saw four shadows. They were not cats.” The shaman is not smiling anymore. “They are not cats. They are more wicked, more pure in soul. Perhaps—“

“Aren’t they devils?” I interrupt nervously.

“I believe so. Four different colors of powerful souls surround you. For the devils to cling to one soul is peculiar. Moreover, four at once is practically impossible. Perhaps your existence is special in some way. But still, there could be a presence luring them as well. It is the work of the larger shadow that’s captured your soul.” 

“Who is this?” I ask. 

“That, I also do not know. But I did not only see bad things. There is also someone granting you divine protection.”

“Divine protection?” I ask.

“Yes. While not particularly big, it is a soul with great strength, a presence desired by many.” 

“Do the devils have something to do with the curse?” Rai asks.

“No. I told you it is not quite like that.” The shaman saves a particular disdain for Rai, apparently.

“Do you know where I can call forth their true bodies?” Rai continues.

“Don’t tell me you intend to fight them.”

“Since I don’t know anything about the large shadow, all I can do is take care of the parts I do understand.”

“Are you serious?” The shaman is dumbfounded. 

“Are you saying that I’m lying?” Rai returns coldly.

“You don’t know about the devils, do you?”

“Of course. I know about their pacts.”

The shaman covers his mouth, unsuccessfully stifling his laughter.

“What the hell’s so funny?” Rai sputters.

“No, that’s funny! How interesting! How very reckless, wanting to challenge a devil! I like it! When you exit this forest, you will reach a small village. Past this village, enter the forest, and before you will appear a place filled with the light of four colors. It is a place only I can see. But...”

The shaman glances back to me and asks, “Do you get along well with this rude cat? He seems to be very devoted to you.” 

“Um, yes—“ I say softly, and Rai interrupts.

“This guy’s my Sanga,” Rai states boldly. That was rash. I haven’t ever sung outside the bedroom yet.

“Hou?” Shocked, the shaman smiles again. “I see. You are a Sanga. Quite an odd star you were born under! Do not worry so. Surely this song of yours will shake the world.” Shake the world? What does that mean? But then, he glances at Rai again. “Even so, _you_ must be careful. I see it.”

“You saw it?” Rai sounds surprised.

“I saw. Where there is light, there must be shadow. It is so with everyone. Now then, I can tell you no more. If you are going, then it would be better to leave quickly.”

“Let’s go,” Rai says, pulling me out of the cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rai treats the rest of Konoe's wounds and saws the collar off his neck. He also gets him a new outfit--similar to the one he wore in the last scene of Rai's good ending, in case you're wondering what the hell he's wearing.
> 
> They decide to visit the shaman, but first, stop by Tokino's shop to drop off the saw. Tokino is relieved to see Konoe and very apologetic. Konoe says, don't worry about it.
> 
> Rai and Konoe visit the shaman.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai and Konoe make their way to the field of the four colors in order to find the devil. They train to train Konoe's blossoming Sanga skills along the way.
> 
> Trigger warning: consensual sex in this chapter.

“I think we should go now to the place the shaman mentioned,” Rai says, as we are making our way back to the main path.

“What, right now?” I ask, looking up at the sky. Won’t it be dark soon?

“Yes. There’s no point to staying in a city filled with superstition, and no reason for us to delay. I thought we might, so I have packed a few supplies for travel already. We can simply go from here.” Rai turns his head to look at me. “How are you feeling?”

“Eh? Um, I’m all right,” I say, slightly confused by the question.

“I was thinking we might train before we settle down for the night. If memory serves me, there’s an open glade up ahead that would do well.”

“All right,” I say. I have no idea what he means by training. If it’s an open glade, maybe he means sword training? If it’s with the silver cat, I’d be open to just about anything. Although—this is outdoors, and I don’t know how I feel about that.

I’m reminded of that fantasy I had—the place I went to in my mind when Bardo was cleaning my wounds. When I look up, the forest covers the sky in just that way. And it’s dusk, so the setting moon of light looks gorgeous, just like in my imagination. 

I’m _sure_ he meant sword training. What else could he have meant?

Rai takes a hidden path off the main road, and it opens up into a small, unforested area, perfect for training. He stands opposite me, crossing his arms, meeting my eyes.

“I think it would be wise if we could teach you to sing as soon as possible,” Rai says. “Every Sanga has his own song, I have heard. I’ve heard yours several times, now. Do you remember singing?”

“I do,” I say. “But I don’t know how I did it. How am I supposed to make it happen if I don’t remember?”

“Well, we could recreate the original event—and I’ll do that if needed,” I blush fiercely when I hear this suggestion, “but for now, see if you can’t remember the feelings leading up to right before you sang.” 

“All right,” I say, somewhat doubtfully. I somehow still doubt I am a Sanga. I know I’ve sung for him a couple times, but the one I remember most clearly was when we were together at the inn.

I close my eyes for a moment, letting the wind ruffle my fur and my hair, taking a deep breath. I was close to my climax at the time, but that wasn’t what made the song start. I wanted to tell Rai something—something I didn’t have the words to say. And I felt something warm and light inside of me.

I think I felt accepted—and I wanted to return those affectionate feelings without words. It was such a warm feeling—and where did I find it? Deep within my body, in the core of my soul—I found something unexpected… a pool, a deep pool of liquid melody. Is that what it was?

I hear the sound of something dripping and my eyes fly open in surprise.

“Did you feel anything? Remember anything?” Rai is suddenly by my side—he’s holding me in his arms. Did I collapse? I don’t remember falling. “Don’t overdo it, though. Do you need a break?”

“No—no, I'm fine. Let me try again.”

I close my eyes again and try to locate that strange pool. It’s filled with a bright warm light—and it’s overflowing with song. That’s it. Now—how do I pull out a song? Do I choose what I want to say? Is that all?  
  
What do I want to say to this cat?

 _Thank you_ , I think. _Thank you for saving me, accepting me._  

And that’s all it takes—a song starts to rumble from deep within my bones, startling me—I can feel my ears twitch fearfully—but soon the melody comforts me. It skates across my skin, my fur, and my hair, and I can feel it extending from my body. It doesn’t come out of my mouth—it’s vibrating deep within my bones.

I open my eyes just a little, and Rai, who is still holding me, is engulfed in the soft, warm light. I hear him gasp in surprise—and he is delighted—reaching out a hand to the tendrils of light wrapping around his body. 

“This is…” His voice is soft and gentle.

However, instead of assuming a fighting stance, which is what I thought he might do, Rai leans down and kisses me. I’m not sure what makes him do this—but he does. He takes my lips gently and then steals into my mouth with his tongue. This is not the reaction I was expecting. 

Within a few moments, probably due to my surprise, my song fades, and I whisper, “Isn’t the song of a Sanga supposed to be used for battle?” 

“It is,” Rai says. “But yours feels… strangely intimate. I couldn’t resist. Not with you in my arms like this. Plus, in order to fight, a Sanga and Touga have to have a bond. The stronger our bond, the more closely we are connected, the stronger your song will be and the more powerful you will become.”

“What did the song feel like?” I ask.

“I was definitely filled with power,” Rai says, and then he pauses for a moment. “But even more, there was something else as well. It’s a _warm_ connection—the idea of fighting with another person, as a team—that has never been attractive to me. Not until I met you.” Rai looks at me. “Are you all right? You seem a little drained.”

“I’m tired,” I admit.

“It’s possible that when you first start singing, it’s like anything else—you build up your songs like training a muscle. The more you sing, the stronger you become. We will keep training. Can you stand, or do you need to rest?”

“I can stand,” I say.

I’m a little wobbly as he pulls me to my feet. 

“There may come a time when you need to protect yourself with a sword as well.”

I haven’t done any sword training in a long time, and it takes a while to get used to it again. But with Rai, it’s fun. He helps me up each time he disarms me—and he disarms me a _lot_. He says I am fast, but my hits are light, so I should aim for vital spots. Even doing this, Rai still easily disarms me.

After about an hour, I’m exhausted, and I have a hard time getting back on my feet. Rai picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Oy, what are you doing?”

“You weren’t getting up, so I’m helping,” Rai says. He wanders through the glade, finding a small area to set up camp for the night. “I think you need some rest.”

I watch him build the fire, and I naturally shy away from it. I dislike fire, but I hate this about myself.

“Are you afraid of fire?” Rai asks casually, once the fire is going. He is digging through his pack and has pulled out a few nuts and fruits.

“Oh! Um, not really,” I lie.

Rai turns to face me, a slight smirk on his face. “Really? So your shying away from it is just a fluke?”  
  
I look away, embarrassed. I don’t like to admit it. I’ve tried to accustom myself, but I just can’t. It terrifies me.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, really,” Rai says. “I guess our ancestors were afraid of fire, too, but that has mostly disappeared since we use flames to cook these days. Hungry?”

“Not really,” I say, which is probably also a lie. I'm sulking because my weakness has been discovered.

Rai gets up and comes over to me.

“You need to be a little more honest with yourself. Here,” he hands me a piece of fruit—a kuim—and I can’t figure out how he figured out that’s my favorite already.

“Ah, thank you.”

He sits down next to me, and he pulls my body next to his, so I’m leaning on him.

“Relax a while. We probably overdid it today.” Rai is eating a few nuts. I can hear him crunching close to my ears, and he brushes his hands through my ears with the gloved hand not currently holding food. 

Once he is done eating, he removes his gloves.

His hands feel so much nicer on my ears without the leather—though there was something kind of fascinating about the leather, too. I feel myself start to purr.

He’s rubbing my ears gently, just the base of my ears, but firmly. It feels nice on my head, taking all the tension out of my ears at once. It’s relaxing, and my eyes start to close.

“Are you tired?”

“Mmm,” I murmur.

“Sleep,” Rai whispers, pulling me into his lap, and I curl up, enjoying the touch of his hands on my ears.

Although… soon I realize I can’t sleep.

I’m much too excited to sleep.

I keep thinking about exchanging blades, the light in his eye, that silver hair streaming behind him, his fluffy tail getting even fluffier… and while I’m resting in his lap, I reach out my hands and grab his tail behind him.

Rai suddenly sits up a little straighter.

“Oy, Bakaneko! What are you doing?”

“It’s just… your touch feels so nice. I thought I’d return it…” I murmur softly. I can’t tell if Rai is uncomfortable, though. Does he hate having his tail touched?

Where I am right now… it would be so easy to access this part of him. I could easily unbutton his breeches and take him into my mouth… I wonder if he would hate that?

But I’ve done exactly that before I even have a chance to really consider the consequences of what I’m doing, and I’ve pushed him back to the ground in the process.

“Oy—oy!” His protests are breathy, however, and I notice he isn’t actually telling me to stop. If anything, they are only heating me up more.

I can feel a purr deep within my body, and strangely—that song—it’s stirring within me again, starting up softly, at least at first. I notice Rai’s ears perk up immediately, however.

While I have as much of him as will fit in my mouth and am using my hands for everything that won't fit, I feel his hands on my body. He is so much taller than me—and I feel him stripping off my pants in a matter of minutes—pulling off my boots, my pants, and opening up my shirt and pulling it off. His hands are on my skin—I can feel a hand encircling my dick, which is already hard, and the other hand stroking my ass gently—so very gently.

It feels so good.

“Come,” I hear Rai whisper. He’s nudging my shoulders slightly, and I follow his lead. He sits up and pulls me into his lap. I feel a finger at my entrance—moist with my own fluids—and it enters me quickly and smoothly—and to my surprise, just that one finger is snug and tight, though it glides in nicely.

“Don’t tease me,” I beg. “Please!”

“I’m not,” Rai looks at me. “The heat has passed, and I don’t want to hurt you. Be patient and let me prepare you.”

A little irritated by the delay, and a little confused, I wait patiently for him to insert a second finger and it is an even tighter fit—much tighter than I remember last time. Why? Panic starts to rise now. Is this going to hurt?  
  
“Are you all right? Does it hurt?” Rai asks, not taking his eyes from my face.

The fact that he can see my face like this—it’s a little overwhelming—but that means I can see his, too.

“N-no,” I say. “It’s just… tighter than I remember.”

“It’s good to prepare you a little more, then,” Rai whispers in my ear, licking the tip before sucking it into his mouth and inserting his tongue.

I shiver in response to that touch, my fur fluffing out fully, and my body relaxes. Soon, having two fingers inside me is fairly comfortable—and he pulls them out again.

I pull up his shirt so I can feel his chest against mine, and I climb on top of him, straddling his lap on my knees.

Taking a deep breath, I lower myself onto his length—and it’s _painful_.

Not just tight, but actually _painful_.

Tears stream from my eyes and my dick actually goes soft—and I accidentally let out a cry of pain.

Rai holds my hips, stopping the penetration, and he kisses me, shushing me, holding me steady, and he also wraps his soft tail around my softening dick, which is such a sexy surprise—that silky soft fur brushing against me there makes my eyes fly open.

“It’s okay, we can go slow,” he whispers. “Or do you want to stop?” 

“No, I _want_ you,” I say, desperate and directly into his mouth. I am confused as to which sensations are pain and which are pleasure—the tightness is unbelievable. Is this what Ryo warned me about, once the heat had passed? Our differences in stature are obvious now.

I’m desperately kissing Rai’s lips, and I feel his hands supporting my hips, slowly letting me lower myself onto him.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” I say.

“So eager,” he whispers, heat and desire covering his voice. “My precious Sanga.”

The pain feels like being split open—turned inside out—and I fight to keep my tears under control, but I can’t.

Rai licks them from my cheeks.

“Hush, now. Slow down,” he whispers against my mouth. “There’s no rush. Don’t push yourself.”

I was so eager before—and I still am, but now it's to please him, make him feel desired and wanted and to make him feel pleasure—even at the expense of myself. But the pain I am feeling is so overwhelming, I hardly know what to do. Several times I have to pause.

“Breathe—slowly—just breathe—take your time,” he encourages me, not rushing, not pushing me, not thrusting into me, supporting my hips, massaging the base of my tail in that way I like and find so arousing, keeping his tail wrapped around my dick to keep it from softening and to remind me of the pleasure awaiting me.

The thought that I might have been forced to do this—with countless other strangers—who would treat me roughly or cruelly, or who might hold me down and or force me—perhaps without preparation—chills me to the bone.

Even with patience and preparation, my entire body is coated with sweat, and I’m shaking slightly.

I feel a soft touch on my ears—his mouth—kissing my ears, slurping the tip into his mouth, whispering softly, “Do you want to stop? It’s all right if you do.” 

I shake my head, pulling my ear from between his lips, and I tilt my chin a little, meeting his lips, letting his tongue invade my mouth as well. 

Finally, I feel my thighs resting on top of his, but he doesn’t move his body at first. Instead, he moves his hands to my front, wrapping his hand around my cock, and starts stroking, gently. I can feel each one of his fingers wrapping around me, and his thumb gently presses into the slit of my dick, and I mewl with delight at the sensation. It makes a numbing, buzzing, melting sensation come back into the base of my spine.

The combination of sensations—being stretched open and also the pleasure of being touched is intense. I can’t tell them apart at first, but my cock responds immediately. His tail tangles itself with mine, wrapping itself around my own, stroking me from base to tip—he has so much plush fur and he is so warm.

Rai is still mostly dressed, while I’m completely naked. His shirt is undone and his pants are open. My bare legs are resting on his pants—but strangely, that’s somewhat of a turn on for me. It's an odd imbalance of power, but also oddly sexy. I feel at his mercy like this, and I realize I trust him.

At this point, my song changes as well. It seems to warm up a little, casting a brighter glow between us, lighting up the space between our bodies, which is embarrassing for me since I don't really like to be seen. And this position is very exposing, I realize, and the light makes it even easier to see my face, my blush, my body—everything I have—is open for his view, on display. Open for the taking. And I trust him with it. That's what the song is saying, I feel.

Then, I feel a gentle rocking of his hips—very gentle and subtle—gauging my pain and my ability, and he keeps his hands moving at the base of my tail and on my dick while watching my face. It makes me feel quite breathless to be under such scrutiny. It also feels amazing.

“Are you all right?” The voice that comes out of him is hot with passion, just like that look in his eye, which is watching me so closely with concern. “Do you need more time? Want me to stop?”

I shake my head again—it’s weird—because just hearing the sound of his voice—hearing him so taken with passion—it makes any pain I’m suffering worth it. I’d gladly do this again, continue suffering like this and worse if it meant I could hear his voice sound so uncontrolled and so heated once more.

"More," I whisper. "Please. Move faster, move more." 

Then I feel him thrust upward—a longer, more deliberate stroke—changing the angle slightly, pulling my body a little closer to his—and again, and again, all the while keeping his eye on my blushing face.

My cries of pain have changed into something else—first, into deep purring sighs, then lewd-sounding moans, then louder almost breathless cries, as soon as I feel him brush that sensitive area deep inside that makes the surrounding world fall away. I cannot even begin to describe the sound that comes out of my mouth when he touches that part of me.

I wrap my legs around his waist to find grip, my tail bristles and even the fur on my ears fluffs out. My fangs bare and my claws draw reflexively. I pull myself up on his lap and push myself down against him in a synchronized rhythm, letting out gasping sighs—trying my best not to bite or scratch.

But he crashes his mouth against mine at this point, which is poor timing since my fangs are bared. I can’t help nipping his tongue, and both his top and his bottom lips—but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, when I bite, it seems to inflame him—he starts growling, which makes my fur stand on end.

I honestly find the sound of his growl _terrifying_ , but he’s doing it in response to my biting him, which is also incredibly _sexy_. It heats up my core so much that I cannot stop myself from biting, nor holding myself back, and I find I'm returning his growl forcefully, only more softly. 

I feel like a wild animal.

The hand on my tail slips a little lower, supporting my ass and hips, helping me move a little more, and I start to see stars in my vision which each thrust—and the sounds coming out of my mouth match the timbre of my voiceless song. I devote every sound from my body—every movement—to finding this pleasure with his body—ignoring the tightness I feel inside myself—and all my prior pain has mysteriously vanished and is forgotten. Is it a result of my song, or am I just used to him inside me now?

For a few moments, I feel like I have lost the boundary between who I am and where my body is and who he is and where his body is—and I let it be—I don’t let it bother me in the slightest. Between the vibrations on my skin from the melody of my song, the vibration of my purr, the sighs, the moans, the movements from my body—all of it—all of it belongs to this silver cat. I dedicate _all_ of it—all of _myself_ —to him and him alone.

I feel the forest open up above me—the sky is suddenly visible when I look up—the stars sparkle more brightly than they ever have before—and the cool night breeze brushes against my sweaty face and rushes through the fur of my damp ears—and I feel a sudden sharp tug at the base my tail.

That’s all I need to push myself over the edge. I clinch up around Rai inside me, and my melody changes once more—it climaxes with me—and I hear a soft, purring sigh in my ear as I let myself fall from the ledge of precarious pleasure—falling into feelings of eternal bliss.

Almost frightening waves of pleasure shoot from my waist throughout the rest of my body. I can feel my claws grabbing onto the back of Rai's shirt, desperate to hold onto something in this world, afraid I may get swept away by the intensity of these feelings. Seconds after my climax, I feel Rai release inside of me as well—I hear him sighing into my ear, and then pulling my lips to his, pulling my face to his so he can see me clearly.

I keep my eyes closed for a moment—but when I open them—I see a pale blue eye watching me closely. Did he watch me? Did he watch me lose myself like that? I can feel myself blushing—all the way up to my black ears. I try to bury my face in his shoulder, but he won’t let me.

“You are so enchanting,” he says—and his voice is covered in amazement. He lowers me to the ground gently, treating me like something precious, something fragile. “You’re probably exhausted, aren’t you? That was too much today.”

I’m naked, I realize, but I’m not ashamed. Although—I feel slightly vulnerable—I don’t feel like I should sleep in the nude out here in the wild... although I realize I would, if Rai desired it for me. I'd do it without complaint or resistance. I look around for a moment, searching for my clothes, but I have no energy for anything. My body feels heavy.

“ _Relax_ ,” Rai shushes me, making me lie still. “Let me help you.”

My body feels full of lead—my arms and legs too heavy to lift—as he slides my shirt on over my head and slips my pants back on and fastens them. I miss the feel of his body against my skin, but he pulls me in close to his chest as soon as I am dressed, my back against his chest, warming me gently. I love the tender feeling. I feel my eyes drifting closed almost immediately.

The rhythmic sound and touch of him grooming my ears sends me to sleep in mere minutes. I'm relaxed and tired, and so sleepy. I don't even notice that Rai has pulled the back of my shirt up, and the front of his up, so our skin will touch when we sleep. And my tail lazily catches his, tangling itself in his, looping around it several times, before bringing it close to the front of my body, cozily pulling it over my lap like a blanket.

I drift off to sleep in those warm arms almost immediately, a deep purr surrounding me like a shield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the trip to the shaman, Rai suggests they leave for the field of the four colors right away. He's even packed supplies already.
> 
> He also suggests some evening training for Konoe--to teach him his Sanga song deliberately--as well as sword training--since they are passing by an open glade.
> 
> Konoe is able to sing by recalling how he felt when he sang to Rai at Bardo's inn. It works well, but it was exhausting. Rai is pleased but worried that he collapses right away. New Sangas have to build their songs like muscles, so practice is a good thing.
> 
> He also teaches Konoe some sword fighting skills. He's fast, but his hits are light, so going for vital spots is his best technique. Even so, he disarms Konoe every time but helps him up each time he lands on the ground.
> 
> After an hour, Konoe is exhausted, and Rai carries him off to find a place a little way into the forest to camp. Rai notices Konoe's fear of fire right away since he shies away from him, but he is kind about it. Konoe is a bit sulky about it and refuses food. Rai gives him a kuim anyway, for which the kitty is grateful.
> 
> Then, the big cat pulls Konoe into his lap, and takes off his gloves, and starts rubbing his ears, telling him to sleep. Of course, Konoe is too riled up to sleep, and he unbuttons Rai's pants--I mean, he's right THERE by his face, and takes him into his mouth right there without really realizing he's done it till after it's happened.
> 
> They start messing around and things get serious. However, neither are in heat anymore, and Rai is moving very slowly for Konoe's desperate tastes. And when he finds out how tight things are, Konoe panics a little. Rai lets Konoe control the pace of everything, offering to stop or slow down, helping him support his hips, etc., and is very kind--but this only makes Konoe want to go through with things more.
> 
> Rai get pretty hot and bothered by the time they are actually fucking, and Konoe sings again--to communicate his feelings for Rai. It ends up pretty nice for both of them, but Konoe is utterly exhausted when he's done.
> 
> Rai helps him get his clothes back on, and snuggles up behind him, grooming his ears till he falls to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai and Konoe wake in the forest and head to the Field of Four Colors.
> 
> Konoe feels sick and passes out, and goes to a place where he meets the four devils again, where he undergoes a trial with each of the devils.
> 
> This is a *really* long chapter, and for those of you who have played LBTV, you'll notice some similarities with the original game. It's changed, of course, since the timeline is different--among other things. However, I am using some of the same dialogs in the game when Konoe meets the devils. (It belongs to n+c.)
> 
> Triggers: references to sex, non-con kissing and groping, threats of violence, intimidation, threat of rape.

The next morning, Rai gently wakes me. I’d prefer to sleep a little longer, but we are in the middle of the forest, trying to get to the Field of the Four Colors, after all. I’m surprisingly sore. My thigh muscles are sore, and also, to be honest, where Rai was inside me last night. I instigated our interaction last night, so I don't blame him, but I'm still surprised.

When I finally get to my feet, the camp has been completely packed up—the fire is out and ashes scattered: there is no trace of us having been there. It seems Rai let me sleep as long as possible, which lightens my heart. However, he looks at my face when I wince upon standing, and he asks a very direct question.

“How is your body? Are you sore?”

I’m a little—no, a _lot_ —embarrassed, and shocked he’d be so bold as to ask so directly. I can’t help looking up at him, and he is smirking, although not unkindly. I feel myself blushing, and a small embarrassed sound sneaks from between my lips. I immediately cast my eyes at the ground. 

I don’t hear him approach, but he is suddenly in front of me, taking me into his arms and pulling me to his chest.

“There are some benefits to suffering from symptoms of heat, little one, especially for one of your size,” he murmurs into my ears. “But I suspect you will be used to me soon enough—and in the meantime, I will take care to prepare you a little bit more. Or perhaps you could be a little less impatient than you were last night.”

 _Impatient?_ Was I impatient? I can’t help staring up at him again. The minute I tilt my face up, Rai catches my chin, and he kisses me—gently, at first. He licks my lips, tracing the outline of my teeth with his tongue, then deliberately and violently invading my mouth, stroking the back of my throat, drawing my face in closer to his with his hand on the back of my neck. I can’t help purring, but I’m caught by surprise.

“I wasn’t impatient,” I say, casting my gaze down again, as soon as he draws away. “I was simply… eager.”

“I wasn’t complaining. I rather enjoy you eager to please and be... pleased,” Rai says. He smiles broadly. “I just don’t like to see you in pain the next day. Are you all right? Perhaps I can make it better for you this evening. You’d be surprised what a little saliva can do.”

“Saliva?” I ask—and then I think— _he wants to lick me… there? Hell no!_ I look up at him again, and apparently, I must have a somewhat horrified expression on my face. Rai laughs. It’s such a beautiful sound. 

“Konoe, it’s a good thing we escaped from that brothel when we did,” he says, stroking my ears gently. “I’ve no doubt that face would earn you a whipping, were I a client.” 

“I was whipped for much less than my facial expression,” I say, slightly ill-tempered. I stretch my arms overhead, tired of his teasing. Well, I’m _not_ tired of it. I _love_ it. I _adore_ it. I could see myself living with it for the rest of my life and enjoying every minute. But I’m a little afraid. What is going to happen at this magical place? Are we going to meet the devils? Then what? What will become of us?

And what if my curse is broken? Will he still find me attractive? Or is he drawn to me precisely because of my curse? It frightens me.

As I follow him along the forest path, my thoughts wander, and I remember the words of the shaman: a large shadow, guiding the four other shadows surrounding my soul. The words ring true—and I feel something roiling in my stomach. I haven’t thought about it in a while, but the night before I came to the brothel, I had those dreams—of the snakes. I swallowed them. The sensation in my stomach—it feels like snakes rumbling around inside me, and it makes me feel sick.

I remember each time I was visited in the brothel as well—each devil came to me separately. Verg, the yellow demon, spanked me and caused me an even worse punishment because of my unexpected response to his actions. I don’t _want_ to remember.

The red demon—Razel—and his freakishly calm demeanor—riled me up with anger so much that I lashed out and scratched him. I look down at my finger. The bandage still covers my pinky, but the entire finger is bruised and swollen. It’s still sore to the touch, throbbing because I’ve been walking and blood pools in the tips of my fingers. I push his image out of my mind quickly.

And then there was Froud, dressed in black with lime green hair. He called himself the devil of joy, but that his joy was like _torture_. He acted like he would relieve my suffering, but in reality, he got off on it, got off on making me suffer more. I bit him and managed to get defanged in the process. I can still remember bits and pieces of that experience, though thankfully, my brain has repressed the worst parts of that memory. I remember having my head on his lap, and I remember the sound of bits of tooth—bits of bone—clinking into the metal bowl next to my head.

A visceral reaction comes over me suddenly, and I get nauseated and gag.

Rai turns around immediately. 

I find myself desperate—choking and dry heaving—my skin crawling, gooseflesh all over my body—at the prospect of meeting these terrifying creatures once again. True, the blue devil didn’t seem as cruel, but I very nearly went along with him willingly—just to escape my current predicament. And that would have meant missing Rai—missing the past few days with the silver cat. 

“Oy, are you all right? Breathe—just take some deep breaths.”

I open my eyes, and I’m on my knees after throwing up into the bushes along the side of the path. Rai is kneeling beside me, his hands on my back and supporting my shoulders.

“You’re all right. You’re going to be all right,” his voice is calm and soothing—his usual, comforting tone. “Relax. Did something happen?”

I pull myself together, wiping my mouth with my sleeve. I gratefully accept the water he offers, and I take a sip. I have tears in my eyes, which I wipe away quickly.

“Oh, ah—no. I was just thinking about the devils, remembering my experiences at the brothel,” I confess. “I’m nervous about meeting them.”

“You have me with you,” Rai says confidently. “You have nothing to fear.”

“They said I would have to choose between them. What if I _have_ to choose one of them?”

“A choice is simply that—a choice. Consider carefully—if you’d rather spend time with them or with me,” he looks at me for a moment, and this morning’s smirk flashes on his face at the same time I feel something stroking against my tail. “I know the answer to that.”

Again, I’m a little surprised he is teasing me now—and I’m slightly annoyed, unsuccessfully suppressing a growl.

“Oh ho. What a way to treat your savior,” he says again, smiling good-naturedly, standing up and offering me a hand. I realize then he is trying to cheer me up and comfort me.

Plus, I do owe him my life, in that regard. And I did… promise myself to him.

“Did you forget you promised—what was it, again—‘anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, as often as I wanted’?” I blow an exasperated sigh at this remark. Is he always thinking about sex?

“I’m pretty sure you’re adding to my original promise,” I grumble, allowing him to pull me back up to my feet. I feel a little better now. I _do_ have him. He is strong and reliable, and he is not afraid.

Our path takes us through a deserted village—every house is empty, not a soul in sight. It is the strangest thing. Looking through the windows, some rooms still have their tables set with dishes, as though they left in the middle of dinner. It’s eerie, and it gives me a bad feeling. 

I’m relieved to get through that place. It felt like a heavy weight on my chest, even just walking through that place. I wanted to ask Rai what he thought—but I could tell he was on guard from looking at his tail—slightly bristled at the base, held up stiffly on high alert. That fur—it’s so pretty in the sunlight. And not just his fur... when he holds his tail up like that, oh gods—the shape of his ass is just perfect.

What am I _thinking_ at a time like this?! I am ashamed of myself for admiring his fur—and his body—while walking through such a lonely, deserted place, so I look away, berating myself.

After the village, we enter the forest once again, and in a short while, the thick trees open into a large clearing. In the middle of the clearing stand four strange-looking stones. They look like large gravestones, except that they are all set up in a large square in the center of the field. Also, the surface of each stone is exceptionally smooth, like glass. I've never seen stones such as these before.

Rays from the moon of light shine down on the smooth surface of the stones, and each reflects a different color light into the center of the circle. The colors are yellow, red, green, and blue. Where they meet—at the center of the grass—there is a square-shaped intersection of bright white light. 

While it looks rather beautiful and not of this world, a strange sensation crawls up my nape the closer we approach. An evil foreboding fills the air, too, but also this place seems strangely familiar.

“What are these things?” I ask, examining one of the stones. 

“I’m not sure, but certainly, this is the place the shaman spoke of,” Rai says. “Are these crests?”

Looking carefully, there is an emblem engraved on the top of the stone I’m examining. A house crest, perhaps?

Suddenly, my heart thumps particularly loudly in my ears and my body trembles. With trembling fingers, I wipe the dirt away from the emblem to take a closer look. 

“A  _snake..._ ” I whisper. Looking at the next stone, it also looks like a snake, almost three dimensional, as though it’s about to slither off the stone. I look at the other two stones: both snakes, slithering, one posed to strike, one with its jaws open wide. My hands will not stop shaking.

“Oy, wait just a minute,” Rai's voice interrupts my thoughts. He reaches out to my arm, pulling the leather glove of one of my hands. “Come here. Let me see this.”

Sickening even more, I glance down at my arm and then look up at the crest with which Rai is comparing to my wrist. It’s the same. I hurriedly pull off my other glove, and it matches the crest on the stone across from the one Rai is examining.

“What is this?” I ask, my ears ringing, my voice faint.

“Perhaps each devil has his own mark,” Rai says. "Each has left his own unique mark on you."

“What do I do now?” I ask. I do not want to meet them. I am terrified.

“Try standing in the middle, here, where the light meets.” Rai guides my feet to the center of the stones. To my relief, he stays beside me, holding my arm.

“What are we supposed to do? Do a ritual or something?” I ask.

“A ritual?” Rai asks. “Have something specific in mind?” His tone is back to that teasing manner from earlier. Is he smiling?

“Like what?” I ask, slightly confused, a little annoyed to see his expression. I’m really scared here!

“Are you _offering_ yourself to me? Here?” Rai asks, that now irritatingly familiar smirk on his face. His voice lowers, and he speaks directly into my ear. “I thought you were still sore from last night. But you can be a little more direct. I don’t mind. You don’t have to make up excuses if you want me. I’ll fuck you _anytime_ —not just for a ritual offering. If you’re interested in me, just _say_ so.”

“Ah—no—that’s not what I meant!” I blush furiously, finally understanding his meaning. Is this cat _always_ thinking about sex? Although I’ve no room to talk. I was thinking about his ass just a little while ago—when I should have been mourning the state of that isolated village.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted when the ground begins to shake beneath my feet. I lose my balance and end up on all fours in the grass. My ears ring loudly and my vision grays out around the edges. It feels like my blood is boiling, my heart throbs, and my fur fluffs out defensively.

The markings on my wrists and ankles start to burn—singeing my skin as though they are made of hot oil—and I cry out in pain, trying to brush them away, as though that will get them off of me. Then, my stomach turns over sickeningly—I have a grotesque image of four large snakes crawling around in there, and it’s _excruciating_.

The world around me is covered in a thin haze. Is this from the reflected light of those stones? I can only see the grass below my hands and knees, though I know Rai is right here with me—I feel his large hands touching me, even I cannot see him.

“Do you remember this feeling?” A deep voice echoes in the depths of my mind. I recognize it immediately as one of the devils—the one who pulled my claw, in fact—and a horrifying shudder rushes through my body.

_They are here._

Tears reflexively flow down my cheeks, my fangs bare painfully, and my claws draw. I gag again, vomiting in the grass. I do _not_ want to lose consciousness. If I lose consciousness, I may come face to face with those demons— _without_ Rai!

I hear Rai’s concern and I feel him touching me—he is calling my name, rubbing my clavicle to rouse me. Even though I concentrate on the sound of his voice, it slowly fades from my consciousness.

The world around me fades into a gray haze. 

When I next I open my eyes, I find myself in a silent and empty space. While there is a floor beneath my body, it looks the same as the walls and above me: an empty darkness that goes on forever. My surroundings flash from a dimly lit green fading to yellow to red and then to blue, cycling slowly, endlessly.

The only sounds are my rapidly beating heart and my distressed breathing. My markings are still hot but not searing. However, my stomach is still cramping, remembering the pain from before. I fall back to the ground when I try to get up, so I remain where I am, shifting my body into a sitting position. The tip of my tail quivers nervously.

Suddenly, I hear a terrifying loud thump. It sounds like a deep throbbing noise, wet, like a heartbeat might sound inside the body. There are four large flashes, followed by four whooshing noises. Four flames—yellow, red, green and blue—flash up and surround me in the same square formation as the stones. The flames—while not particularly hot nor bright—look like fire, and I flinch away in terror. But since they are surrounding me, I can’t escape.

They flare up and back down again, and I’m so frightened that I crouch low covering my head with my hands, my tail and ears bristling. I _hate_ fire. I still hear the cracking of the flames, but I cannot escape—I’m surrounded. There’s nowhere to turn, and my newfound ally—he’s missing. I’m _alone_. Then, four voices ring out loudly. They echo in my heart and in my ears.

“Ah, he’s curling up his ears and his tail, and his knees are shaking.”

“Heeheeheheh, he doesn’t need to be so afraid.”

“That was in bad taste. Let’s finish this quickly.” 

“Don’t be impatient. It will be over soon enough.”

These familiar voices send a chill down my spine. They belong to each of the four devils and the snakes from my dreams. The markings on my wrists grow steadily warmer, burning my skin once more. The snakes rampage in my gut, roiling around in there chaotically, sickening me.

“He is suffering.”

“Well, that can’t be helped. Our alters are in there and are reacting. It’s only natural.”

“Finally. Whether he’s truly an unshakable soul or if he will fall into someone else’s hands... I’m looking forward to finding out.”

“He’s mine.”

“Oh, yeah? You’re pretty confident.”

“He’s the biggest catch in a long time. I won’t let him escape.”

Listening to these carefree voices chattering away while I’m suffering is humiliating. I’m afraid, angry, and grief-stricken because Rai isn’t with me.

“Looks like he’s in pain, huh? Well, I'll get this started. This’ll decide everything.”

That voice—that’s Verg. I look up at the yellow flame, and from the center, I see a black figure emerging. It’s him—the demon himself. He appears to be descending an invisible flight of stairs, slowly approaching me.

“Did you miss me, kitten?” his deep voice resounds lowly in the quiet space, filling my ears and sending a chill down my spine. My fur bristles as I cower on the floor.

I don’t look up at him—I deliberately lower my face as he approaches, though his footsteps make quiet sounds against the strange floor. His boots and his gray fur chaps are right before my eyes.

“Well?” 

I keep my face right where it is. One of the snakes in my belly is going completely berserk, tearing up my stomach from the inside—and I think I might vomit. I keep as quiet as possible and I ignore the devil before me, wishing my silver cat were here.

“Don’t just pretend like you didn’t hear me, kitten! Who do you think you are? You know, you’re starting to piss me off! Look at me.” I cower to the sound of Verg's angry tone.

I growl lowly, a hiss escaping my mouth, my fur bristling even more, and I bare my fangs and draw my claws, holding myself tightly to the ground.

“No,” I refuse quietly.

“Eh? Don’t just say no!” Verg sounds somewhat flabbergasted at my response.

My chin is roughly grabbed, my neck craned painfully toward his face, and I see the demon is crouched before me now. I'd forgotten how large he is—only a little shorter than Rai but much broader. I keep my eyes lowered, but I can tell he is pissed.

“Ah, so you think since that silver cat rescued you that your life has some sort of _meaning_ beyond what we can provide? Let me _remind_ you how mistaken you are. Allow me to refresh your memory of your _exact_ worth. This is _all_ you're good for, Chibi.”

“Ah—no—please—” I beg, finally meeting his strange gaze. I’d forgotten—he has strange eyes, one green, one gray. But I don’t get a chance to plead anymore, because his other hand comes out toward my body and grabs the base of my tail. I cringe, knowing what is about to come.

A shock floods my body—my tense body jerks, leaping up off the floor—and then—how could I have forgotten? Luscious waves of pleasure course through my body, one right after the next. And these leave desire pooling at my waist and hips such as I have never felt before. For some reason, his shock affects me even more than it did at the brothel.

“Ah—I see. So you’ve had some pleasurable sexual experience now, have you?” he murmurs directly into my ear. “Perhaps that silver cat has done me a favor by stealing your virginity. You see, I was _furious_  when he won your auction. It pissed me off.”

I sigh and gasp—unable to get myself under control. Verg strokes my tail tenderly, keeping hold of my chin to observe my expression. It’s humiliating to be seen in such a depraved state. His other hand cups my ass, just below my tail, touching the base and also covering my entrance—even over my clothes the touch makes me shiver—and he shocks me again.

 _Agonizing_. It hurts—and I cry out desperately—begging and pleading—but then, my cries turn into wordless sighs and gasps of pleasure, and my hips gyrate vulgarly, pressing back into his hand, as though I _want_ to be touched, as though I crave more—and my body _does_ want it. My body craves it. I’m overcome with desire, even if my heart and mind are repulsed and disgusted. 

“But if you’re responding like this now—I should be thanking him. He’s made you blossom, hasn’t he? You _want_ it, don’t you? It’s not even your season, and you’re already filled with desire.”

My ears burn with shame, my face flushes, and I want to deny his words, but what he says is true. But when he touches me—I feel also feel a strange revulsion in my gut. It feels _wrong_. I try to protest, but I cannot form the words.

“If you choose me, I can show you a world where desire rules all. Pleasure is _everything_. You will become a creature ruled by pleasure. Would you like a small taste?”

“N-no,” I struggle with the words. “I don’t _want_ it—I don’t desire _you_.”

“What’s this, then?” he whispers in my ear. “Your body seems to disagree.”

“But that isn’t all there is to m-me,” I protest. “I’m m-more than m-my body.”

“Is there, though? Why don’t you try just a small _taste_ of what I’m offering you before you decide so rashly?” Verg insists. 

“I will not allow you to consume my soul—and my heart is already taken!” I am finally able to speak.

“You misunderstand, Chibineko,” Verg purrs, stroking my body from my ears down to my tail. “Iam offering to make you my eternal companion. I don’t wish to _eat_ you. Allow me to show you what I mean.”

“N-no—please—I d-decline!” I beg.

“Shut your mouth,” Verg says quietly, and he lowers his lips to mine. He places his hand over my eyes for a moment, brushing them closed.

I feel like I am teleported—whisked away to another place entirely. It’s a castle—stone walls, humid air, but lush surroundings. It's very dark. Burgundy velvet curtains and plush carpets, animal skins, and a large four poster bed with dark red satin bedding in the center of the room. On the walls hang many contraptions—the likes of which I’ve never seen. They are a variety of items that look like torture devices—with cuffs, chains, bars—as well as feathers, whips, crops, and paddles.

I shudder and am repulsed.

There are mirrors everywhere—and when I look into one, my jaw drops. My reflection is _not_ a cat. The markings on my wrists and ankles are gone—but I have a new black sigil on my thigh, which I touch with my fingertips. I recognize it as the one that was on my left ankle. My ears—I bring my hand up to touch my ears, and they have morphed into short, bull-like horns, pure ivory color in color. I can hear, however, and beneath my hair, I have pointed, fleshy ears, like Verg's. I shiver again when I touch them. My tail is ivory and hairless. My skin is smooth and pale—and I’m naked. _Who am I?_

I’m shocked at my own appearance—I’m so thin, almost malnourished, yet somehow sensuous. I bring my hand back down to my lips.

Behind me stands the yellow demon, dressed only in a pair of underwear. I can feel his body heat against my bare skin.

“Wh-what _is_ this?” I stammer. I’m absolutely horrified, lashing my tail back and forth, and I can see it moving in the mirror—it looks like a snake. “Where am I?” 

“This is a preview of what might be—a taste of what _could_ be yours,” Verg purrs. He puts his hands on my shoulders and presses his body up behind me, pressing his erect dick into the small of my back. “This is my world—and you could share it with me.”

“N-no,” I stammer. “Take me back—I d-don’t want this! M-make me the way I was, _please_!” I _hate_ this—I hate it! What _is_ this? What am _I_? Am I a...? I can't even make my thought form the word. My body trembles from my head to the tip of my toes—even the tip of that oddly naked tail is quivering. 

“You don’t like this look? Don’t freak out, Chibi—this is only _one_ of many possible outcomes—it’s how _I_ imagine you—as my servant—my eternal companion. If you want to keep your fur, you can. For keeping cool, you'd be much more comfortable. You could live _forever_ here, with _me_.” 

The demon is standing behind me, watching my face in the mirror, and he drags his hand down the length of my body—which, to my utter horror, responds to his touch in an exaggerated way. A strange lewd sound leaks out of my mouth, and to my shock and dismay—my dick is hard and dripping. I can't believe this!

“See? You _want_ it—you _live_ for pleasure here. Nothing but _pleasure_. It feels good, doesn’t it?”

I’m purring—it’s a loud and wet, and utterly repulsive, considering I’m here with Verg.

“You’ve retained that ability, that purr, even in this form, because I like the sound. I like to hear you lose your self-control when I touch you.”

His other hand strokes my ass familiarly, tracing the outline of my body, and my body has a mind of its own. I am disgusted to watch my hips tilt back, pushing into his hand.

“I have trained you well, little one, in this fantasy of mine. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since I saw you lose yourself at the brothel—and that was from a mere spanking. What might you do if I _tried_ to please you sexually? My one regret is that we are alone in my world. However, every now and then, we might collect a soul for an audience—since you seem to get off on _performing_.” His words terrify me, sending an icy chill to my marrow, but my body is heating up faster than a forest fire. What is _wrong_ with me? _Who am I?_

“No,” I protest. “Please—stop this...” I can feel tears burning my eyes.

“What I can do to you will make anything that white cat did _pale_ in comparison. Let’s see a little more, shall we?”

 _Rai._ When Verg refers to the white cat, his face appears in my mind, and I come back to my senses. Rai is out there, waiting for me. He may not be here now, but he is still waiting for me.

“No—I _decline_. Take me back! I want _none_ of this!” I manage to get my strange body under control and I twist out of his reach.

“Ah—what’s this? Do you want to play a game of chase? When I catch you, you _know_ you will be punished! Or... is that what you want?”

Again, my body shivers as though it recognizes his threat, like it knows what will happen, as though he has chased me a thousand times—in both fear and anticipation. What is this place? Is this really just a fantasy? A possible future? I feel nauseated and panicky—and then—ever so softly in the very back of my mind, I hear a quiet voice calling my name.

“Konoe.”

It’s calm, though laced with concern. And I know the voice. It’s Rai’s. I drop to my knees, hugging my body tightly, close my eyes and listen, hoping to hear it again. 

“Oy, Chibi, what are you doing?”

I can’t hear Rai anymore—but I can _smell_ him, his scent—when I close my eyes.

“Where _is_ he?” I demand. “I’m finished here! I want none of this—I choose _him_ —send me back to him! I know he is close—I can hear him, I can smell him—I know he is here!”

“Ah, but we were just getting started, little one...” Verg sounds disappointed. He approaches me, crouched down low, and I refuse to open my eyes. I feel him stroking me—my ears and then my tail—my _fur_. He’s stroking my _fur_. “I suppose your fur is quite nice, too.”

I peek my eyes open again, and I’m back in the dark empty space—surrounded by four flames. My body is back to the way it was.

“You’ve made your choice. However, you have something that belongs to me. I’d like it back. I’m afraid this may be less than pleasant for you.”

With those words, my stomach rumbles, and I start to choke. Something slimy is crawling up my digestive track—and I’m afraid I know what it is. I’m so frightened—my ears flatten, my fur fluffs out—and I am unable to breathe for how large the thing is as soon as it enters my throat. Verg grabs my jaw, and to my utter horror, I see the yellow snake slowly wiggle its way out of my mouth. It wraps itself around the arm of its master, while my vision goes gray from lack of oxygen.

Finally, I can breathe—once the snake’s tail leaves my mouth, slithering unpleasantly through my throat. It’s left a nasty trail of slime in my mouth and throat, and I vomit on the floor after taking in a gasping breath. 

“So dramatic, kitten,” Verg says. “I’m sorry this is the choice you made. I’m sure you will regret it. It would have been so much easier for you to enjoy a life of pleasure with me.” 

I shiver at his words, but the yellow demon walks away, heading back toward his flame, and with a snap of his fingers, he, the snake, and the yellow flame disappear. I  breathe a sigh of relief, spitting and wiping my mouth on my sleeve—the nasty slime still coats my throat and mouth.

Before I can recover, however, the red flame flares brightly, and I see another figure walking toward me, down another invisible flight of stairs. Are they _each_ going to take a turn? I can’t—I don't want to do this again. And _red_ —this is Razel.

He stands before me, his red hair shining, blue eyes blazing, and he looks down at me. 

“I’ve seen you in better shape—even at the brothel, you were in better shape than this. Why don’t you just submit to your feelings and end this? You will feel such relief.” He crouches down next to me, and I can sense his terrible power.

Despite my intimidation, I growl threateningly.

“Don’t touch me,” I murmur. My pinky is throbbing—and just as I realize how much it hurts, he picks up my hand. His palm feels hot and dry, holding my much smaller cold hand. In an instant, I'm flooded with fear.

“You are enchanting,” Razel says. “As a show of my good will toward you, I will heal this injury.”

A searing heat burns my pinky—and I cry out in pain, tears streaming from my eyes. It hurts almost as much as when he first pulled out my nail. Pain throbs down the length of my finger into my palm and wrist. I try to pull my hand away, but I don’t have the strength.

When he finally releases me, the fingernail on my left pinky has been restored. It still aches and burns and is terribly bruised, but it’s like it was. I’m stunned—why would he do this? I look up his face. 

“Come with me,” Razel says. “Be my companion. Let me show you.” I'm too stunned to resist.

He takes my other hand and places his hand over my eyes, closing them. Like before, I am swept away to another place. I am transported to another large castle—this one, however, is much warmer and much brighter than Verg’s place. It must be Razel’s world. 

He pulls me by the hand—almost eagerly—from the giant marble entryway—into a room the size of a ballroom. It’s a library—the largest I’ve ever seen. 

“This library is filled with books from your people, the Ribika, as well as human books—those you call Two Canes. If you were to become my companion, I’d teach you to read their language. All of this knowledge could be yours.”

My jaw drops. The mahogany shelves are filled with more books I have ever seen, and in the center of the room are two comfortable looking chaises, extravagant chandeliers overhead, making a cozy place to relax. It’s a beautiful, peaceful space, and I’m filled with awe, as well as confusion. Isn't Razel the devil of wrath?

He pulls my arm, dragging me to another room—this one uses space both inside and out. Outdoors, I notice, looks like a desert—barren and dry—but indoors is an oasis. Natural hot water pools are scattered around this large area, connected with rock bridges and fountains. Lush greenery and tropical flowers decorate the space, and birds are singing up in the leafy trees.

I’ve never seen a place like this—I mean, I’ve seen fancy places for bathing, but never one such as this. It has a gentle, peaceful feeling. Doesn’t this devil govern anger?

“We could sit and enjoy the water—soaking to our hearts’ content—discussing the nature of the world, the nature of existence. I’ve longed for companionship such as yours.” Razel sweeps the hair from my face behind my shoulder.

I feel wooed. My heart skips a beat and I'm nervous. I don’t know what I could have done to have attracted a demon’s attention in this way, but he is acting like he enjoys my company, or like he enjoys the way my mind works.

He chuckles a little at my surprised expression.

“Wh-why me?” I ask, directly. “Why would you want to talk to me?”

“Come,” Razel says, showing me the next room.

An elegant parlor, set with an ancient but elegant tea service, steaming hot.

“Have a seat,” he says.

The ceilings are high and white, curved slightly and rounded. The furniture is plush, red and orange, with touches of gold accents. The tea set is a gorgeous blue and white porcelain which stands out gorgeously in the room. 

He pours me a cup after I lower myself into a velvet chair. I’m nervous. I can hear the cup chattering slightly against the saucer, so I place it on the table, taking a sip of the fragrant liquid carefully.

“How is it?” Razel asks.

“It’s very nice,” I say. “Thank you, but I don't understand why you brought me here.”

“This is my world—my home—where I have lived for a very long time, alone,” Razel muses, taking a sip of tea from his own cup. “Originally, I had planned to devour you, when l first started working with the other devils. You have a unique soul, you see—one that would provide creatures like us with energy for a long time, possibly even offering us additional power.”

“Unique how?”

“Oh, yes. Your very existence is special. But even more than that—you are pure of heart. And then, when I met you—the way your process anger is different from anyone I have met. You turn anger into energy, rather than let it consume you. We share the same soul. I couldn’t look away. You’ve enchanted me.”

I’m not sure what to say, so I lower my face. If I was so enchanting, why did he treat me so cruelly?

“Ah—you’re wondering about my treatment of you at the brothel? Why I provoked you?”

“Oh, um, yes, sir,” I try to stay polite. I forgot he can read my thoughts.

“I needed to see your reaction, gauge your response, to see if I was correct in my assumptions. You see, my offer is not made lightly. I have lived many centuries—several millennia now—and I have never had nor desired a companion.”

“Then why—when you’ve only just met me...?”

“That’s why I had to provoke you. I wanted to be sure. I want you to know I am serious.”

Razel sets his cup down. I’m finished with mine, too, and I feel a little strange.

“Are you ready to continue?”

“All right,” I say cautiously.

He takes my arm, careful to slow his steps. I haven’t seen any mirrors, but I still feel the same—my ears and tail still have fur. I don’t seem to have changed my appearance as I did in Verg’s fantasy.

The next room he takes me to is a giant walk-in wardrobe. It’s filled with hundreds of fancy clothes—maybe more—beautiful silk and satin, velvet and fur—all in a variety of styles—all arranged by color. As far as my eye can see, there is are outfits for every color of the rainbow.

“I would give this to you.”

I’ve never seen such extravagance.

“Come—this way,” walking through the closet—I cannot help touching the clothes just once, letting my fingers slide across the smooth, rich silk. There’s a door at the end of the hall. He opens it, and inside—oh, my gods, my eyes are nearly blinded.

Jewels—gold, rubies, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, topaz, crystal, silver, opals, peridot, citrine, garnets, silver, and platinum—never have I seen such treasure. Nothing but jewels and storage for jewels—chests and cabinets—are stored in this room. The room has a glass ceiling, allowing light to pour in from above, making all the treasure sparkle even more brightly. Why does he have this?

“I would give all of this to you, Konoe—all of it is yours—if you choose to be mine.”

The sound of his voice is different, and that’s because he has lowered himself on one knee, while he is talking. It looks strangely like a proposal.

He reaches out and takes both my hands in mine, looking deeply into mine—and his eyes look as bright as aquamarine. 

“Konoe, leave your world behind—leave that pain, that suffering and loss, your trials—all of it—behind you. Fall into my arms. Be mine.”

His words are terrifyingly tempting and beautiful. My heart quivers as much as my ears to the sound of his voice—that I could have tamed such a frightening beast is thrilling, but something makes me hesitate.

“I would dress you in silks and jewels every day—or just perhaps the jewels. Just choose me, little one.”

His eyes are so earnest—I almost wish I could believe him.

“I do not lie, Konoe. I’ve never once desired a companion—you’re the first I’ve ever wanted and pursued.”

I feel a soft and hot—almost burning—touch against my face, and I flinch, a small noise coming out of my mouth. I feel oddly flattered—and what else am I feeling? Why am I looking at him like this—like I _enjoy_ his attention? 

“You feel it, too, don’t you?” His low voice vibrates deep within my ears. “Somewhere deep inside your soul, you know you feel that you belong here with me. It doesn’t matter what that white cat has told you. He can’t see inside your soul as I can.”

_White cat? What white cat?_

Oh, my gods— _What is happening to me?_ Has he enchanted me? What has he done!? He almost made me forget about Rai! My memory comes flooding back, all at once. A moment flashes through my mind—our first night together at Bardo’s, he reminded me of a promise I’d made:

_Did you not promise to be mine in exchange for your freedom?_

His soft, sexy voice echoes in my head, caressing my ears. Is that indeed what I did? If so, what on earth am I doing here?

Again, I drop to the floor before the red demon, meeting his gaze boldly. 

“I thank you for your most kind and flattering offer—and for the hospitality and healing—but I cannot accept. My heart is already spoken for, and I have unfinished business. I am under contract that I may not break. Please, return me to my world.”

A soft sigh comes from the demon before me, and anger briefly flashes in his eyes. I close my eyes tightly, hoping to be returned to that silent space.

“This is a choice, and I have heard yours loud and clear. Although I think you will regret yours in very little time, based on what is ahead of you, and how late you are to this game. Ah, and you will need to open your mouth to release my alter.” 

The snake. I feel something burning my stomach—searing my digestive track—rising up, as though it’s trying to burn a hole in my gut, then moving ever higher in my throat. When it reaches my throat, I start to cough. It’s so hot! I start gagging again, and a hand closes around my throat and constricts my airway—but it’s only the snake coming out of my mouth. It even burns my tongue—scorching my mouth—which I scarcely have time to worry about since I'm trying to get my bearings after being able to breathe again. 

I feel a soft touch on my ears.

“You are an enchanting creature—and I will keep my offer open. Call out to me should you change your mind, even when you're older,” Razel says, looking like some ancient deity with that red snake wrapped around his arm and his black horns crowning his head. He snaps his fingers and disappears in an instant.

I touch my burned tongue and lips with my finger, unable to cool my mouth—I would love a glass of water.

“Little one,” a soft voice startles me. It’s the blue devil. He’s going out of turn. “It looks like you need assistance.” I didn’t even hear him approach.

I hear a soft clear clinking sound, and Kaltz holds out his hand. He has an icicle in his palm.

“It will soothe your burns. I will get my part over with quickly.” 

I am tired—I don’t feel like I can do this anymore. I’m exhausted and my body is still aching, though the ice cools down my throat and mouth. Kaltz, dressed in black, kneels next to my trembling body, running his hand—cold as ice—through my hair, touching my ears.

“You must choose.” 

When Kaltz touches me, I’m filled with an overwhelming sadness—a grief beyond compare—strong enough to bring tears to my eyes and make them spill down my cheeks. A hopeless sob hitches in my chest. This is a terrible feeling, but exactly what I felt while captive at the brothel with no hope of escape.

A heavy feeling fills my body, physically weighing me down against the floor. I notice this demon does not transport me anywhere. He is simply showing me his true self—and feelings I have experienced. 

It’s difficult not to give into this kind of despair. I feel like I might go crazy with grief.

“When you were in that brothel, you asked for my help. I’m now in a place I can offer it. However, that would require taking you from this world. Is that what you desire? It will save you from a painful future. Which do you choose?”

 _A painful future?_ I cannot think with the heaviness that surrounds me like a cloud. I am sobbing quietly, cold fingers stroking my hair comfortingly—although the comfort only makes me feel even sadder, even more hopeless.

What is my future?

_Your future is empty._

A voice echoes in my head—it was the shaman. I heard him only yesterday, I’m sure of that. This place—this is _not_ my reality. My body is not actually here—of that I’m sure. My body is wherever Rai is, and he is waiting for me. I must return to him.

I brace myself, wipe my tears, and steady my voice.

“I want to return to my world—I must return—to Rai.” My voice quivers slightly, but I sound convinced.

“I understand,” Kaltz says. “This may cause you some discomfort, but I too need to take my alter from you. I will see if I can make this less painful.”

Kaltz touches my forehead gently, and I fall into a dream-like state for just a moment—when I wake—my throat and mouth is freezing cold—and there is a strange sensation in my stomach—like I’ve swallowed a bunch of ice, or weirder, thrown it up. 

The blue demon leans down and kisses my head between my ears, a blue snake wrapped around his arm. He snaps his fingers and disappears along with his snake. I breathe another sigh of relief.

That leaves only one left—the green devil, Froud. 

I can feel the last snake bouncing around in my stomach in response to its master when he makes an appearance in the center of his flame. Instead of walking, this demon floats down to see me, his feet not touching the ground.

“Well, well—look at you—sweet Konekochan,” his soft voice says in a slightly sing-song manner. “You are much changed from the last time I saw you. You are brimming with confidence—did the white kitty’s touch change your life so much? For he is not quite what he seems. You heard a warning about him recently, didn’t you?”

“A warning?” I ask. What is he talking about?

“Yes—a warning. Where there is light, there must be darkness. As bright as you will shine, he will become darkness itself.”

Froud’s ominous words frighten me—making the hair on the back of my neck and the fur on my ears stand up. That’s something like what the shaman said, isn’t it? 

“N-no,” I whisper. “He… he is _good_.”

“What is this, now?” Froud asks, leaning ever closer, peering into my face, an icy gloved hand taking my chin. “Have you discovered love? How sweet! Do you think love can conquer the urge to kill? The joy one feels in draining life from another?”

I shiver violently—staring right back at that eyeless mask. How can he see me? I see no holes for his eyes—but I am definitely caught by his gaze. His other hand strokes my ears.

“Ah, such soft fur. I don’t have ears like these. Come, now let me show you what I would offer you.”

“I don’t _want_ it!” I protest desperately. “I choose my world!”

“But you’ve been so obedient with all the others—why would you refuse  _me_?” Froud’s voice remains calm, but he tightens the grip on my chin. “Now close your eyes…”

“No!” I shout.

“Konekochan—such disobedience after you’ve come all this way,” his voice lowers in warning. “You might as well at least _see_ the choice I have for you, don’t you think? I’m asking you nicely—but this is the _last_ time I will do so. Don’t you remember what happened the last time you disobeyed me?” He squeezes my mouth lightly, putting pressure on my lower left jaw, sending a piercing pain through the blank space where my fang used to be. It makes me cry out, pulls tears from my eyes, and makes the fur on my tail bristle.

He terrifies me most of all.

“So—will you close your eyes?” he asks ever so sweetly, brushing his hands across my eyelids. I feel nauseated, but I comply and close my eyes over my tears, my entire body trembling.

I open them in complete darkness—my eyes are not used to the dark at all—but I can smell a strange metallic scent. It’s blood. Lots of blood. Usually, this would terrify me, but my response is wrong—just like how I was with Verg. It’s as though I am a different creature, or my body is different. Instead of shying away in fear from the smell of blood, my body responds almost sexually. I become aroused.

My heart pounds in my ears, my body starts to sweat, and I’m excited. 

Then—in addition to my heartbeat and accelerated breathing, I hear a single scream. It’s a horrible sound. It’s the voice of someone suffering, someone dying—someone _afraid_ of death. It’s an awful sound—but again, my response is all wrong. Instead of cringing, instead of feeling sympathy, my ears tilt toward the sound in eagerness and anticipation. I start to salivate. I want to hear more, shivers of agitated delight coursing down my spine into my tail. 

“Do you _feel_ it?” Froud’s voice startles me, so close to my ear—he is right behind me, speaking directly into my ear, and I feel something slim and wet reach out and stroke my ear. It’s probably his tongue. Is it forked? “Can you feel it?”

His hands reach around my body, and one spreads itself across my chest, right over my racing heart.

“All life eventually comes to an end. Those last few moment—being able to witness those last moment—just before death—or better, being the _cause_ of it— _that_ is my joy. There’s nothing more exciting, is there?”

My heart flutters under his hand—and that is his glove I'm feeling against my bare skin. I look down and I cannot see myself. I’m dressed in black—or am I covered in something black? I reach out my hand in the darkness—and my entire arm is black.

I feel slightly afraid—even through this odd arousal—when my ears are flooded with screams—hundreds of them—tortured screams—and again, my body responds like it’s being sexually aroused.

“Do you enjoy this feeling? Stay with me, and I will show you what Shironekochan already knows and is hiding from you. _Death_ is the ultimate joy.”

Shironekochan? _Rai_. That’s right—he is still waiting for me. How long have I been here? It feels like days—it feels like forever—he must still be waiting for me, isn’t he? A memory of his voice echoes in my mind.

_“A choice is simply that—a choice. Consider carefully—if you’d rather spend time with them or with me.”_

The choice is clear. It doesn’t matter what I’m feeling now. This isn't real. It isn't _my_ reality.

“Take me back,” I say strongly, decidedly, pushing Froud’s hands away. “I want to go back. I’ve made my choice. I choose _my_ world. I want none of this… suffering.”

“Oh? Well, I’m sorry to say, the other devils are gone. I can have my way with you if I like, and none will be the wiser. Don’t you remember the fun we had together at the brothel, Konoe? Wouldn't you like to continue that fun?” Froud's voice slips and slides in my ears, making me tremble, and while I should feel fear, my body responds with anticipation and delight.

The hand on my chest drops lower, and I realize I am naked—my body is black and shiny, but I am indeed naked in this fantasy devil world. I have fur, however, which he is stroking on my tail, licking on my ears with oddly tender gestures. I am filled with fear when I remember what he did to me at the brothel.

“N-no—please,” I try to keep myself under control. He brought me so close to the limit, so many times—to the point of agony. _Do not panic,_ I try to tell myself. Do _not_ panic! What can I do? This isn’t a real place—my body is really with Rai—so how do I ground myself? 

I close my eyes, ignore my body, and I listen.

“Oya, what are you doing, Konekochan? Are you trying to escape my touch?” He’s already stroking my erect dick, getting a good rhythm going, and it’s terribly distracting, pulling lewd sighs from my mouth. “You’re so responsive, little one. Your voice is simply _magical_. It’s probably what drew the white kitty to you in the first place.”

I keep my eyes shut tight, trying to dissociate myself from my body. I listen for the sound of Rai’s voice, try to feel the grass around my body—I should be lying in the grass, shouldn’t I? I take a deep breath, inhaling his scent—and I smell… _nothing_. I am completely alone.

Tears leak from my eyes. Am I really alone? Is it too late? Am I stuck here? With this horror? What can I do to reach out, to connect to the one I love?

“Ahhh—your fear, your disappointment, your terror, your discouragement, your feelings of abandonment, your isolation… I want to feel  _more_. Give me _more_ ,” whispers Froud. “And relax into my touch, Konoe-chan.”

My ears ruffle when he says my name. I hate it when he calls my name.

Instead of desperately fighting against him, which I know he would love, I look deep within myself—for something— _anything_ —that would connect me with my silver cat. And I know by instinct what it is. It’s my _song_. Rai will always hear my voice.

The question is—can I sing when my body is being manipulated like this?  
  
First—I realize this _isn’t_ my real body. My real body is in the field with Rai. This is happening in my mind. It feels real, but it isn't _my_ reality.

Second—all I have to do is think about what it is I want to say. Rai is probably right next to me, worried about me, maybe even holding me. So I concentrate.

 _Help me,_ I think. _Save me from this insanity! Bring me back to you. Do not leave me here! Do not abandon me! I love you—I adore you—I would do anything for you!_

And the song flows from my body easily.

It’s a surprisingly pure melody, ringing out clearly, increasing in volume, shimmering across my body and skin, resonating in my flesh and bones. It feels warm and light in this cold, dark place.

My body lights up, tendrils of light oddly spreading up from my limbs and wrapping themselves around an invisible figure—someone I cannot see whose body overlaps Froud in part—who appears to be holding me in his arms. _Rai_! Is he _really_ this close? He is _right here_ —only in another world? Another dimension? I'm filled with relief.

“What do you think you’re doing, little Sanga?” Froud’s voice lowers. I’ve never heard him use this tone. “What is this? Do you think a song, lovely as it is, will get you out of what you have coming to you? Get you out of the reward I have coming to me? I _need_ you here—you are an _essential_ part of my plans. How _dare_ you!”

A sharp pain pierces my neck—and I feel blood dripping down the side of my throat. He has bitten me! When he bites me, a burning sensation goes into that wound—and I scream. However, shortly afterward, a numbing, paralyzing sensation follows the burn—as though he has released some sort of venom into my body, which makes my body respond even more to his touch. My lewd sighs increase, my hips twitch, but my song does not stop.

I will not stop reaching out to Rai. I open my eyes, and I can see his silhouette—I can almost _see_ Rai, right in front of me, surrounded by the tendrils of light. 

 _Please—please—help me,_ I sing in desperation. _Save me! Lend me your strength!_

I reach my hands out to the figure surrounded in light, but my hands pass right through his body. It breaks my heart, and tears flow from my eyes.

“I’ve _chosen_!” I scream at Froud. “I’ve chosen _him_! Not you! Send me _back_! Send me back!”

To my surprise, even as Froud’s repulsive touch grows ever more urgent, I see Rai’s figure shrouded in light lean forward. He lowers his lips to mine, and though I couldn’t touch his body, I definitely feel the touch of his lips. I’ve never felt anything sweeter. His kiss is filled with support, with love, with desire, with need and want. It seems to be calling me back to his world. It says, _Come to me, Konoe. You are mine. Fulfill the promise you made._

Tears stream down my eyes—I can now smell him, too—his powerful clean scent—and I return the kiss, and I reach out to touch him—but my hands still pass right through the light. It’s useless—I cannot touch him, except for his lips. I can’t even feel his tongue, but those lips, telling me he is right there and waiting for me— _that_ is enough.

“Damn you,” Froud growls. “Don’t you _dare_ think this is the end. I’ve heard your choice loud and clear, and you will regret not coming with me willingly.”

I’m thrown suddenly back into the silent empty space, and that snake violently thrusts its way out of my body—more violently than the others, It feels like its scales are covered in glass as it tears its way back up my digestive tract and out of my mouth. I vomit and gag, leaving bile and spit on the floor, as the disgusting snake writhes in my mouth. I nearly dislocate my jaw in my struggle to get the thing out of me, pulling it with both hands.

Froud snaps his fingers, and he disappears from that dark place with his snake and his flame, leaving me alone for a moment.

My song is still vibrating my body, and now—I can feel a hand in my hair—this is _Rai’s_ hand—stroking my ears urgently. Another hand is on my sternum, rubbing firmly, and I hear his voice in my ears—not just in my head—and I twitch them toward the sound.

“Konoe, wake up. Konoe. Open your eyes.”

Suddenly, the dark empty space falls away, and I jerk in surprise. I feel like I am falling—and I squeeze my eyes shut. I am terribly afraid—where am I? What is happening?

When I open my eyes, I am blinded by the light and surrounded by warmth. And the smell—it’s comforting and gentle. It’s Rai’s scent, mixed with the smell of grass. My head is in his lap. He is shielding my eyes from the late afternoon sun.

 _Rai_.

“You’ve awoken,” his voice sounds calm and even as ever.

I struggle to sit up, but I cannot.

“No—just relax,” Rai nudges my shoulders, encouraging me to stay where I am.

“What happened?” I ask, bewildered.

“Oy!” Rai says suddenly. I glance up at the sharpness of his voice, and his eyes are looking at my ears. I reach out to touch them, remembering with horror how they turned into horns during Verg’s vision, but all I feel is fur. “What is the meaning of this?”

“What is it?” I ask. But then I notice my hand—I’d taken off my gloves earlier, and the markings on my wrists are gone. “Wh-what happened?”

“Your ears—they are no longer black,” Rai says, a strange expression on his face.

I quickly pull my tail to the front of my body, and sure enough, it’s returned to its original color—white tipped with light brown. Nervously, I pull my boots off to check my ankles. Sure enough, the markings are gone.

“Was the curse broken?” I ask. “How long was I gone?” 

“You were right here the whole time. You didn’t go anywhere,” Rai says. “You fainted and were unconscious for no more than five minutes.” It felt much longer for me than five minutes. “You vomited, and I turned your head so you wouldn’t choke. Then, you started to sing. What did you experience?” 

“I… met the devils.” I look at my left pinky, and the fingernail is healed. “Oh, my gods!”

Rai looks at my hand. “What the hell? How did this happen? Open your mouth.”

I obey, but the fang is still missing.

“Explain.”

But before I can, my head starts to hurt—it throbs so much it feels like it might explode—and I feel terribly sick. There’s a loud crash, which makes the ground shake, and Rai jumps to his feet in front of me, drawing both his weapons. From between his legs, I can see a small black bubble floating in the sky, growing larger and larger—almost like a piece of the sky has warped and opened—and from there—from that space—a person emerges.

It’s a cat, dressed from head to toe in black, wearing a metal mask over his face. He has an ominous aura—and his very essence feels like a crushing weight. He is _dangerous,_ my body knows this instinctually.

“Who are you?” Rai growls. “Are you responsible for this?” 

The cat claps his hands slowly as a second bubble opens up. A small creature bounds out of this bubble—and he is not a cat. He has platinum hair and a youthful figure, dressed in a garish harlequin clown costume, a green, lizard-like tail flicking behind him. He kneels beside the black figure. 

“I want to congratulate you, Konoe, for passing your first test. I was sure you’d never make it out of the brothel—and now I see you’ve made quite an alliance.” His voice is low and calm—almost pleasant. 

“Wh-who are you?” I ask, still unable to stand. This terrifying cat knows my name.

“My name is Leaks,” the masked cat answers. “And yes, I’m the one who told the devils about you. However, they have failed their task miserably.” 

The black cat extends his hand in front of him and curls his fingers. From each of the stones, the devils emerge, floating up from the earth. They are the last creatures I want to see, and I flinch away fearfully, cowering behind Rai.

“He indeed has an unshakable soul,” Razel says. 

“We have no excuse,” Froud says, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, then my payment is due. I will take your power in exchange for your failure,” Leaks says simply.

“I remember no such agreement!” Kaltz exclaims angrily. 

“Like hell, you will!” Verg says, and he throws a bolt of lightning directly at the black cat. While it’s a perfect shot, it appears as though an invisible wall surrounds Leaks, so it has no effect.

“Resisting is pointless,” Leaks says, stretching out his hand again. He is pulling something like steam or smoke from these devils, and one after another—starting with Kaltz—they each fall to the ground, powerless. In Leaks’ hand, he holds a bright, glowing orb, which he examines carefully, before pressing it to his chest. “Now, begone with you.”

He waves his hand, and the devils disappear into ash, which is absorbed into the earth by the stones—to my utter shock. This cat is a powerful magician indeed.

Rai is watching the scene unfold silently—I’m behind him so I can’t see his expression.

“You’ve managed to entertain me, Konoe. It’s been many years since I’ve had this much fun. Keep in mind, this is a test—a trial of sorts. Be sure to do your best, because once you bore me, the game, and the world itself, will be at an end.” Leaks words are threatening and send terror rushing through me to my very soul.

“Why? Why me? What do you want with me?”

“Don’t complain! This is _wonderful_ news! You should be happy you’ve managed to entertain him so far,” the clown lizard says in a youthful obsequious tone. “Be thankful you’ll live to see another day.”

Rai takes this chance to attack—and he hits Leaks directly with his longsword. But Leaks’ image simply divides into two.

“What the hell?”

“Now is not yet the time,” Leaks says. “I’ll be watching—so be sure to do your very best, Konoe.”

Both figures disappear into the sky in the same way they came, dissolving back into distorted space.

As soon as Leaks is gone, the pressure on my head is relieved, and I feel much better, though I’m still exhausted. Rai sighs. 

“Let’s get you out of here, but you need rest. We won’t make it back to Ransen tonight. We will find a place to camp tonight. I want to know what happened when you passed out,” Rai says quietly, returning his weapons to their scabbards.

He walks over to me and lifts me in his arms.

“Ah—no, I can walk,” I protest.

“Just hush.” Rai will hear none of my protests. We walk past the field, back through the deserted village to the forest on the other side, finding a place to set up camp for the night. Once we settle in, I tell him about my experience in meeting the devils. I also tell him in detail about the dreams I had about the snakes before I was sold to the brothel.

He holds me in his arms while I talk—letting me lie on his lap, while he runs my fingers through my hair and my ears. He appears deep in thought, but I’m so glad he is here with me. I'm glad to be back here with him. I feel safe here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading that huge-long chapter and for waiting for a much overdue update. I was trying to figure out a way to break it up a little, but I couldn't figure out a good way to do it.
> 
> I'll make the next chapter a little more fun. I know, I know--plot development isn't exactly my specialty. If you're reading this for the plot, I'm surprised, but really--I know why you're reading. ;) And I'll put some of that in the next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai and Konoe have some alone-time in the forest, and Rai is pretty sure he needs to take care of his Sanga so he can recover before they return to Ransen. Konoe is having some angst, and they have a little discussion.
> 
> And some sex.

“So, your fur—the restored color...” Rai says.

“What about it?” I ask nervously, afraid he doesn’t like it. Perhaps he really did prefer the black? Will he leave me here, then? I'm too young-looking now?

“It suits you.” He has a smile on his face, watching my expression. “What?”

“Ah—I was afraid you might not like it,” I mumble, feeling slightly self-conscious. 

“It’s very innocent,” Rai marvels. “And it shows your emotions even more obviously. Did you realize that your ears even blush? So cute. Makes me want to lick you. And didn’t I promise you just such a thing earlier today?”

“What? When?” I ask. I'm still lying in his lap, and I start to struggle away.

“You can pretend like you don’t remember,” Rai murmurs. “If you want.” Ignoring my struggle, he lowers his lips to my ears to groom them. “Or you can just bite me and get away if you don’t like it.”

He pulls my body up to sit, my back against his chest. After grooming my ears thoroughly, and he moves down the back of my neck.

“Oy,” I protest slightly, a shiver going through my body. “I thought I’m supposed to be resting...”

“You are. Sleep.” I hear it mumbled in a teasing voice behind me, but Rai has pulled up my shirt so he can groom my neck and spine, and he’s making his way down my back toward my tail. I can hardly sleep when someone is grooming me _and_ I'm sitting up. I can hardly believe he is thinking of such things when we’ve just seen devils disintegrated before our eyes _and_  we’ve discovered the legendary magician Leaks is after me.

“What—what are you doing?”

“I’m grooming you. It’s a natural instinct, passed onto us by our ancestors. And didn’t you pledge yourself to me if I helped you escape? You have no right to complain. If you don’t like it, bite me and escape.” 

I struggle half-heartedly for a little while, but there’s no chance I can escape those arms. It’s futile—he is much too strong, and I’m still exhausted, my energy depleted from my song and the long day we’ve had.

“Um—why are you even like this?” I feel myself blushing as he grasps my tail and runs his tongue along the fur.

“It’s your fault,” he replies, his voice husky and hoarse. “You sang to me—I can’t resist you when you sing—and when you look so innocent and pure I can’t help wanting to ravish you.” 

“Ravish?” Oh shit—I said that word out loud and I know he won’t let that slip up go.

I hear a soft chuckle out loud.

“You know, 'ravish': dirty you up a little bit—make you cry out—watch your body respond. I know I can make you, and those sounds you try so hard to suppress make my ears twitch.”

The way he is touching me is quickly heating up my body—his words have an even greater effect, shooting desire through my core—even despite my exhaustion. 

“Rai—I can’t—” I protest softly. I want his touch, but I feel weak, helpless, vulnerable, unable to reciprocate.

“Just relax,” he whispers, running his claws through my fur, pushing me into the grass on my back, and unbuttoning my pants.

“Ah—wait—what are you d-?”

“Hush,” he whispers again, glancing up at me as he palms me over my underwear, grabbing my tail roughly at the base with his other hand. Lying in the grass and leaves, I’m surrounded by a lush, green, earthy smell and breathless when he takes my erection in hand, licking my shaft suddenly and dropping a kiss on the tip. An embarrassing lewd noise sneaks out of my mouth that would have pleased my handler, Ryo—I can’t help it, and I gasp right after, in both surprise and incredible shame. I cover my mouth with both hands.

“Rai...”

He takes me into his mouth, swallowing me to the hilt, keeping one hand on the base of my tail and moving the other to fur just below my navel. His claws comb through that fur slowly, straightening it in the right direction, brushing against my skin tantalizingly. Yet he gives the base of my tail a frighteningly rough tug.

A low moan, mixed with a growl leaks from my lips at the same time copious amounts of precum leak from my dick into his mouth, the solid, steady vibration of his purr surrounding me. My thighs quiver in need and I want _more_ —the touch from his mouth is gentle and soft, and I want more. I can’t help it—and my ears twitch when I hear a voice: begging, pleading, desperate, and demanding. 

“Ah—more— _please_ —more—” 

Then I realize it’s _my_ voice. I’m the one begging so shamelessly, and I have to _stop_. How can I allow myself to put on such a shameful display in front of this elegant and composed silver cat? I'm his Sanga, and I should be serving him equally! My hips are attempting to thrust upward into his mouth on their own accord, but I’m being held securely—pinned in place by both my belly and my tail, and his weight is heavy on my legs now, too—warm and heavy—but, oh gods, I need _more_ , and I feel such shame.

“Oh, _please_ —Rai—please…” My trembling fingers comb through the silky white strands of hair, spilling over my belly and my hips, as he tilts his face up to watch my disgraceful behavior.

My trousers are slipped lower, and I can feel the prickly grass and dried leaves against my back and my bare legs. The hand holding the base of my tail brushes lightly over my entrance—just lightly—where I was so sore earlier today when we were walking—but  _not anymore_. When I feel the light caress of those fingers, my heart races and pounds so hard I think it might burst, my hips jolt violently, and I _want_ —I want him inside me. I am overcome with need, and I hear myself becoming even more desperate.

As when I was in heat, I don’t recognize my body, and I cry out. I hear him—and feel him—murmur in response—a pleased, satisfied hum—from deep in his throat—when I cry out for him. I can’t believe this—that I am craving this connection so much. I want him to touch me—no—that isn’t it. I _need_ him to touch me.

“ _Please_!” 

He hums again slightly, repeating the brushing of his fingers, and my body shivers in want. I arch my back, struggling to offer myself to him, struggling because I feel like I should let him enter me—but he does not move. I feel frustrated—I want to please him. Isn’t that why he saved me? He can’t only make it about me if he helped me for the purpose of serving him, can he? I’m filled with anxiety, my tail lashing, my ears twitching, my body stiffening. 

“Konoe.”

I stop moving and look up at the pale blue eye staring down at me, mesmerized.

“I want you to _relax_. Will you do that for me? Simply relax and let me serve you—like you did the first night at the inn. Your body needs a rest—and this will help you. Allow me to do this for you.”

“But I want—” I’m still anxious. I won’t be fulfilling my purpose if I do that. I am exhausted, but even if I’m tired, I should—

“I will take care of _all_ your needs, I promise,” Rai says, stroking my face, my cheeks, my hair, my ears. “Calm yourself. You are so worked up, so anxious. I just want to see you to melt into my arms and give yourself over to me. Will you do that?”

“But what about—?” I need to take care of him, too! I can’t let this be so one-sided! He interrupts me, his voice even more attentive than before.

“Konoe. You are _exhausted_ from your trial. You met the _devils_. The curse from your body is lifted, at least for now. You are not used to this level of exertion—your training, our travels, recovering from your handling at the brothel. Plus, your body should _not_ take me again so soon. I don’t want to use you so carelessly. Well,” he looks at me and then away for a moment, “I honestly would _love_ to use you again so soon, but you are my Sanga and I want what is _best_ for you. So. Will you give yourself over to me and submit?” 

Lying here, on the forest floor, I realize what he is asking is really no different from the choices the devils were demanding I make during the trial. I _chose_ to be with him then—struggling to make it back here so I could be with him. I’ve already chosen him. So, why do I hesitate? Am I afraid to submit?

“I’d rather—”

“Konoe, didn’t you agree to do _anything_ if I helped you escape that place?” Rai’s voice is low and gentle, not threatening, even as he brings up my desperate promise from our first night together.

“Um...”

“Didn’t you agree to be my Sanga?”

“I did,” I say.

“It’s my belief that this will help us bond. It will build our trust—specifically, _you_ will learn to trust _me_.” His eye sparkles brilliantly under the night sky. “Understand, I’m _not_ pressuring you into letting me have my way with you. I just want you to relax enough to let me take care of your body tonight. You don’t have to worry about my needs. Do you understand?”

“I understand what you are saying,” I say, but I’m still hesitant.

“What is your concern?” Rai asks, earnestly.

“I feel like I should take care of you, too,” I reply.

Rai takes my chin in his hands. “It isn't that I don't appreciate your care, little one. I do, very much. But listen—and I realize my next question may disturb you, but I’m going to ask it anyway. _Why_? Is it because of your indoctrination at the brothel? Do you fear punishment if you displease me? If you feel pleasure, and you are not doing your best to please me, do you fear physical punishment, perhaps subconsciously?”

Chills crawl down my back when I hear him say these things—not because he is frightening me, but because he knows exactly what is going through my mind, even on a subconscious level. I flinch as though my face has been struck, and I’m so ashamed of myself I cannot meet his gaze. Is this who I’ve become? I thought I’d been improving and yet I am still so weak. Was it really so easy to “indoctrinate” me, as he called it?

“Little one, do not worry.” He sits up, though I’m self-conscious about being so exposed and shamefully aroused. “Your response is natural. Your handler knew exactly what he was doing—he knows how to train young kittens, and you,” he looks up into my eyes as he says “you,” brushing my ears firmly with his hand, flattening them against my head, “—you are a particularly sensitive creature. Their training worked wonders, and quickly, nearly crushing your spirit.”

My ears spring up immediately, perked in his direction, listening for his next words.

“I have an idea as to how to get your spirit back the way it was, but I’m not sure you will appreciate it much.”

“But... I want to get back to the way I was before!” I say urgently.

“So you say. Yet you don’t think you can allow me to care for you tonight?”

“I-I don’t know,” I stutter. I really don’t know what to do!

Rai is suddenly much closer to my body than he was, and I tremble. Am I frightened?

“Are you afraid of me?” Rai asks, just like he's read my mind.

“Oh, n-no,” I stutter—but if that is true, why am I stammering? Why am I trembling? I don’t understand!

“You learn very well with your body,” Rai whispers in one of my ears. “What you learned at the brothel can be unlearned—and I would like to be your teacher. Will you let me be your teacher?” His voice is a low murmur, which I can hardly deny.

“Yes. Of course.”

“And what do you do for a teacher when he asks you to do something?”

“Um, I learn?” I ask, slightly confused.

“Even before that, ridiculous cat,” he scolds me, teasing, stroking my ears again. “Do you _trust_ me? You sang for me, even called out for my help, at the Field of Four Colors. And now, I’ve asked you for one simple thing. Shouldn’t it be easy for you to comply?” 

I look down. It should. I should comply. I am embarrassed, and I feel a flush on my cheeks, climbing into my ears.

“Such a guilty look you have. What would happen at the brothel when you would not obey?”

“I was punished,” I say very quietly.

“I see,” Rai says, though, of course, he already knew this, I’m sure. 

A small gulp is released from my throat. “A-a-are you going to punish me?”

“You see, Konoe, I have been considering the fact that you learn so quickly and thoroughly with this compact little body of yours. Rest assured, I have no plans to treat you cruelly. However, if there were a way I could impress upon you the _urgency_ of our situation, that would be exceedingly helpful.”

“You are going to _punish_ me??” I ask again, frozen in place. I am frightened, now. I think I _am_ shaking with fear.

“Little one, there is no need to be so afraid.” He is still _my_ cat, and he strokes me just as gently as before. “I was only thinking if there were a way to encourage you to obey me, to trust me when I ask for your trust. Because in battle, you need to support me, sometimes in the heat of the moment, don’t you?” He points my chin directly toward his face, stroking my chin gently and then moving his hand to my tail.

“Well, yes, but _this_ isn’t a battle,” I reply.

“It isn’t. However, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to learn to trust me and let me care for you when your power is depleted. Your song depletes your energy, and it’s only right for me—as your Touga—to care for you when that happens.”

His words make a lot of sense. I sigh, but I don’t say anything.

“Are you starting to see reason?” he asks lightly, a small smile on his face. “Then let me help you—we can start retraining your body. I would like you to submit yourself to me—completely. Just relax and enjoy the sensations. All right? It’s the least I can do. Because,” he interrupts his honest discussion with a small kiss to my ears, “when you sing for me, there isn’t anything like it in the world that compares to that feeling.” 

Heat flows into my ears at the compliment, but I rather enjoy the words he is saying. I guess I didn’t realize how much he loves the song—no, _my_ song. I haven’t quite come to terms with the fact that I am a Sanga, I suppose. So perhaps, just for tonight…

“All right.” My voice is quiet and tentative.

“Good. Because I could take more drastic measures to convince you,” Rai says, smirking at me. 

“What kind of drastic measures?” I ask, surprised by his comment.

“I can be quite persuasive when I need to be,” he says, cryptically.

“What do you mean?” I press.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should tell you. Wouldn’t it ruin the surprise?”

Surprise? I don’t think so. To me, it feels like dread.

“Your face—” Rai laughs now, a genuine laugh. “I wouldn’t hurt you, Konoe. I _promise_ I won't hurt you. However…” and he lowers his voice to something much sexier now, “I have to admit that the very first time I met you, what I witnessed was quite a sight, and has been seared in my mind in a fantasy I replay quite frequently. The thought of doing something like that to you myself has taken quite a hold of my heart.” 

The first time we met? When was that? What was happening? At the brothel, I’m sure? Oh—it was the second night I was on display, and Razel was there—and I was being paddled by the owner—and Rai interfered on my behalf—and my mind freezes and my entire body goes rigid. Is he talking about the spanking? My fur bristles, my tail lashes, and my eyes widen.

“It seems you remember now?” Rai looks at me, somewhat mischievously.

“But you interceded for me!” I protest. Is he saying what I think he is saying? Does he want to _spank_ me?

“I did. What was done to you was nothing more than brutality. What _I_ have in mind is much more... _intimate_ ,” he lowers his lips to my ears, his breath moving the downy fur inside slightly as he speaks.

“Intimate?” I echo, and my body feels a little strange.

“Yes. I wouldn’t use an implement. I’d use my hand. And I’d take you over my knee, touching your bare skin.” As if to demonstrate, he gently caresses the skin of my ass with his hand. “I think I could make you feel very good, but yet also persuade you to do what I suggest.”

I’m suddenly remembering several times I was spanked at the brothel—the time with Verg and the time Ryo strapped me after biting Froud—and I actually came during those punishments. The thought of this silver cat touching me this way sends a little shiver through my body—right where he is touching me and then spreading outward—into my back and tail, bristling my fur. It’s rather obvious. Rai chuckles.

“It would seem your body agrees with me.”

“N-no,” I whisper, and I feel that blush spreading out even further. Why am I so embarrassed?

“So—what will it be? Will you submit yourself to me? Or do you need a little more _persuasion_?” His voice is laced with a mix of teasing and desire. 

“I-I will submit,” I say, lowering my eyes. As much as the image of being dragged across his lap and having him lay hands on me is incredibly erotic, I just can’t bear the mortification today.

“I promise I will make it worth your while, Konoe,” he whispers in my ears. “Let me take care of you. Close your eyes, relax your body, don’t think about anything except my touch.”

Those words make my heart flutter—that commanding voice makes me shiver. His hands sweep across my eyes, encouraging them to close. I comply, and a heavy sensation covers me—I think he has moved, I feel a heavy weight on my lower thighs, and I feel a soft, silky touch against the bare skin on my hip—it must be his tail. 

He pushes my shirt up with both hands—exposing my body fully now—and I flush brightly with embarrassment to be so revealed. It isn’t as though he hasn’t seen my body naked before. But what happens next surprises me a little.

He begins stripping off my clothes quickly and efficiently.

I open my eyes in surprise—and my mouth starts to protest.

“Wait—you don’t need to—uh—why—?”

“I want to see you—I want to see what you look like—in your true colors. Your fur mesmerizes me. I want to see it against your skin. Just submit. Relax.”  
  
Blood floods my face and ears, and he touches the tips of my ears, and he whispers, almost murmuring to himself, “Pink—I never thought you’d have _pink_ ears. They are adorable. You are fascinating—beautiful—perfect.”

When I look up at his face, his eye is full of heat and passion—he looks entranced. Could that be the case? I don’t understand—could he really be admiring me? Could I really captivate such a creature?

I’m amazed and intrigued. I relax my body, like I promised I would, as Rai pulls my shirt off overhead. He is sitting on top of me and just stares at me for a moment—looking at me from my ears down to… well, I blush when I see where he is looking, and I look away. But he still smiles down at me.

“Such a shy kitten.” He lightly drags both his hands down my sides—claws drawn—leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake and sending a shudder of desire through my body. An unintentionally loud gasp of pleasure leaves my mouth without permission, and I bite my lip to silence it.

“Don’t hold yourself back.” Rai presses a finger against my bottom lip, then touches my fangs. “I love the sound of your voice. Just submit your body to me—everything—your voice, too. Let yourself go, Konoe—give yourself to me. If you don’t…”

“What?” My question comes out rather breathlessly. 

“If you don’t, I will _make_ you.” He has a sexy smile on his face—it’s not a threat—he’s teasing—yet my body responds instantly—and another lewd sound comes out of me. 

“Don’t say stuff like that!” I blurt, still trying to cover up the strange noises coming out of me.

“You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot say—not when you’re in _this_ position. I’m still finding you somewhat resistant. Have you changed your mind again, capricious cat?” He leans over me, his hair sweeping over my chest, and he sticks out his tongue, dragging it down my neck, dropping a trail of kisses in its wake.

Despite my feelings of resistance and my desire to remain independent, I’m shocked by my reaction. I lift up my chin, exposing my neck instantly, demonstrating total submission. I don’t know _why_ I do this—it’s as if my body reacted on its own, without my permission. I also drop my arms to the sides, allowing my belly to show in its entirety—yet another act of submission, but I do not drop my gaze. 

His eye dilates fully—which sends another rush of blood directly to my waist. His eye changes from pale blue to nearly all black, framed with long, lush eyelashes. He is _very_ pleased, it seems.

“That’s a good boy,” he whispers, and he leans down, nipping my throat—following each pinching bite with a gentle lick. He follows the line of my throat to my sternum, biting and licking my collarbone in the same fashion. The rough touch from his mouth releases a fresh frenzy of sounds from my mouth which I no longer attempt to suppress, as embarrassing as it is. It's so lewd and desperate.

He drops his mouth lower and lower on my body, licking my nipples and pulling them slightly between his teeth. The pain—and it _is_ slightly painful—does nothing but add to my heightened state of arousal, however, and I love it. Instead of anxiety and stress, I allow myself to melt into the sensations. I do not struggle beneath his touch—and the act of allowing him to touch me—however he likes, whatever he might like to do to me—is even more thrilling to my body.

That rough tongue delves into my belly button, and my back curves, pressing into the grass. An overwhelming ticklish sensation at first, Rai changes it into something much more indulgent when he drags his claws through the fur below my navel, and I begin to purr, loud and wet. I hum contentedly and in anticipation, especially when his lips and tongue replace his claws, which move lower still. 

His claws retract carefully before he touches my dick, but he teases me before giving me what I really crave. His lips brush against my hip bones, which are stripped of all clothing—my pants are pushed to my knees. His heavy weight is resting lower on my body, on my lower legs.

Trying to keep myself submissive, I try not to beg. However, I am soon desperate. His hands are stroking everywhere around my legs and hips—except for my cock. He is licking and kissing me—everywhere but my cock. And then I feel a soft kiss at the very tip of my dick, and precum gushes out in response—not just a few drops, either, but like it’s been waiting for his touch. 

“Ah!” I nearly scream. 

“Feeling a little desperate?” His voice, rumbling from between my legs, makes my fur bristle and my spine tingle.

“Please…” I beg, in a quiet voice, trying to keep my hips pressed against the ground, but my efforts are in vain. I am no longer in control of my own body. When his tongue licks me from base to tip, a growl comes out of my mouth, any earlier embarrassment now completely forgotten. “Please! Don’t tease me!”

“Silly kitten,” Rai smiles at me—a passionate gaze on his face—and I notice a different expression there. It looks slightly unfamiliar, one I haven’t seen from him. What is this? I’ve seen it before, but not from him, and not in a long, long time. It’s soft, gentle, tolerant, and… _loving_? Is it love? Does Rai _love_ me? Is that why he wants to tend to me?

When the thought goes through my desire-addled brain, something cracks open inside of my chest, painfully, and tears overflow from my eyes. From inside the crack—deep inside my heart—a new melody rings out—fresh, clear, and sweet. It sounds like a song of spring—a song that could melt snow and make flowers grow—a melody that could blossom trees that have survived a harsh winter. And this song pours out of my body, out of my soul and out of my heart.

Rai has just wrapped his mouth around me, wasting no time in seeing to my pleasure, like he promised he would—but he is momentarily caught up in the vibration of the song, and I can see his ears twitch. The tiny tendrils of light touch his fur, play in the silver strands of hair and caress his face.

The song says—clearly and in no uncertain terms— _I love you_.

And that is all. His purr deepens till it’s as wet and as lewd as my own—and it takes only minutes for him to finish me to completion. His hands behind me at the base of my tail and lightly brushing over the top of my entrance, but not pressing inside, he swallows me completely and controls me with his mouth alone.

When I open my eyes—my song has lit up the entire forest surrounding us—as bright as a bonfire—and it exposes me fully. But I am not ashamed. I am enjoying him—his touch—my submission without subjugation—his acceptance of me. And it _isn’t_ simple acceptance. This is love. This cat is touching me because he _loves_ me.

And I love him, too.

It’s already nearly as bright around us as it would be at noon, but soon, my eyes reflexively squeeze closed as my climax overtakes me—I come with a cry. I sound almost like I am sobbing, and really, I have tears running down my face. But they are tears of joy. The sensations are confused in my body—I can’t tell if it’s light or warmth or pleasure infusing my body, or a mix of everything—and it feels like that mix of pleasure and light shoots out from the tips of my fingers, my toes, my ears, and my tail—and Rai swallows up every drop, licking my sensitive member with gentleness and care. His rough tongue makes me shiver—I can almost feel the bumps on the surface of his tongue, it seems.

I curl up my body around him, cradling his head on my lap, sighing and purring contentedly, the light and my melody still continuing for a few minutes. I have my eyes closed, but something that feels like velvet suddenly brushes my cheek and startles me. I open my eyes, and it feels like I have been transported to a different place entirely. The tree above us is changed. Formerly it had only a few scattered orange and red leaves remaining on its branches—I’m lying on some of them, in fact. Now, it has burst into a full bloom of soft, pale pink. It’s a cherry tree, I believe, and the branches swaying in the cold evening breeze, the petals falling off the tree around us like snow.

“What is this?” I ask.

Rai looks up, and there are several pink petals caught in his hair. At first, I think I should remove them. But on second thought, I don’t. He is beautiful just like that. And he doesn’t know they are there. They make him look softer and younger—and gentle. _Like the cat who loves me_ , I think.

“Did your song do this?” Rai asks in amazement. He holds a hand up to catch a few petals as they float down to the forest floor. He brushes a few petals out of my hair, a soft smile on his face. Then his expression changes to something much sharper.

“What?” I ask, flattening my ears fearfully. Did I displease him? 

“You sang,” he says. “ _Again_. Even though I specifically _told_ you to rest and relax. You are going to exhaust yourself.” Yet he hides his smile.

“I couldn’t help it!” I exclaim. “It was a new song, and it just came out on its own—like words that simply must be said.” That is spoken much more quietly.

“I heard your message loud and clear,” Rai whispers directly into my ear. Then, he continues in a teasing tone, “You know, black really does make things look smaller. It seems white has the opposite effect. I’ve never seen a cat with ears as big as yours. However, for as large as they are, they don’t seem to serve any functional purpose whatsoever!”

“What?” I ask, realizing I’ve just been insulted.

“I ask you to do _one_ thing, and do you comply? Of _course_ not. It seems these are _only_ for decoration. However...” he licks each ear in turn loudly, his rough tongue invading their inner depths, “they certainly are a _beautiful_ decoration. And how they turn pink when you’re being shy—I wouldn’t have them any other way.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai and Konoe head back to Ransen to find out information on Leaks. Konoe is glad to be back to his original self but finds he is anxious and exhausted from his journey. His Touga cares for him at Bardo’s inn—seeing that he gets a warm meal and a bath, and tries to comfort him a little.
> 
> (Long time no update, and this is sort of a fluffy, plotless update here.)

Rai lets me sleep tomorrow morning—and I do sleep quite well, even out in the woods. I wake in a bed of pink flower petals, and I remember the tree from last night. I know I went to sleep mostly naked in his arms last night—the thought embarrasses me a little—but I’m dressed now. I give a nice long stretch and I realize I feel better than I have in a long time.

After I stretch, my tail comes into view. Its caramel colored tip makes it look so much bigger, and I’m startled to find myself back to my usual self. It feels good, and I just feel... happy. My heart almost aches with joy, actually—especially when I see my Touga looking down at me. 

“Are you finally awake?” Rai has a few pink petals stuck in his silver mane, and they look so cute there that I don’t take them out.“It sounds like you slept well.”

“What?” I ask, confused by his comment—and then I hear it. I’m purring—incredibly loudly, almost embarrassingly so. “Oh—yeah, I did.” I try to quiet myself and I can’t. A purr isn’t something a Ribika can control, really. It just comes out on its own and stops on its own—it isn’t like I should be embarrassed. But I still feel slightly shy.

And then I think, I’m feeling shy because I’m purring loud this morning? What about the sounds I made last _night_? I put on quite a spectacle. Shouldn’t I be more embarrassed by _that_ than my purr? I feel my face heating up as I’m pulling on my boots, and I keep my eyes lowered.

Why do I feel so strange? 

Rai walks up to me and pulls me to my feet, and we head back to the city. It’s a pretty quiet walk, and Rai appears to be thinking. I wonder about some of the things that Leaks said—why he has it out for me, what all of this means, what we should do next. And I’m feeling anxious. 

“What should we do now?” I ask, trying not to let my anxiety show too much. “Do you think we should look for Leaks when we get back to Ransen? I know my body looks cured, but still...” 

“Konoe, if he wanted to kill you, he would have done it yesterday,” Rai says. “We saw what he did to those devils. Leaks is powerful. He needs you alive for some reason. I think we should see what information we can gather on him and keep training you as a Sanga. We are going to need as much power as possible if we expect to confront him and win. I’m sure he will come for you.”

His words aren’t exactly comforting. But Rai is with me now—and the curse appears to be broken. I feel much safer in Rai’s presence than outside of it.

“Thank you,” I say softly, hoping my voice reaches him. I walking slightly behind him on the path—mostly because he is leading the way, I think, but also because he is so used to walking alone. I watch his ears twitch in response to my words. 

“For what?” 

“I would _never_ have been able to get through the trial with the devils without you,” I say plainly. “I’d also still be at that brothel—that is, if they hadn’t killed me yet. So, thank you.” 

Rai stops in his tracks quite suddenly and turns his body toward mine, catching me up in his arms. I’m not really expecting it, so my fur fluffs out suddenly, and I’m caught off guard andlook up at him in surprise. With his other hand, he touches my chin gently and kisses me on the mouth. I relax, letting his tongue sweep across my teeth and delve into my mouth—and easier than anything, more comfortable and sweeter than anything—it’s that sensation. I _love_ how he kisses. It makes my spine tingle.

It isn’t till my boots crunch against the leaves that I realize that he has lifted me off the ground to kiss me so deeply. I’m still looking up at his face, looking at that pale blue eye—clear and confident—and he smiles. 

“I’m sure I can come up with something you can do for me to... express your thanks.” 

I feel completely flustered by his comment and I blush furiously, looking away. He chuckles lightly and pets my ears gently. 

“Pink. How irresistible.” 

I crook up an eyebrow. He’s one to talk. He’s still got cherry blossom petals tangled in his hair, and I don’t say a thing. I try not to act annoyed—and I’m not really. I know he is teasing me. 

When we arrive in the city, I realize it feels different. Much quieter after the festival, and I don’t feel like I have to hide anymore—my cursed self—I’m just a regular cat. I can explore a little if I want to. 

“Oy, don’t wander off,” Rai says, his voice a little sharp. It surprises me slightly—but I obey. It just feels good to be able to walk on my own. Perhaps I’ll do some exploring tomorrow. 

We make it back to Bardo’s inn just after the dinner hour.

“Do you always stay here?” I ask once the inn is in view. 

“I don’t,” Rai admits. “But this time and last, I knew I’d have a cute kitten with me, and I wanted to keep you away from my usual crowd.”

“Oh?” I feel slightly offended, I think, and my ears droop a little. “Even though the curse has been lifted now?” 

“Actually, _especially_ now that the curse has been lifted,” Rai says. “You’d generate a little too much interest and a lot of gossip, especially since I usually travel alone.”

He’s looking out for me? My ears perk up again, and he turns back to meet my gaze. 

“Don’t let it go to your head,” he teases.

I give him my softest smile and follow him inside. 

Bardo is sitting at the desk, reading a book. He glances up to Rai’s sharp demand for a room. 

“That was fast. Did you two eat? I can heat up leftovers—the little one probably needs food—” and he suddenly stops speaking, the moment he lays eyes on me. I recognize that look—I saw it over and over again while in the lobby at the brothel—undisguised sexual interest—but it shocks me to see it here, from the innkeeper, directed so openly at me. I do not remember seeing it before.

“Don’t even _think_ about it, old man,” Rai growls. “I’m fine but heat this guy a plate. I’ll come down and get it in about fifteen minutes. He’s exhausted. He needs a warm meal  and a safe place to sleep.” 

Bardo is still staring at me—ogling me—when Rai barks at him again.

“Come on, old man! It’s not as though you’ve never seen a kitten before! Get yourself together and fix him a plate!”

“You’re right, I know—I’m sorry, it’s just—it’s not like that—I didn’t realize...” Bardo’s voice trails off.

I’m embarrassed to be causing a scene and make things a thousand times worse when I look down at my feet and blush. My cheeks heat up and my ears get warm, and I feel them filling with blood. 

A strange, strangled comes from Bardo. 

“His ears are _pink_.” The words are almost whispered. I feel a large, broad hand stroking my ears—and the hand is _not_ Rai’s.

“Get your hands _off_ of him before I _make_ you,” Rai growls. “Go fix him a plate. I’ll see that he’s comfortable.”

“Does he need a warm bath? I have a tub, and if it’s the two of us, we could fill it up quickly with hot water,” Bardo suggests.

Rai pauses a moment, seeming to get a hold of his temper. 

“I have some herbs we can add to the water that will help him sleep, too. Poor kitten looks exhausted.” 

“All right. Let me put our things down first. Don’t you lay a finger on him.”

“Come on, little guy, let’s get you settled.” I follow Bardo into the kitchen, keeping my distance warily. I’m confused as to why he is acting so weird around me. 

Bardo pulls out a large basin and starts heating up several containers of water on the stove—one after the other. He presses me down onto a bench while I wait, asking me what food sounds good—fish or chicken? Bread or potatoes? Green beans or asparagus? And he starts dumping hot water into the steel tub. He also throws in some packets of herbs. The tub fills with hot water quite quickly, and I look at the steam longingly.

I’m not that cold, but the idea of soaking in hot water sounds really nice.

“Go ahead and get in,” Bardo urges. “You can eat in there, and we will keep adding water.”

I don’t really want to take off my clothes in front of Bardo, but he’s been kind enough to prepare this for me. I wander behind the tub—it’s nearly as tall as my belly button—and I pull off my apron and sash, folding them and setting them neatly on the bench. Next, I pull off both boots and socks. Bardo throws a glance my way, catching my blushing face again. 

“You’re such a shy little thing. How the hell were you ever expected to make it in that brothel?” 

“They beat me till I would submit,” I answer.

”Oh. I see.” Bardo looks a little sorry for asking.

To my relief, Rai comes back downstairs, but he is having none of my shy behavior.

“You are going to catch your death. It’s cold in here. Get in the water, quickly now,” Rai says briskly, and he starts divesting me of my clothing quickly, piece by piece, pulling off my shirt roughly, and then my pants and underwear. I’m taken aback, my fur bristled, and I’m a little frightened. 

I step into the tub—and it’s hot—while keeping my eyes on the silver cat, who is glancing between me and Bardo—who is also watching me. 

“Can’t you keep your eyes on your work?” Rai snaps at the older cat. 

“The eye is naturally drawn to movement,” Bardo says—and my tail _is_ moving around rather lewdly.

Rai catches it in his hand, pinching the tip playfully. He gives me a little grin, before dunking it in the water.

“Get this thing warmed up,” he murmurs, and then he moves around to the other side of the tub, standing between the bathtub and Bardo to block his view.

“Well, movement, youth, and what is naturally lovely,” Bardo remarks. “You can’t blame me. He’s awfully pretty with his color restored. But don’t you feel a little guilty?” 

“Guilty? Why?” Rai looks up sharply. “What is there to feel guilty about?”

“His age—he looks like a kitten! How old did you say you were, Konoe?” 

“What?” I blurt, looking down at the water. It smells nice—like herbs and a little like flowers. It smells good. "I’m 16. I’m of age.” I lower myself into the water to soak my hair.

“Your ears look even larger now,” Bardo points out, and my hands wander to the top of my head. Is there something _wrong_ with my ears?

“My ears are normal! It’s _you_ who has the funny looking, nubby ears!” 

My tail gets a sharp tug—hard enough to slosh the water around my hips. I’d forgotten how close Rai was to me!

“Uwaa!” I shout—nearly falling backward in the tub. “I wasn’t talking about yours. I _like_ yours. I think they are _cute_.”

“ _Cute_?” Rai growls. He is a huge cat—I always forget—and he towers over me, now cowering in the tub. “You find my ears _cute_?”

“Well, yes,” I admit, “though they aren’t very functional...”

Smirking slightly, he pinches the soft, fleshy part of my ass under the water, and I yelp loudly.

“They _aren’t_!” I protest. “You are _not_ a good listener.”

Rai shampoos my hair while I soak in the tub. I had this done for me at the brothel, too—but it didn’t feel like this. Rai’s fingers have touched my body all over and they know how to make me feel good. And it’s no different when he’s massaging the shampoo into my hair and fur. I start to feel very relaxed. 

“Hand me your tail,” he says quietly.

I sit up a little straighter and do what he asks, and he massages the shampoo into my fur the same way—paying extra attention to the base of my tail if I’m not mistaken. It feels so good—I have to press my lips together to make sure no sound accidentally escapes. 

Fresh warm water rinses the shampoo and he follows with another product—he calls it conditioner—for my hair and tail. It smells minty, too, and I’m feeling really weird now—almost like I’m floating. 

This time, I don’t bother suppressing the nice sounds that slip from between my lips when he massages my ears and hair and tail. 

“You did very well for your first quest, Konoe,” Rai murmurs. “I’m very proud of you. We learned a lot, and you performed your part very well.”

Those words of praise, while spoken quietly, make me feel good—they make me feel like I’m on top of the world like I could do anything!I want so much to please this cat.

“Let’s get you a warm meal,” Rai says. 

Bardo brings over the plate and spoons some mashed potatoes into my mouth. They are delicious! I’m warming up from the outside and inside now!

The chicken is also good, and the bath water makes me feel funny. My head feels huge—like it’s floating away from my body.

Rai is feeding me now, saying something unpleasant to Bardo. 

“Please,” I whisper. Please don’t fight. It scares me.” I feel very weird.

Rai rubs my back gently—it doesn’t occur to me any more than I’m naked, either. 

“Is it possible those herbs are affecting him a little bit much? It seemed like they worked on him well earlier, so I thought I’d try them in the bath. His pupils are totally blown, but shit, he looks cute like that, doesn’t he?” 

I’ve eaten most of the food on my plate now, and Rai barks at Bardo to get more hot water so he can rinse me off. I haven’t felt this good in a really long time. I keep staring at Rai and thinking about how nice it would be to touch him—lick his ears, run my fingers through his hair... 

And suddenly, a bucket of hot water is dumped over my hair to rinse the conditioner. I wasn’t expecting it, and I choke on the water. It hurts my feelings a little, to be honest. I feel tears filling my eyes. 

Rai says, “Stand up, let’s get that tail, too.” 

I obey right away, but I’m looking at him with my hurt expression.

And he stares at me and smiles suddenly. 

“What is this face? You are making me feel like I did something terrible to you.” 

“I had no warning about the water you dumped so carelessly on my head—I almost drowned,” I say sadly. My bottom lip sticks out quite far. I’m really hurt. 

Rai tries to hide his smile. He changes his voice to something more gentle.

“I’m so sorry, little one. Maybe I can make it up to you. Will you let me dry you off—before the water gets cold?”

Turning to Bardo, Rai says, “Please make him a cup of warm milk and honey. I’ll be back down to get it in a few minutes.”

He wraps me up in a towel and then also dries my hair carefully—being very gentle. 

However, instead of helping me out of the tub, he lifts me out, cradling me in his arms. He carries me upstairs to our room, cuddling me close.

Bringing me into the room—there’s a large bed in the center, and he sets me down in the middle. He also closes the window, and I notice the room is lit by guiding leaves, giving it a pale green glow.

I stretch out on the bed, losing my towel in the process.

“You are going to freeze if we don’t warm you up soon.” 

“Will _you_ warm me up?” I ask, scooting closer to the bed.

“It would be my pleasure. But first, let’s get your hair and fur in order,” Rai answers.

He brushes through my hair and my fur—while I kneel naked on the bed. I try to control the urge I have to climb into his lap, but I fail at least twice. I’m hypnotized by the feeling of the brush on my tail, however, and he pushes me gently down to the bed.

“I’m going to get you a warm drink, Konoe. It will help warm you up inside, too. Stay here, all right?” 

“OK,” I say. My tail thumps somewhat impatiently on the bed behind me, and I watch Rai’s fluffy white tail follow him from the room. I hear him walk down the hall and down the stairs, and after that, the sounds of his boots on the floor fade out. And I’m distracted by something at the window.

It’s closed to keep the cold air out—but the curtains are open. It doesn’t matter since we are on the second floor. But I caught movement out there, and my eyes were drawn to it. When I look a little closer, I see a dark figure floating in mid-air, right outside our window. That can’t be right!

Worse, there is something disturbing about this figure, and seeing him makes me feel comfortable—specifically, it upsets my stomach. But curiosity again gets the best of me, and I get up from the bed, walking closer to the window. Of course, I keep it closed.

And when I look outside, I see nothing. It must have been my imagination. And just as I turn to get back on the bed, I hear a sound: tap-tap-tap, against the glass.

It scares me out of my wits, and I jump, bristling all my fur. I turn back to the window, and just to the side, a head pokes around—and the face is wearing a black mask, covering him from his nose up to his forehead. Even in the dim light, I can tell his messy hair is bright green, and he’s got two sets of horns on his head, one looks suspiciously like insect antennae. I can’t believe it! It’s _Froud_ —right outside the window, wiggling his fingers at me in a friendly, creepy wave!

Didn’t Leaks kill him? I’m sure I saw him turned to dust!

I start yelling—for Rai—desperately—and at the top of my lungs. Of course, the minute I do, Froud disappears. But Rai comes charging in immediately—a look of concern on his face. 

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?”

I stutter and stammer at first, and he puts his arms around me and carries me back to bed.

“I’m with you now. Tell me what you saw.” 

“F-Froud. The devil of joy—floating outside the window. He’s _alive_!” I burst out. 

Rai looks at me strangely, but not in disbelief. He heads over to the window and looks out.

“Could it be the catnip? Are you sure that’s what you saw? I don’t see anything.” 

“I’m sure, Rai! He tapped on the glass and smiled at me! I know it! And he was just floating there—and then he flew away! What if they are still after me—what if that was just a ruse and they are still working with Leaks?”

“Konoe,” Rai walks over to the bed. “First, you need to calm down. Getting worked up like this isn’t going to help you think clearly. You need to relax. Second, I’m here with you. You are _not_ alone, okay? You are _safe_ with me. And you managed to beat them once on your own—even without my help. With my help, you will be fine.”

He strokes my head softly.

“Now, drink this,” he says, pressing a mug into my hands. It smells delicious—it’s warm and it makes me relax. “I’ll see to this fur of yours.”

He grabs the brush again and begins working it through the fur on my tail—from the base all the way to the tip. He uses repeated, short strokes, which feels wonderful. He also uses the brush on the fur on my ears, which feels nice—but the skin there is slightly more sensitive, so he uses a lighter touch. He detangles my hair with his claws and then runs the brush through it as well. 

I’ve finished my milk by now and feel like jello, leaning back into Rai’s lap, which I’m sure doesn’t make it any easier to brush through my hair.

“Are you sleepy? You must be exhausted from the journey,” Rai asks softly. “Did I work you too hard?”

“Mmm,” I murmur.

“Come, let’s get you to bed, kitten.” 

He pushes me over to the side of the bed while he untucks the blankets, and then rolls me back underneath them. I comply—I really feel like I can hardly move.

Rai chuckles a little.

“You know, you’re quite vulnerable right now, aren’t you?” he comments happily. “I could do just about anything to you, and you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”

My ears flatten for a second before they perk up.

“And what would you do to me?”

I open my eyes and am treated to the sight of the silver cat pulling off his shirt over his head. He strips off his pants as well, making sure to set his weapons within easy reach of the bed. He has no shame in his body—and he shouldn’t. He is so attractive. I would very much like to feel his body cuddled up next to mine, though—even as tired as I am. 

“Ah—you’re too tired for me to do anything to you,” Rai says, a soft smile on his face. He climbs into bed next to me, and when I feel him slip in beside me, pulling me close to him, I realize he must have slipped out of his underwear before getting into bed, leaving us both naked. “It wouldn’t be fun. So you just sleep.”

Pulling me up close to his chest, so my back is warmed by him, he begins grooming my ears—slowly, not urgently. Just the kind of grooming to show a gentle affection and belonging. It kind of makes my chest feel heavy, and I love the sensation. 

My eyelids grow even heavier and I allow them to flutter closed, listening to his breath in my ear, the rumbling purr of his body, my own softer purr in response, the slow beating of my heart, and thinking of nothing except where I am right now.

Strangely, I feel a heavy push on my chest—these must be Rai’s emotions, I think. I try so hard to keep myself from experiencing the feelings of others. But I relax my defenses for just a moment. I love this silver cat, and I’ve seen in his heart when I sing. 

Instead of a torrent of feelings, I feel a gently flowing river of comfort, warmth, belonging, and love. Also, desire—there’s a heavy feeling of desire laced in with those feelings, which surprises me with its ferocity and power. It makes me shiver a little, but I don’t dislike it. It makes me feel attractive.

I will be okay. If Rai is with me, it doesn’t really matter what is to come—devils, Leaks, the end of the world. If Rai is on my side—like this—I can face anything.

Those are my last thoughts as I drift off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I thought this work was abandoned! Nope--it's a much-needed update!
> 
> Spoiler alert: if you haven't played the game, don't read this chapter. It takes some dialog *directly* from the game. Of course, my work will be slightly different because of Konoe's prior experience. But I thought I should warn you.

I wake up the next morning alone in our room, well rested and cozy. I get up, wash my face, use the restroom, and pull on my clothes, and then wander downstairs to the dining room. Bardo seems to be expecting me. 

“Rai went out early this morning, to do some reconnaissance,” he explains. “He said you’re welcome to wander around on your own this morning, but make sure you’re back by lunchtime.”

Not having those black ears and tail that stand out so much anymore, not to mention those cursed markings carved into my wrists and ankles, makes me feel so much lighter. So after a light breakfast, I head out into the busy street. My heart feels much lighter, too—a weight has been lifted—though I know Leaks is the source of all of this and he isn’t through with me. However, right now, I look like a regular cat—no one stares at me. It’s refreshing.

I haven't gotten a chance to look around before, so I just wander around, slowly looking at all the merchandise on display. There is so much for sale—a variety of goods and food—more than I have ever seen, even from Tokino or his father. I mean, they could only bring what they could carry on their backs.

However, as I pass by a narrow alley, a hand reaches out from behind me while I am distracted by all the pretty items, covering my mouth, and drags me away from the main street. No one will notice if one cat goes missing, and no one sees my pathetic struggle, and I do struggle desperately.

I’m dragged deep into the narrow alley, between two large buildings, and I find myself face to face with the four creatures I _least_ expect to see: the devils I saw Leaks destroy the day before yesterday! Verg, the devil of pleasure, is the one who had his hands on me, and he is standing behind me now, blocking my escape.

“Yo, sensitive kitty,” his low voice growls.

For a moment, I wonder if I might be dreaming. This  _has_ to be a dream. I _saw_ Leaks incinerate these devils to ash! 

“This is no dream,” Razel, the devil of wrath answers my thought. Perhaps I spoke aloud? Or no... they can read my thoughts. I'd forgotten. What are they all _doing_ here? Is this all a part of Leaks’ plan? Is my reprieve really this short-lived?

“You seem surprised! You thought Leaks killed us back then? Well, he definitely killed something: our powers,” Froud, the devil of joy, laughs in a carefree tone.

“Powers?” I echo, flattening my ears.

“He robbed us of our magical powers. Now we can only use them to about a third of their original extent,” Kaltz, the devil of grief, explains. 

“He robbed us of our dignity as devils, that bastard sorcerer!” Verg sputters angrily.

Unable to comprehend the situation and flustered myself, as well as nervous from being manhandled off the street in such an impolite manner, words I don’t really mean to say fall from my lips. 

“You’re making this up.”

“What?” Verg asks, obviously upset with my accusation, taking another step closer to me. He’s intending to intimidate me with his size, and it’s working. He towers over me and glares down at me. “Exactly what _part_  are we making up?”

“Isn’t this one of Leaks’ traps?” I ask accusingly. I’m not stupid—but I’m starting to realize I’m very much alone—Rai is _not_ with me—and I’m hopelessly outnumbered. I can't even escape by running away! 

“Hey now,” Verg replies defensively. “You cats are just like your human ancestors. You decide for yourself what is good and what’s evil without any evidence or even being sure, and _we_ end up the victims. Plus you can lie with a straight face.”

“After what he has been put through, it probably can’t be helped that he sees us as bad,” Kaltz cuts in, almost as if excusing me. “Believing what we say just like that is probably impossible.”

Verg clicks his tongue. “How kind of you, Mr. Kaltz!”

“Stop it, you two,” Froud intervenes. “Little kitty is afraid, isn’t he?”

“Shut up. I didn’t even want to work with you guys!” Verg snaps.

Razel holds out his hand to silence Verg, who clicks his tongue again in dissatisfaction, turning his face away. I'm a little surprised to see their discord.

“You’re probably surprised to see us, aren't you? Is there something you want to ask us?” Razel questions me calmly, his clear blue eyes meeting mine. I feel slightly hypnotized, just like I remember during that horrible trial.

I’m filled with terror—I _saw_ them die—I _saw_ their bodies disintegrate into ash! What was that? A memory? A dream, then? Because now, they are standing before me! Of _course_ , I have questions! I feel sweat on the palms of my hands and my stomach is in knots when I remember the pain they inflicted on me at the brothel. Yet I swallow my fear and open my mouth. 

“You say this isn’t one of Leaks traps, so why aren’t you guys dead then?” 

“He likely only wanted our power,” Verg answers.

“We weren’t on good terms with Leaks, to begin with,” Froud says.

“Huh?” a small, dumb-sounding noise comes out of my mouth involuntarily.

“Our interests coincided, so we worked together for a time. We are under no obligation to him,” Kaltz explains further.

“But if that’s the case,” I begin, the logical conclusion is that they should be dead, right?

“See, if we live, it’s of great benefit to Leaks,” Froud says, a smile on his face.

“What do you mean?” I ask. I really do not understand what any of them are saying.

“It’s like this,” Verg says. He extends those long arms of his and pulls me toward his chest. I have just enough time to pull my sword this time and point it at his throat.

“Let me go!” I growl.

“I don’t think so.” Verg totally and annoyingly ignores the blade I’m holding at his throat, and he buries his face in my hair and licks my ear. His long tongue is wet and disgusting, giving me chills. It reminds me of what he put me through during that trial! I’m totally grossed out! It makes my entire body shiver and tremble.

“Ooooh, so sensitive! Just like I remember,” he purrs softly, also into my ear. “Though you smell different—like you’ve been spending some time with a certain other cat.” Those words are frightfully jealous sounding, much to my surprise. 

“Hmm. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Froud interrupts, thank the gods.

As soon as Verg relaxes his arms, I thrust myself away as quickly as possible. I keep my sword drawn, but I just _have_ to wipe my ear with the back of my hand. Verg stands there, just grinning at me. I don’t understand what that display was all about!

“Oh, he’s _mad_!” Verg says in a mocking tone.

“In short, we’ve been aiming for you from the start,” Froud says. Aiming for _me_? What the hell? I feel physically ill.

“Essentially, you are like a source of food for us. Consuming you will grant us great strength,” Kaltz explains in a reluctant tone.

“Food? Why me?” I ask, trying not to obviously show disgust. 

“We govern emotions. Consuming a soul with incredible emotion bestows us the finest power. In rare cases, such a soul appears,” Razel elaborates, indicating I am such a soul.

Is it because of this empathy I’ve always had? The ability to feel what others are feeling? My gods. 

“We’re always looking. But this time, Leaks reached out to us. There was a top-quality meal to be eaten, and so we were called,” Verg says.

“By Leaks?” I ask. I’m no more than a delicacy to them? And if so—how the hell did Leaks know? He did say he knew everything about me, didn’t he?

“It seems that somehow you got in Leaks’ way. He wanted to let us eat you, so we fought for you,” Froud says.

“The snakes inside you were part of us. The marks on your body were our seals,” Razel explains further.

“When you controlled your emotions and never let your soul drown, that was your victory. All of us were beautifully defeated,” Froud says almost cheerfully. “Apparently, both you and Leaks are owners of souls stronger than we expected.” 

“Was it your fault my ears and tail turned black?” I ask. Maybe I’m _not_ the cat destined to bring doom to this world after all, like the shaman said I was.

“That would be wrong. However, your body may have reacted to our influence,” Kaltz suggests.

“Because you matched the curse from the prophecy, right? Like it was predicted? What if you really _are_ like that after all?” Verg asks with a smirk, and I don’t like what he is suggesting.

“At any rate, we lost to you and Leaks broke his contract with us. We lost our power, and this is the part you never heard—well, since we lost our power, your existence looks all the more appetizing to us.” Froud says. 

Wait, wait.

“Appetizing?” I echo, growling and baring fangs, my claws drawing. My body fills with the will to survive—regardless of the odds, I will not just sit here and be eaten! So that's why they are here now?

“Don’t be so guarded. We’re still at a temporary truce.” Froud’s words surprise me.

“Truce?” I echo.

“You only have one soul. It hasn’t been decided who will take it,” Razel says.

“Since we don’t have our power, the only way to get you is to devour you from head to toe. So we’ve decided to stick together to avoid having anyone steal you away,” Verg says mischievously.

Head to toe? That sounds utterly disgusting! My fur bristles and a shudder ruffles through it. 

“What?” It is rather unbelievable.

“In doing so, we can all keep an eye on each other,” Razel explains calmly.

It does not soothe my rage. None of this is soothing! I will _not_ be eaten by these monsters!

“Wait a second. I don’t plan on letting you eat me!” I interrupt.

“The wishes of the prey don’t matter. This is a life or death issue for us!” Verg exclaims.

I click my tongue angrily. I will _not_ be referred to as prey. 

“Well, let’s not get so heated. First,” Froud starts, but his sentence is interrupted by a familiar and very welcome voice.

“Hey!” At the entrance of the alley, it’s my silver cat. He is approaching at full speed, both his longsword and dagger drawn.

“Hey, hey—wait just a second. This cat and us—we were just—” Verg puts up both his hands, trying to stop his advance—Verg is the first in Rai’s line of sight, but my Togua does not slow.

“Shut up,” Rai snarls, his voice menacing. “Get away from him.”

“We haven’t done anything to him,” Kaltz says calmly.

“Don’t care. It’s pointless,” Rai growls.

“Damn it, that’s why I hate cats,” Verg says. “Hey, pipsqueak.”

“It’s not pipsqueak,” I growl. “It’s Konoe.”

“You look like a pipsqueak to me,” Verg says. “But that’s not the point! Listen, I told you this just a little while ago. Telling lies is what your kind and humans do. But devils don’t tell lies. Never.”

“We are faithful to our desires. Even if it is something evil, we do what we please. Therefore, we cannot deceive you. This entire conversation was entirely true,” Froud says.

“You’re going to _eat_ me?” I ask.

Rai's fur bristles fully. “Like _hell_! No one is eating my Sanga!” 

“I was trying to tell you and was interrupted! I’d like it if you’d listen to the end,” Froud says, somewhat pompously, glancing in Rai’s direction.

“There’s no reason to listen. It’s pointless,” the silver cat repeats. His vehemence startles me, especially since he hasn’t even heard the first part of the conversation. I mean, I don’t hate his protectiveness, but he is openly hostile.

At this point, I’m really not sure. If what the devils are saying is true, that would be better than if they were lying. We'd have allies against Leaks. I kind of want to hear them out. We can always fight them later if we don’t believe them, but I hesitate to go against my Touga so openly. I worry I may not be strong enough to help him fight if this _is_ another one of Leaks' traps, and they are lying. I glance up at Rai, and I meet his gaze boldly. He acknowledges me by meeting my eyes. My mouth opens, and a single word falls out.

“Talk.”

After giving what I’m sure is a mocking, theatrical bow—oddly reminiscent of that weird clown who travels with Leaks—Froud replies, “I’m honored to have your permission to continue. First of all, we can conclude that we too want to defeat Leaks. Of course, we need to regain the power he stole from us. So I have only one suggestion: if it’s not too much trouble, why don’t we join forces?”

Rai’s ears twitch.

“What does that mean?”

“You are pursuing Leaks as well. We mean that we should cooperate for our mutual interests. It would be more efficient to combine our efforts and work together in a temporary truce,” Kaltz says. 

“Don’t joke around,” Rai growls, disbelieving.

“Currently, Leaks has stolen our power. In a sense, we are unarmed. If you were to fight us now, this would be your golden opportunity,” Razel says. Even I can tell he is provoking Rai. He is calling on Rai's sense of fairness—his warrior spirit—not to attack an unarmed opponent. “We will first defeat Leaks together and regain our powers. Our own quarrel will wait till afterward.”

“There is no proof that this isn’t a trap.” The silver cat—asking for proof—just like he did from the shaman. I’m glad he is here. I wouldn’t have thought to ask. But does that mean I already believe what Razel is saying?

“Ahh, trap, evidence, what kind of crap is this? Then what do you plan to do?” Verg asks angrily.

“Whoa there, calm down,” Froud says. Verg stops stamping his foot on the ground. Turning to Rai, Froud continues, “It’s good to be prudent. But doing it to extremes will prove counterproductive.”

“What are you trying to say?” Rai growls, offended.

“I’m saying that sometimes you’ll need the courage to jump into the flames,” the green-haired demon replies. “Well, let’s put aside our shame and show you some evidence.” Looking at Verg, Froud snaps his fingers and points at Verg, who looks like he’d rather die.

“Huh? Hell no—why me? No— _you_ do it!”

“But I _hate_ that,” Froud whines. 

“Huh? Don’t be selfish. Then Kaltz or Razel should do it!” But when I glance at those two, Kaltz turns away, and Razel shakes his head sternly.

“And so...” Froud says expectantly.

Clicking his lips, Verg says, “Fine, I get it. I’ll do it.”

The devil of pleasure puts a hand to his chest, and to my disbelief, his fingers sink in deeply, making a strange, squishing sound that makes my ears twitch and my fur stand on end. It looks excruciating. Slowly, he pulls a glowing orb out of his chest—a misshapen orb, glowing with an enchanting yellow light.

“What do you think this is?” Froud’s voice interrupts my gaze, startling me. “Do you know?”

“This is the source of our power. Precisely, it is what gives us a concrete form. Each of us has one, and originally they were spheres,” Kaltz explains.

“They became distorted when your power was stolen?” I ask. I’m unable to look away from that light. 

“This should be proof enough of our current weakness, right?” Verg says impatiently, obviously eager to put his power source back in his chest. I’m sure he feels exposed. He doesn’t wait for my reply, simply pushing the power source back into his chest, the same disgusting sounds coming from his body. I feel slightly sick, but I can’t look away.

“With this, you've got to believe us,” Froud says, addressing Rai. Somehow, he knows Rai is the one he has to convince. He is, after all, the one who asked for proof.

“Have it your way,” Rai answers—quite an expected way for him to answer, I think, but nonetheless, he still doesn’t sound like he trusts them.

“Is this good enough for you, too?” Froud asks me directly.

“You won’t eat me till we’ve defeated Leaks, right?” I confirm. This will at least give us some time. Even in their weakened state, I don’t think Rai could take them all on right now—and more importantly, I don’t _want_ him to for my sake, which is what he was about to do when he came charging down the alley, as gallant as he looked. If we have a temporary truce with them, I can improve my skills as a Sanga, then I will be of more help to him, at least. I can’t let him risk himself. They’ve been after me since the beginning, they said.

“I’d like to avoid the primitive method of simply devouring you from head to toe,” Froud says, but his tone says something different from his words. It sounds like he'd like that very much. “In addition, it’s unusual for devils to fight without their powers. After we’ve regained our powers, then we’ll do it.”

Is it really true that devils don’t lie? Is it possible that this conversation was a lie from the start? I have no idea what to believe. I certainly have no intention of being devoured by _any_ of these devils. The more I think about this, the more confused I feel—but then, I remember the words of the shaman. The basis for judging what is true really comes from within me—it’s what I decide to believe—it isn’t based on what’s outside of myself. I take a deep breath.

I settle the fur on my ears and tail. Their words don’t sound like lies to me. And for now, I think the best course of action is to believe them—when I get stronger, then, if we need to, Rai and I can change our minds and break this truce and fight them. 

“I understand,” I say firmly, my head lifted, my ears straightened. Then I turn to face Rai, hoping he isn’t livid. He is looking at me—but like he did at the shaman, as though he was waiting to decide for myself. He almost looks... proud of me.

“So then, it’s a deal. Until we destroy Leaks, we won’t eat you. We promise,” Froud says, pleased and smiling broadly. Gods, he is _so_ creepy—and the place my tooth was hurts when I even  _look_ at him. Has that been what has been bothering me this entire time?

No—more than that. It’s the empathy I was born with—this ability to feel what others are feeling— _that_ is what brought these devils to my door in the first place—and what Rai has endangered himself to protect me from. But again, I wonder how Leaks knows about something that has been a part of me as long as I can remember. I try not to be bitter, but I feel a dark mood fall over me, and I try to unclench my teeth and my fists.

“What are your plans after this?” I ask the devils. Mostly, I don’t want them causing trouble for anyone in this city.

“You kitties are staying at an inn, right?” Froud asks.

“Yeah,” I say, slightly hesitant. 

“I guess that’s where we’re going then,” Verg says, smiling. He seems to have gotten over his embarrassment or discomfort from earlier remarkably quickly.

“To the inn?” I echo. That won’t work. They will stand out way too much! And what will I tell Bardo?

“We cannot afford to take our eyes off you,” Kaltz says, almost apologetically. As usual, he is the kindest of the four—a reluctant devil.

“It would be troublesome if you died before we got a chance to eat you. If you’re gone, that’s a problem,” Verg says.

I’m confused as hell now. I for _sure_ do not want these four following me around. I’ve already got one cat glued closer to me than I know what to do with. Four devils would drive me insane. I glance at Rai, and for a moment, I’m sure he’s going to shrug his shoulders and walk off in disgust. Instead, he surprises me. 

“He does not need a babysitter. If you expect to come to the inn with us, you will need to keep a respectable distance. You four have a terrible track record with my Sanga.”

“Your... _Sanga_?” Froud asks, suddenly perking up and interested. But Froud has heard me sing—did he not tell the others?

“Yes. I am training him, and he is in my care. If you wish to stay at the inn, you may do so. However, I will kill you if any of you lay a finger on him. Plus—if this really is a truce—“ Rai glares at the green-haired demon, “I want a show of goodwill from you, in particular, toward my Sanga, to earn back your trust.” 

“What?” Froud puts a hand on his chest. “Whatever could you mean? Why just me?” 

“Because of all of these guys, you _still_ have something that belongs to him, don’t you? Return it, before we go any further. You’re a devil, you still have _some_ power. Use it to painlessly return it to him, make it the way it was. I will kill you if he utters even a single sound of pain, without a second thought.” Rai’s voice is cold and even. It just now occurs to me that he is talking about my tooth!

Froud looks at Rai and covers his mouth—no, he is covering a smile.

Razel stares down Froud, as do Verg and Kaltz. “Do it,” Razel says.

“I will,” Froud says. “I’m just surprised to see how attached the white kitty is to the little kitten. I mean, he _is_ cute and even cuter with his fur restored, even if black is my favorite color. Come here, then, Konekochan.” 

I feel absolutely sick getting closer to the devil of joy than I have to, but Rai is motioning me with his chin—and his sword is drawn. Froud pulls something from around his neck—my tooth—and shows it to me. 

“I kept it safe and sound, wearing it next to my heart. I’ve still not given up on you,” he murmurs. “Now open your mouth.” 

“My gods,” Verg says. “You pulled his tooth?! No wonder he won’t trust us!”

I hesitate, but I obey. I see a bright flash of green light, and my mouth gets warm but not hot.

“Does it hurt?” Rai asks.

“Huh-uh,” I reply in the negative, my mouth open, but my body covered in a nervous sweat.

“Even _I_ can be gentle, as you well remember, Konekochan,” Froud says, making me shiver unpleasantly. I don't want to remember. “There we are. Good as new.” He pats my cheek, and suddenly, my tooth is back as though it had never been pulled. Even the hole from the drill is gone—I don't know how he has done it, except by magic. Just briefly, I remember the sound of the bone shards he picked out and dropped into the bucket and I think I might vomit—but I save it for later.

“One last demand—your horns and tails are not going to fly. You must hide them. For the festival, I’m sure they worked well. How long do you need? Two minutes is enough, I think?” Rai asks. “If it’s not possible, then you can sleep in the woods behind the inn.”

“Oy,” Verg says. “You’re saying you want us to disguise ourselves as cats? Disgusting!”

“Do what you want. However, while in the city and at the inn, you will fit in inconspicuously,” Rai replies. “If you don’t like my conditions, feel free to lodge elsewhere.” He has a calm voice and is waiting patiently. 

I see quite a bit of trial and error, and Kaltz says, “That looks like a wolf,” and Razel says, “quit joking around, Verg—this is serious.” But within two minutes, all four devils look more or less like cats with strangely colored fur on their ears—which vary widely in size—and also on their tails. Also, their fangs always show, except Kaltz, who has hidden his.

“Baring fangs is a sign of aggression, so keep your mouth shut, Verg,” he says quietly.

“Time’s up,” Rai says. He gives me a rather strange look—almost like he will burst out laughing and he simply says, “This is absolutely ridiculous.”

I lower my face, feeling like I am to blame, but he surprises me. Instead, he closes the distance between us, and takes my chin in his fingers, kissing my mouth deeply—right in front of everyone standing there. My fur fluffs out broadly, and I can’t help my response, murmuring and sighing into his mouth. It feels good, though I am shocked. I feel like he is claiming me in front of them a second time. The first, after all, was at the auction. Rai makes me feel safe.

“In case there is any doubt about me killing you when I say not to lay a finger on this cat, I am very serious,” he says when he pulls away. And then he starts walking. I follow behind him closely—because I don’t know where the hell we are—and he seems to be aware of this. Instead of letting me embarrass myself, he leads the way back to the inn himself. 

I feel the urge to attack that white fluffy tail swaying so proudly behind him—pounce on it—play with it—swipe it even just once. But I will wait till we get back to the inn. I’m so pleased to have my tooth back—it feels so weird—and my mouth feeling pain-free—that I am going to demonstrate my gratefulness—as soon as we are back in our room. I'm making plans now. I think perhaps something like we did in the forest, and my body starts to heat up more than a little bit.

Oh shit—it looks like I couldn’t wait till the inn. I couldn’t help it! But if he didn’t want me to swipe at his tail, he shouldn’t be swinging it so widely! I catch his tail and pop it in my mouth. He gives me a surprised look, raising his eyebrows, his pupil slightly narrowed. But when he sees it was me, his face softens into a smile.

“Sorry,” I mutter softly. “I couldn’t help it. You were tempting me too much.” 

Verg clicks his tongue from directly over my shoulder in exaggerated irritation.

“Can’t you two save it till we at least get back to the inn? Jeez. I don’t want to watch this!”

“Aww—are you jealous?” Froud asks, his voice playful. “I just can’t wait to sleep at an inn! Do we get down pillows and feather beds? It’s been forever! Home cooked meals?”

“Food?” I ask, surprised. “I thought...”

“We imbibe in food and drink whenever we like, but we don’t require it for survival,” Razel explains, his voice gentle. “Existences like yours—that is what we need for survival.”

I get a small chill in my spine at his words—but the idea of the devils sitting down for dinner intrigues me somehow. But now I'm worried. Am I going to tell Bardo who they are really, or would it be better to let him believe they are cats? They look pretty convincing as cats right now.

“Rai,” I whisper. 

Rai glances at me.

“What should I tell Bardo?”

“This,” he says with a sigh, “this is _all_ on you. I did what I could. Bakaneko.” 

“But—would Bardo be all right with letting devils stay at his inn?” I hiss, almost desperate now since the inn is within view. “What if I don’t say anything and he finds out later?”

Even as we are walking up to the door, I _still_ haven’t decided what to do.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! An update to this little fic!
> 
> Konoe takes their new allies back to Bardo's inn, where they get rooms. He has a minor confrontation with Verg involving some non-con touching, and Konoe realizes that despite the truce, the demons cannot be trusted.

“We are going to need some extra rooms,” I say when I walk into the inn. Bardo is working in the books and he looks up at me, surprised.

“What’s this? More friends of yours? Ah—wait just a minute.”

He stands up and grabs my arm suddenly, making Rai bristle his fur.

“Watch your hands,” Rai growls.

“I just—hang on—both of you, then,” Bardo says, rolling his eyes. He drags me into the dining room for a second, away from the devils now disguised as cats. Of course, Rai is hot on my heels, arms crossed.

“What?” I ask, as innocently as I can.

“Kitten. I _saw_ them. Those four—I _remember_ them from the auction,” Bardo says. My ears lower in shame at the mention of the auction. “I know what they are, and I know they aren’t cats. My question is—why in the _hell_ are they here with you two? Have you lost your mind?” 

I’d completely forgotten Bardo was at the auction, too, and he’d probably stayed to the end to see who ended up with me. Of course, he’d recognize them. It was foolish to think otherwise. Looking up at Rai, Rai glances back at me, eyebrow lifted as if to say, “ _this is all you_.”

Sighing heavily, I say, “It’s hard to believe, but we currently have a truce.” 

“A truce? You’re working _with_ devils?” Bardo asks, disbelief in his tone.

“Leaks stole their power, so we currently have the same enemy.”

“Leaks? The _sorcerer_?” Bardo is shocked. That’s right—he doesn’t know that Leaks was the source of my curse. “What’s he got to do with anything?” 

“Apparently he called upon the devils to eat me, and when they failed, he took their power. He said that he is allowing me to live on account of, um, my entertainment value.” I look down, feeling gross and a little wigged out—wondering exactly how much of me Leaks can see at any given time. He knew about my ability to sense others’ emotions, for example. That was disturbing. And he knew about my stay in the brothel, though that could have been a report from the devils.

“I see,” Bardo says, then he turns to Rai. “Are you all right with this—working with devils?”

“It’s not my decision,” Rai says neutrally, “plus, they met my terms.”

Bardo sighs. “All right, kitten, but this is dangerous.” He wanders back out into the reception area.

“Yo,” he says, addressing the devils. “Sorry for the delay. I was just checking to make sure the kitten knew what he was getting himself into. How many rooms do you need?”

“Well, how many are available?” Froud asks. “I want my own bed with a pillow.”

“You came after Antou, so I have four rooms available if you’d like them.”

“That would be fine,” Razel’s low voice purrs. “Do you require payment now?”

“No, upon check out,” Bardo says. “Will you be eating with us in the dining room?”

“We can eat or not,” Verg says. “It doesn’t matter either way.”

“So—which is it?” Bardo asks.

“I said either way!” Verg snaps, annoyed.

Bardo sighs and hands each of the devils a key.

“The rooms are upstairs, and they are numbered, according to keys.”

“Thank you,” Kaltz says.

“Konoe, would you mind showing them to their rooms? I’m in the middle of the books,” Bardo asks.

I hear an irritated huff from the silver cat, and I glance in his direction. He nods his chin lightly and then says, “I’ll be outside caring for my sword. Once they are settled, come and see me. We will train.”

I lead the entire hoard of devils up the stairs—it's still unbelievable. Froud and Kaltz each choose the first two rooms, entering and closing their doors, and Razel and Verg linger in the hallway. I gesture to the two remaining rooms that belong to them, and Razel nods, acknowledging that he understands, and he opens the door to the room but remains in the hallway for a moment, watching Verg. His actions make me focus on the devil of pleasure, who is grinning at me, leaning in the open doorway of his room. I suddenly start to feel extremely uncomfortable, and I duck my head—realizing that I’ll have to pass by both devils to get back to the stairs.

“Well, now that you know where your rooms are, I should get back for training,” I say, my voice not nearly as confident as I intend.

“How kind of you to show us the way,” Verg says, grabbing my arm, “Perhaps you want a small tour?”

“Ah, no—thank you, that’s all right,” I reply, glancing at Razel for assistance.

“He can watch if you are afraid I might eat you,” Verg mutters into my ear. He pulls me into his room, ignoring my resistance, and the devil of wrath follows us, keeping his arms crossed. “I just want to confirm something from earlier.”

His mouth dives into the depths of my ear, and that long tongue licks me wetly—making me shiver in spite of myself.

“You certainly smell different than you did at that brothel,” Verg mutters quietly. “Still very innocent—and so very young and sweet—but now, I think you understand a little something of pleasure, don’t you? Even more than you did during the trial in the Field of Four Colors?”

“Please—let me go,” I protest—and I’m ashamed I can’t speak any louder. “I need to train and Rai will miss me—” 

“I _heard_ that,” Verg says, and then whispers, “but how _exactly_ is he training you? Has he discovered your secret gift yet?”

“What gift?” I ask, trying to shrink out of Verg’s grasp but not being able to. 

“The fact that you can come from a spanking, kitten,” Verg growls into my ears. “You haven’t forgotten, have you?” He grabs my ass intrusively, though I am trying to get away from him. Now really afraid, I raise my voice.

“Don’t _touch_ me!”

“Oh, you were playing hard to get earlier, too—in the alley, weren’t you?” Verg asks. 

“No! I said, don’t touch me!”

“Now, now, I love the sound of your voice, but I will silence you if you don’t keep it down. We don’t want to attract more attention than necessary.”

“ _Help_ me!” I plead with the red demon, who is simply watching. Verg pushes me down onto the bed, and I start to panic. “Stop it—let me _go_ —get _off_ of me! Get off-”

My protest is cut off with Verg’s hands over my mouth. He brushes his other hand across my throat almost tenderly and my voice is silenced. Even after he moves his hand away, not a sound comes out, much to my frustration. 

“Will you look at that? I still have _that_ magic available to me! How handy!” The devil of pleasure sounds very pleased with himself indeed. 

“Please,” is the words my lips are forming, but no sound comes out.

“Normally, this isn’t a spell I like to use since I _enjoy_ hearing pleasure spill from those I connect with. But you are playing a little _too_ hard to get, even for my taste, kitten!” He grabs the base of my tail, and my body stiffens, remembering that strange power he has even before the bolt of near painful pleasure shoots through my body. It ruffles out all my fur, and again, Verg seems very pleased with himself. A small sound does come out of my lips—a helpless-sounding hum—and he looks down at me. I’m truly terrified.

“So, yes or no—does the silver cat know you _like_ pain?”

I _don’t_ like pain! I glare up at the demon angrily and he smirks back at me, running his hands through my bristled fur.

“Shall I warm you up a bit? Make you hot for him? I know you can’t stop thinking about him—even when _I’m_ right in front of you! It’s most irritating.” 

I shake my head violently. I don’t want him to touch me, and I again try to escape, scrabbling against the bed, but both my hands are grabbed and pinned against the mattress. He uses only one hand to keep me pinned in place, and the other skates down the length of my body, tracing my waist and hips, hovering at my groin.

“You have such a lovely shape. These hips of yours—you sway them deliberately when you walk, don’t you? I think you ought to suffer the consequences of flaunting your body so obviously, riling me up, when you aren’t willing to put out as you should.”

A sharp intake of breath from me, this one in fear, shows him I am listening. I shake my head and make the words, “Please, no,” with my mouth.

“Tempting creature—I’m sure I could convince you to return with me to my world if you’d give me the chance.” 

Razel is not really watching now—his presence is only there to make sure Verg doesn’t eat me!

“Please help!” I beg him silently, but I’m ignored. Then I realize my feet and legs are free—and as frightened as I am, I am _not_ at the brothel anymore. Part of my fear is the underlying terror of being beaten for not complying to Verg’s wishes—but that won’t happen now. I’m _free_! I can fight back!

In fact, he has to keep my legs free if he wants to take my pants off. I stop my excessive struggling for a moment—to prevent him from shocking me again. Instead, I stare up at his face, waiting for him to grab my belt.

And sure enough—he hovers over me and grabs my belt, still pinning my arms down, murmuring something about how much nicer I am when I comply. But then, I bring my knee up sharply—and as quickly and firmly as I can—right into Verg’s groin. 

He makes an impressive groan—and I prepare myself for another shock—which never comes. Instead, he rolls off me onto the side of the bed and releases my hands. I still can’t speak, but I waste no time—I slip out from under his body as fast as I can and escape the room.

Razel brushes my ears as I leave. I think I hear him chuckling under his breath, saying something like, "Most impressive, little one!"

I hear Verg swearing on the bed behind me, but I sneak down the hallway and run down the stairs as quickly as I can.

“Oy—don’t run on the stairs!” Bardo rebukes me.

I can only nod in reply, but I bolt through the dining room and toward the back door, where I find Rai caring for his sword. Rushing toward him, I hug his body from behind, not giving any care to the blades he has his lap.

“Oy, kitten, be careful!” Smiling slightly, he rubs my ears. “Everyone get settled?”

I don’t reply—I can’t. My mouth opens and nothing comes out. How long will my voice be gone? Will the spell eventually wear off? I have tears shining in my eyes, but I'm glad to see Rai.

“Oy?” Rai turns to look at me, his nose wrinkled slightly. “What happened?”

I shake my head and put a hand to my throat, try opening my mouth again. He observes me then lowers his nose to my ears.

“You can't speak? Did one of them touch you?!” His voice is covered with rage. 

I wave my hand to indicate I’m fine. I feel stupid about the whole thing— I shouldn’t have been alone with them. It was my own fault.

“Which one?” He asks.

I touch my throat again and shake my head.

“Froud?” He asks. I shake my head and hold up my hand. I pull the collar of my shirt down exposing my chest. “Shit! Verg!? What did he want?”

I shrug, feel my ears fill with heat and look away. Then I lightly pat my ass. 

“Of course,” Rai murmurs. “Do you want me to kill him?”

I look up and shake my head. Rai has a smirk on his face.

“Come on, then.” 

He pulls me behind him, dragging me back inside and back up the stairs. I try to resist, but I can’t.

“Stop your resistance. You need your voice back if we are going to train. And you're safe with me,” he says matter of factly. I'm just afraid he's going to overreact.

I obey, lowering my ears.

“Which is his room?” I indicate the correct door, and Razel opens his door across the hall.

“Certainly, you haven’t forgotten our truce,” he says calmly.

“I haven’t,” Rai says, mimicking Razel's calm voice, “but one of you seems to have forgotten the ground rules, and I want to make them perfectly clear.”

I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach, but Rai maintains a firm grip on my arm. He bangs on Verg’s door, who looks surprised to see us standing there. 

“Listen, demon, this kitten is mine. If I discover you’ve much as _touched_ him outside of his will, I won’t hesitate to come after you.”

“He was _asking_ for it!” Verg says casually. “I mean—even the way he walks—you can’t deny this kitten is a notorious flirt! He had it _coming_!”

“Just so we are clear,” Rai lowers his voice, “the _only_ thing he _ever_ has ‘coming’ to him is _my_ affection. I don’t wish to put him on the spot, but to get my point across…”

Rai suddenly pulls me in close, pushing me against Verg’s door, which opens inward. He presses his body against mine, pushing one of his legs in-between my thighs while taking my lips violently—as if claiming my body. Not just in front of Verg, but actually _in_ his bedroom!

I’m covered in shivers, responding from his sudden touch and my existing excitement and fear, and I feel my ears fill with blood in embarrassment, but it feels good—mostly because Rai is pleased to have me, to be seen with me, to show a public display of affection to me. And he tastes nice—and smells good—and I can’t help responding to him.

When he pulls away from my mouth, he nuzzles my ears and licks them several times, as though replacing the demon’s scent with his own.

I make the mistake of glancing at Verg over Rai’s shoulder, and he is _fuming_! It makes me cringe.

“Have I made myself clear?” Rai asks, softly, still concentrating on my ears but speaking to Verg.

“I got it, I got it,” Verg says, clearly irritated. “Get the fuck out of here.”

But Rai runs his hands along my waist quite boldly, and still addressing the demon, says, “I’d love to, but you still have something that belongs to him.”

“Huh? What?”

“Give him back his voice,” Rai says—and the calm tone in his voice raises gooseflesh on my skin. Rai’s right hand moves from my hips to the hilt of his longsword. “Now.”

“Oh, yeah. It would come back on its own in a little while anyway,” Verg says. He reaches out and waves his hand over my throat, then caresses it gently. I gasp and flinch, trying to pull away from his touch, but Rai encourages me, resting his left hand on my hip. I don’t like the demon’s hands on me even one little bit. 

But suddenly, I’m coughing and choking, and my voice is back.

“There you go,” Verg says, giving me a suggestive smile. Rai simply kisses me again—this time wringing a lovely sigh from me at the same time. “Okay, okay, I _get_ it! You’ve made your point!”

Rai purrs softly, pulls away from my mouth, and combs his claws through my fur—my ears and tail.

“Come on, then. Let’s go train.”

I glance back over my shoulder, watching as steam seems to flood from Verg's ears. Razel stays where he is, simply watching calmly, remaining collected. Those devils are dangerous! I should stay away from them.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, I haven't abandoned this fiction.
> 
> A very short and sweet-ish update. It's getting fluffy in here... kinda? After Rai confronts Verg for stealing Konoe's voice and touching him, he takes his Sanga out to for training. Several hours after, Konoe realizes that his Touga does not actually have neutral feelings about his encounter with the devil of pleasure.

Rai works me hard during training—both sword training and in song—switching off when I get too tired or exhausted from one to do the next. We train for several hours—my arms are nearly numb from defending the strong hits from his sword, and I can no longer stand on my feet by the time we are finished. It occurs to me that Rai doesn't have neutral feelings about the devil of pleasure and my recent encounter with him. It feels like he’s pissed at me during this last round with the sword. I go flying and land on my ass, unable to stand. He pulls me to my feet and my knees buckle, and he catches me easily. 

“Are you angry with me?” I finally ask. I should know better by now—asking questions I don’t really want to know the answers to, I suppose. But I’m exhausted and am really not thinking clearly. I’m tired and hungry, and I want to go back to the inn and bathe, eat dinner, and then sleep.

“No, kitten,” Rai sighs. He brushes the hair from my forehead. “I’m worried.”

“About Leaks?”

“We don’t have enough information about him. And we need to fight as a pair if we are going to take him down. And after your encounter with Verg, I’m thinking a truce with those devils, while it was a good idea to keep them from going after you, wasn’t the smartest move.”  
  
“Why didn’t you say so?” I’m a little frustrated. I don’t know anything about strategy and I tend to let the heat go to my head. I don't know what else I could have done.

“I didn’t know what the alternative was. If you refused their offer, would I really be able to take all those devils on right at that moment? I wasn’t sure I could protect you from all four at once, even with their currently diminished power. For now, we need to be careful. I don't trust them. I don’t want you to go near them without me.”

I find his words slightly annoying, probably because I'm tired. I like that he's protective, but I got away from Verg on my own today, not because of his help.

“I’m not entirely helpless!” I burst out.

Rai laughs—he actually _laughs_ —and it rings out loud and deep in the forest as he makes his way back to the inn. He is carrying me right now, so I see the irony after my statement. In fact, I _am_ quite helpless.

“Not helpless?” He says. “I could do anything I wanted to you right now and no one would be the wiser.” 

I growl in irritation.

“I just meant—I escaped Verg when he attacked me!”

“You mean when he took your voice. You understand _why_ he took your voice, don’t you?” Rai is speaking into my ears as he walks, and it’s making me feel slightly strange, kind of shivery and like maybe I'd like to add something to that list of bathing, eating, and sleeping when we get back to the inn.

“Well, I assume because I was being loud and annoying?”

“No. It was to prevent you from calling out for my help.”

“But I didn’t actually  _need_ your help!” I sputter.

“Kitten, I could _smell_ him all over you when you came downstairs, unable to tell me what happened! I _know_ he touched you. What did he do? What was he trying to do? Do you know what could have happened?” He sounds concerned more than angry, and he isn't being mean.

I don’t open my mouth or protest anymore. I do know what happened and I understand clearly what could have been. That should be enough. But Rai stops walking. It’s really dark and quiet in the forest and we are not on the path. It kind of makes my fur stand on end. 

“I was going to wait till after I got you back to the inn,” Rai growls into my ear, nipping it softly and sucking the tip into his mouth. Because of my current level of exhaustion, I can’t even move my head away much less fight him off, though it tickles like crazy. “I wanted to make it clear to the rest of them exactly _whose_ Sanga you are—after dinner—so all those devils will be as clear on the ground rules as possible. But this could go several ways for you.” 

“Rai…” I whisper. He’s frightening me just a little bit. I can’t move, and that growling is a little scary. It's also incredibly sexy. What is wrong with me that I feel like that? Do I enjoy feeling scared?

“I could, perhaps, either punish you or take you (or perhaps both) in the dining room in front of everyone there. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself. And you might be a bit nervous at first, but I could still blow your mind with desire and make you lose control.”

“You wouldn’t!” I say. That’s as bad as who I was at the brothel. “I’m not a whore!” 

“You aren’t. You’re _mine_.” He kisses my lips roughly. “So what’s it going to be? Will you _behave_ yourself? Or do you want me to _show_ you that you are mine?” 

Behave?! What is this? Is he jealous? Of Verg? Of the devil? Why?! I did nothing to instigate his attack!

My fur bristles thickly and I growl right back at him.

“I’m your _Sanga_ ,” I correct him, much more boldly than I actually feel, considering how defenseless I am at the moment. 

“You are indeed. And you are currently being wooed by four devils desiring your soul who are unable or unwilling to stick to the ground rules of the truce you’ve negotiated.” 

“Are you _jealous_?!” I sound incredulous. “I don’t _want_ any of them! I don't care about them, as long as they leave me alone!”

“Well then, what _do_ you want?” His voice is low and whispering, spoken directly in my ear, and his handsome face looks down at me. His blue eye sparkles in the moonlight.

“I-i…” I manage to stammer, and I drop my gaze. At least my eyelids aren’t paralyzed. But he tips my chin up to meet his gaze. His eyelashes are so long and plush and pretty.

“Tell me. What do you want?” 

“I-i want to conquer Leaks?” I answer shyly, unable to meet his gaze so directly. It feels like he can see inside my mind, looking at me like this. I know this isn't what he's asking.

“I can help you with that as your faithful Touga. Anything _else_?”

“I want to stay by your side,” I whisper, still unable to look at him. And then I do meet his gaze. He is smiling at me.

“I want you here at my side. Anything else?” His voice is soft and gentle.

“I _don’t_ want you to do anything to me in the dining room. That’s just embarrassing.”

“I _embarrass_ you?” He sounds amazed. Rai peers at my face a little more closely, smirking.

“Not _you_! But having that kind of thing… done to me… in public would be very embarrassing! How can you think otherwise?! What is wrong with you?!” How does he not realize this?! 

“I am _enchanted_ by you,” Rai says, his voice low and husky. “I do not want anyone else to get the idea they have a chance. So. What is your decision?” 

“My decision?” I echo, my fur bristling thickly.

“Yes. Three choices: right here—right now—while you are utterly unable to defend yourself, in the dining room in front of the other guests or,” and he lowers his lips to my ear to whisper the third option directly into it, “in our bedroom tonight, provided you scream my name in the throes of passion.” He follows his words with his tongue and I shiver.

Why am I being given a choice? He still thinks I did something to entice Verg? This is about him not trusting me!

"Wait just a second," I clarify. "Why do I have to make this choice? Because Verg couldn't stick to his side of the bargain? That's ridiculous."

"No. It's to make it very clear that there  _is,_ in fact, a non-negotiable bargain," Rai says smoothly.

I consider his words—as soon as I recover from the assault on my poor defenseless ear, and the choice is clear. Of course, I’d be a fool to allow him access to me now. I am aware he could take anything if he wanted—well, anytime he wanted—and that I did, mostly, agree to his terms when I asked him to help me escape the brothel. But worse still would be allowing him to touch me in any way in front of the others in the dining room. That's just... traumatic! (So why can't I stop thinking about it?!) So I open my mouth.

“After dinner, tonight,” I say.

“Calling out my name is non-negotiable. If you don’t follow through with this agreement, there will be consequences." 

Again, a strangely pleasant shudder goes down my back and into my tail at his tone.

“What sort of consequences?”  
  
“ _Public_ consequences.”

“Painful consequences?”

“Not for me, and probably not all that painful—or unwelcome—for you. That thing I saw when we first met—that I have been wanting to do to you for a while—that thing might just happen publicly. Just to see if it has the effect I think it might.” 

I consider his words again. He is speaking vaguely—and then, all my fur stands on end when I notice his eye. His pupil is completely dilated. Is he talking about spanking me?! That’s both annoying and more than a little bit arousing.

“You’d do that to me—in front of others?”

“If you don’t follow through with your agreement, _yes_.”

“No!” I insist—and I try to struggle, but I can’t move yet. But honestly, the idea isn’t a complete turnoff. I would much rather he do _that_ in private, however.

"But I would, Konoe. And I think it would sting your pride more than it would sting your bottom, and then your master would become clear to all." 

So not helping me get the images out of my mind! I bite my lip for a moment.

“So, have you made your decision?”

“You can do what you like to me—in _private_ — _after_ dinner,” I murmur—desperate not to think about it too much right now.

“And you will comply with my request?” 

“Yes.”

“Good. I think it will be a positive bonding experience.” He seems satisfied, and he licks both my ears, sending another shiver down my back. He doesn’t stop there, either—he kisses me afterward, taking my chin in his hand and tilting up my face to deepen the kiss. It makes me purr.

“Um—isn’t it almost time for dinner?” I whisper as soon as he pulls away.

“Why? Don’t you trust me?”

“Not when you look at me with that expression and I can’t defend myself!”

He laughs again, standing up and lifting me as he does.

“Even at your best, you have _never_ been able to defend yourself from me or my charms. There’s no need to deceive yourself, kitten.” 

With those words purred in my ear, I know I’m in for a treat this evening. I find my mind wandering to the exact words I said, to what I agreed to—and why. Did I just say he could do with me _as he liked_ this evening? Or did I say I just agreed to _comply_ with his rather specific demand to call out his name? And why does he even want me to do that, in the first place?

When I see the lights on from Bardo’s inn approaching from the darkness in the forest, I start to become rather nervous.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So dinner is awkward, and Konoe is slightly worried that Rai is not going to respect his choice--about waiting till after dinner.
> 
> Triggers: jealous posturing and rough (consensual) sex.
> 
> I'll leave a summary at the end, just in case.

Dinner is awkward—at least for me. I notice Rai doesn’t eat very much, but he keeps piling food on my plate and expecting me to eat it. Plus, he’s glaring around the room at the devils enjoying Bardo’s cooking. I find it odd that the devils who are competing to eat _me_ are consuming Bardo’s food.

In fact—even as they are eating their dinner, I can't ignore the glances from Verg, Razel, and Froud—very  _predatory_ glances. I thought all three of them said they _didn’t_ want to eat me—in the Field of Four Colors—but now, I realize that must have been lies, or else the circumstances have changed since Leaks took their powers. The way in which they are looking at me frightens me and makes me feel like prey, and it makes me flatten my ears.

And worse, Rai notices their looks as well. He growls aggressively and glares right back at the devils, which makes for awkward dinner conversation.

“Shironekochan, you sure do like the kitten, don’t you?” Froud murmurs. “Certainly, he has skills and a nice voice, I know.”

“You don’t know _anything_ about his skills or his voice,” Rai growls forcefully.

I’m starting to worry that the choice I made earlier—the _third_ of the three choices Rai offered—is not going to be honored. Rai has pulled my chair closer to his own, and his posturing is making me nervous.

It almost feels like _he_ wants to devour me as much as the devils do. Jeez! 

And Bardo isn’t helping matters. 

“I never thought you could be like this,” he says softly—to Rai—who looks up at him and growls again.

What is his problem with Bardo, anyway? Isn’t he like a father to Rai? Why is he so angry at him all the time? It scares me.

“You need to keep your opinions to yourself and your mouth shut,” Rai snarls.

I don’t say anything during dinner. I try to enjoy the warmth of Rai’s body next to mine—though I am slightly afraid of what will come after dinner. I did say I would submit to anything he wanted—in our room—and be vocal about it. As soon as I’ve cleared my plate and finished the rest of my drink, Rai grabs my chin and kisses me—a really deep and intimate kiss—especially for the dining room. 

I know I should try to fend him off, but I don’t. It feels kind of nice. My tummy is full and I’m feeling warm and amorous. I still feel slightly nervous, however—because this is not what we agreed. 

“We get it, we get it,” Verg grumbles. “Get out of here and take it to your room.” He sounds surprisingly upset.

Rai glares at him, stands up from the table and grabs my arm roughly, pulling me to my feet. He deliberately struts by the devil of pleasure who reaches out and grabs my tail as I pass—and sends a severe and painful shock through my body.

Of course, Rai hears it and notices my body shaking and jerking, and his fur bristles. He pulls me away from Verg in an instant.

“What the fuck did I tell you earlier?!” 

“Verg—he’s serious about keeping your hands to yourself,” Kaltz says quietly.

“Don’t screw this up for the rest of us,” Razel murmurs.

“For gods’ sake, can’t you at _least_ wait to touch the kitten it when the white kitty isn’t looking? Are you an idiot?” Froud giggles.

But Rai has already drawn his sword and has it pointed at Verg’s neck, nearly touching it. I reach out to stop him—as soon as my breathing gets under control, though I'm panting because of waves of pleasure flowing through me. The shock was painful, of course—but now, I am _inflamed_ with desire. I don’t want to see a fight here. I would much rather do something _else_.

“Oy,” Verg says, holding up both hands. “I’m just trying to help you along. I mean—just _look_ at him!” He motions to me with his chin.

Without moving his weapon, Rai looks at me, and a small surprised gasp escapes his lips. 

“What the fuck? What is _wrong_ with you?” He looks down at me—glaring at me—speaking sharply and harshly, as though I have brought this on myself. Then he glares back at Verg and snaps, “What did you do?!”

“Please—Rai—I’m fine,” I reply, but it’s obvious my voice is _not_ fine. No. My voice is filled with desire and heat, and it sounds very different. I see Rai’s ears flick and twitch, as though my voice tickles them—and it probably does from the look of that bristled fur. Also, his sharply narrowed eye darkens as his pupil dilates. But still—he looks like he wants to devour me.

I don’t actually hate the idea.

And apparently, hearing my voice is enough to make him sheath his sword.

“My gods,” he murmurs softly, and he pulls me from the room.

But we only make it as far as the lobby—when he pushes me up against the reception desk and kisses me again. His body feels hot and aroused—I can feel him pressing against me—almost as aroused as I am. 

I shouldn’t return his kiss—not here—this was _not_ the choice I made. But I can’t help myself. I want to kiss him, so I do. I lift up my chin and expose my throat to him in submission, and I hear a soft dangerous growl rattling in his throat. Why am I acting like this? Why am I acting all submissive and compliant?

I _did_ say I would do whatever he liked. He’s lifted me up onto the reception desk, shoving papers and books onto the floor carelessly. And then—I whisper in his ear as he nips the thin skin of my throat. 

“Rai…”

His ears twitch again, and he actually lifts a hand to one of his ears and scratches it—a grooming type of scratch—or like I do when something gets in my ear and I can’t get it out. It’s a really cute and almost childish mannerism—something I’ve never seen him do—and it’s incredibly endearing. I want to groom those ears right now! 

“What is happening to you? Why do you sound like this?” He asks almost accusingly.

“Like what?” I ask—but I know what he means. My voice is not the same. “I said you could do as you liked—but in our room.”  
  
“I don’t want to wait.”

With those words, both his hands slip under my shirt, and I flinch. His hands feel cool against my hot skin—it’s both soothing and so incredibly arousing—until I realize I do _not_ want to do this here!

“Someone will see us!”

“I _want_ them to see. I want them to see me claiming you,” he murmurs.

“Ah—n-no,” I murmur, but my words and what my voice is indicating in its heated, silky tone is not convincing. But I really, really do _not_ want to do this here! 

To get his attention, I grab both his ears and pinch them with my claws, and he growls at me, meeting my gaze and pulling his lips away from my collarbone, which he has been licking and nipping and kissing.

“What.”

“I do not want to do this here.” There. I have stated my preference, loudly and clearly. “I said I would do whatever you like, but _in our room_.”

“…”

There is a brief pause, after which I hear a sigh followed by another loud growl. I am lifted roughly up over Rai’s shoulder and carried up the stairs. The sudden movement and the rough handling scares me a little. I realize even when I am not exhausted from my song and sword training that I can’t resist him—I don't have a chance to fight him off—and I am just a little frightened. But I’m terribly turned on and excited as well—maybe even _because_ of this roughness.

He’s stomping up the stairs and making his footsteps much louder than usual—making me think he might be angry. And then he opens the door to our room, steps inside and closes the door. He sets me on my feet, turns me around and immediately pushes me up against the door—so I am facing it, leaving my back exposed and defenseless. My fur bristles—and I feel my claws draw against the wood—and I brace my arms against the weight of his body pressing against me. Is this fear? Anticipation? I don’t know. 

“I told you there would be consequences if you do not please me,” he rumbles softly.

A shiver courses down my back and shoulders, ruffling the fur on my tail and my ears. It feels strangely welcome and _hot_.

“ _Public_ consequences.” The tone of his voice is flat but heated. I try to turn around to look at his expression, but I’m surprised when my pants are suddenly stripped from my waist.

“Uwaa!” I gasp in surprise, digging my claws further into the door.

My shirt is stripped off overhead, too—but he leaves it on my arms, trapping in my own clothing. I can’t move from this place when he presses me against the door. A desperate mewling sound escapes my body when his claws trace my back and tail, and travel down to my buttocks and thighs. When he brings his claws up—ever so lightly—against the insides of my thighs, I cry out. I want him to touch me _more_ , and rougher, and my tail is swaying wantonly.

“I don’t like the way they look at you. You are _mine_.” His growl is terrifying and scary—I don’t remember feeling actually afraid of him before, but again—the feeling isn’t entirely unwelcome.

“I’m yours,” I whisper.

“Louder. Tell me you _belong_ to me.” He is kissing and licking my back and my waist and going lower and lower—his hands caressing my thighs and my ass—one stroking the base of my tail and pulling it roughly. I don’t think he’s ever been this rough with me, and it makes me shudder and my fur stands on end.

But I comply gladly and willingly.

“I’m yours—and _only_ yours—Rai,” I say a little louder, complying as he has asked.

“Tell me what you would do for me,” he demands.

“I would do anything you wanted me to,” I whisper. “Rai…”

“Sing. Sing for me.” 

I’m still so tired from our exhausting training session today. But I struggle to find the feeling I want to communicate to him. I _want_ him to take me hard and fast—and I want him to fuck me like he means it. And I would do _anything_ for this cat. I love him—desperately—from the core of my being, and I love this strange possessiveness. It makes me feel dizzy and wanted and desired. 

It’s a little crazy.

But the song spills from my body, shaking me and shaking my flesh, vibrating against my skin—loud and powerful. I feel utterly exposed—like my soul is available for him to take. 

And before I realize, he’s got two fingers inside me, scissoring me apart. That strange mewling sound escapes my mouth—getting louder and louder—and when he brushes that spot inside me, I cry out, and tears burn my eyes.

“Rai! Please—just… fuck me!”

I hear him growling and purring in pleasure, and he pulls my hips out from against the door, making me stick my ass out behind me. My tail is pulled up toward the ceiling, making me shudder and straighten my back—and I feel his heat pressing inside me. I shiver with need—but this actually feels _painful_.

It’s tight—and I feel myself being stretched—and he is still handling me violently. But I _want_ this—I _want_ him to touch me like this. I can feel his need and desire breathing down my neck, and I _want_ him to take me as he is right now and not carefully.

My voice cries out in both pain and desperation—and I breathe his name again when I feel his thighs resting against my ass. He leans over my back and nips my ears and bites my shoulder. Even that induces a strange, heavy pleasure—especially now he is fingering my cock, squeezing the head and the slit. I purr loud and wet in response. I feel so dirty—used, almost—almost like I did at the brothel—but this is somehow what I _need_ right now. It’s utterly confusing.

“You belong to me—little Sanga. You are  _mine_.”

I purr in satisfaction as my body adjusts to his size, but it’s a mix of pleasure and pain when he thrusts in and out of me, snapping his hips against mine. My cries reflect the mix of these feelings—and it’s so bright in this room from my song, I hardly know what to do with myself. I close my eyes and release my voice, letting it all come out. 

“Ah—please—Rai—harder! Faster!” 

As his thrusts become more desperate and eager, I push back against him using the door as leverage—and I realize I am now screaming his name, again and again—and the song spilling from me is wet and lewd and almost… disgusting. I don’t know what to do about it, though—and I am not really worried about it—just like I’m ignoring the saliva dripping from the corners of my mouth and the sexual sound of our sweat-covered flesh colliding. It's strangely arousing me more. 

All the pain of this brutal coupling dissipates as soon as his cock drags against my prostate, and I feel myself coming undone. I am approaching my climax quickly, and the sounds filling the room let him know.

“Konoe,” he whispers into my ear, and it is spoken with such passion and such a strange gentleness—so different from the violence and aggression with which he is taking me—that my entire body responds. Just him saying my name—calling my name—is enough to bring me to the brink. It sinks into my ears, into my heart, into my soul, taking me with as much force as his touch.

Pleasure crashes through my core, and my climax takes me as forcefully as Rai has been taking my body—it floods my hips with violence and pressure—and it feels _so_ good. My body tenses and tightens around his dick inside of me, and I hear him gasp with pleasure while I’m in the throes of mine. And that makes me melt.

“Rai…” 

His climax is just as eager as he has been the entire evening—and he rides it out with several deep thrusts, deliberately brushing inside me to extend my pleasure—and I hear him growl and purr, and gasp as he finishes. I can feel his sweat dripping on my bare skin.

And then—breathlessly, we are finished.

I am winded and absolutely exhausted. He pulls out of me, his cum dripping down the insides of my thighs. Before I collapse to the floor, he pulls me into his arms—so gently and tenderly that it brings tears to my eyes. 

He carries me to the bed, lays me on the mattress, and grooms my ears while he remains standing over me. Eventually, he climbs into bed with me, pulling me into his arms.

“Rai—I want… um,” I whisper, quietly.

“What do you want.” The not-question slips into my ear like honey.

“I want to feel your skin against mine. Please,” I feel so desperate for connection—I need to touch him. 

I hear him chuckle low and deep. He stands up, and I turn to watch as he strips down to nothing, keeping his eye on my face. His body is coated with a shimmer of sweat—and my gods, he smells _good_.

“Hmph,” he hums as he slides back into bed behind me, pushing me onto my side so he can spoon me and continue grooming my ears. I feel the sticky feel of him against my back and I love it. But he’s surprisingly quiet. It’s disconcerting.

“What?” I ask nervously. Did I displease him? Ugh—didn’t he warn me about a public punishment if I displeased him? 

“You sound nervous,” he purrs into my ears. “I _know_ I could make you like it.”

I feel a deep blush fill my ears, and he chuckles again. 

“ _Not_ publicly,” I insist.

“But you said—whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want,” he whispers, drawing a small shiver from my shoulder. I can feel his lips curve in a smile against my ear, and it twitches.

“I did _not_ say that!” I bristle.

“Oh, but you _meant_ it. You even sang it to me. Just now. Didn’t you?”

“Um, maybe. B-but that doesn’t mean—”

“Hush. Sleep. You pleased me. More than I ever imagined. And I would never do anything to hurt you—unless you _wanted_ it.”

He continues to groom me, and I feel much more relaxed now. I am nearly asleep when I hear him murmur again. 

“I just have to _make_ _you_ want it.”

My ears flick in irritation, and he pinches the tip of my tail and chuckles again.

“Sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rai acts jealous during dinner--as the devils are checking out his Sanga. It makes Konoe nervous since he's already told Rai he will do whatever he likes after dinner in their bedroom. As Rai pulls him from the room, Verg shocks Konoe's tail, and it pisses Rai off. Verg says, well, he's only meaning to help. Rai calms down when he looks at Konoe--but maybe calming down isn't the right word. It's more like a switch has flipped--and the violence directed toward the devils becomes directed toward Konoe--in the form of rough sex.
> 
> They make out in the reception area. Konoe gets nervous. He does not want to be "claimed" publicly, and he states his preferences when Rai says he wouldn't care if people saw them. But Rai respects Konoe's wishes and carries him to their room.
> 
> Konoe is slightly frightened--Rai hasn't treated him roughly before, so this is new. But he is pretty excited and doesn't mind it so much. In fact, it shocks him how much he likes it. Rai ends up taking him roughly--and it's a little painful at first--but Konoe not only submits but gets into it, not asking him to stop. He does, in fact, scream Rai's name as requested--without realizing it. And he sings again.
> 
> Afterward, Rai seems to return to his gentle self--and grooms Konoe to sleep. Both are quite content.


End file.
